If there's one time of year we lose our comedy brothers and sisters, it's the summer time. Like a comedian Memorial Day, I can't tell you how many people give up comedy in the summer and never return. After a Fall and Winter of discontent, these fallen soldiers trade in stage time for vacation time. Whether I am running shows, running classes, or just participating in road gigs, I found it's harder to fill a comedy roster in the summer, and the comics who never tapped into paid gigs just slowly fade away, only to be seen on Facebook once in a blue moon liking your posts about future shows. "It's summer time and the living's easy" is a great philosophy for people grinding away 9-5 at an office job, but if you're committed to comedy, there are no seasons. In fact, now is the time to work on your summer body...of work...so when everyone shows up this Fall, you'll be prepared and they'll be buried in winter snow by your new sets. 

Time Off is Not In Your Vocabulary
Yes, yes, you get to visit family or spend a week camping, but if you really think you can take off three months and show up in mid-September and think you'll slay on stage, you're fooling yourself. So much of your material will be outdated (every pop culture reference is out) and you will have changed as a person, therefore disconnecting yourself emotionally from many of your jokes.     

Again, taking a family vacation is fine, but taking off the entire warm weather time to relax on weekends and attend parties and concerts at night isn't for you if you want this. You know who doesn't take summers off? Bands and musicians...because they're too busy working at those parties and beach bashes you want to chill at. 

I've seen it too many times over the years. People a couple years in think they've "earned" the right to take a long break. But had they been scheduling themselves correctly throughout the year, the self-care and work would have intertwined into a somewhat reasonable situation. So if your life is changing this summer, then make sure you schedule your stage and writing time around the other activities. I'm right now reworking my schedule to finish two screenplays, perform weekly, and get gym time in. We are all balancing together. 

It's not easy, but in the words of Michael Caine from The Weather Man, "Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. 'Easy' doesn't enter into grown-up life."

Pick one or two nights to get up (open mics or booked gigs) and give yourself some writing time early in the morning or when you get your free time. This doesn't have to be formal. It can be:

• Journaling
• Jotting Down Random Set Ups
• Listing Complaints
• Voice Recording Frustrations 
• Talking Bits Out With Comics 

Everyone's process is different. If you couldn't write anything to workout on stage, start with one sentence (a complaint) and just beat it to death from every angle at an open mic or show that let's you do that. Two birds. One stone. Zero f**ks given. 

Your Family Can Wait Thirty Minutes
The biggest obstacle I hear is "my family wants me to..." and "We only see each other once a year..." or "My spouse really needs the help..." Great. And you can meet them after your thirty minutes of jotting down funny thoughts or at 8pm instead of 7pm because you did a slotted mic. Trust me, anyone who demands your time on their schedule is always the first to reschedule your meet up. In fact, most people who don't want to work around your schedule in a reasonably accommodating way are just demonstrating they don't respect your goals or dreams, and trust me, you will eventually find yourself cutting them off down the road. If you keep compromising for them, eventually you have no friends, you resent your family, and no comedy career.
 
Clearly, you need to attend the graduations, the birthday parties, the weekly family trip to Yosemite, and the occasional guys/girls night. But if everything is being built around everyone's schedule, you're going to feel it in your bones. I have friends who won't work their schedule around their gym time, afraid they'll lose muscle mass. Is that the healthiest mentality? Probably not, but you got to respect the dedication. At some point you get to put yourself first, because no one else will. 

Comedy Isn't a Job, But Treat It That Way
I don't like telling people comedy is a job. Because it isn't. It's a career. It's a lifestyle. It's a way of life. A job is 8 hours (or more) a day, with required breaks and supervisors. But if you treat comedy like a job, people will understand. Maybe not a first, but over time they will. 

If you told your family and friends, "I can't go to dinner because I work," they'd say that's fine and they'd reschedule another time or day. If you make comedy a priority like that, they will learn to respect it. 

"Sorry, I have to get in my stage time Tuesday night. And I can't any other day this week" is a perfectly fine answer. Ah, but Paul, if I don't do comedy, it's not like I will get fired like a "real" job. Yes you will. When you don't get up and then the paid gig or the showcase comes up and you're not ready, and suddenly the booker won't rebook you. Just like anything else, failing to prepare is preparing to fail.    

Final Thoughts 
Being a comedian isn't easy. It's a lot of sacrifice, and you see so many other people living a life that doesn't involve the struggles comedy creates. But that "normal" life isn't for you. Remember, in a sold out comedy show, there's 200 people watching and only 2-3 people performing. That's the ratio of people creating to those consuming. Want to be different? Then do something different. Successful comics don't spend their summers getting a tan. Their neighbors who attend shows do that. 

I once heard this great story about the Glenn Miller Orchestra. It was winter and they had a gig in the Mid-west. The snow was so brutal they couldn't land the plane at the airport. Instead, they had to land in a giant cornfield about a mile away from the venue. So the band put on their costumes, grabbed their instruments and dragged themselves and the equipment through all that cold to the musical hall. As they walked, knees deep in snow, freezing their asses off, they passed a small house. Inside the lights were on and the fireplace was crackling. The kids were playing games, and the parents were dancing. One member of the band looked at another and said, "How can people live like that?" And then trekked on another mile to the gig. 

You have to see the world from that point of view sometimes. Comedy is about long car rides at midnight, smelly bar gigs, time away from work, missing Coachella, telling your pastor you'll be back in a few weeks, leaving parties early, and turning your frustrations into sketches, bits, and tweets. If you want to be like everyone else, then you can, but instead of sacrificing your time, you'll sacrifice your soul. 

​I recently took a Saturday night off to see a movie. I was sitting at a Lazy Dog bar sipping on Diet Coke and eating Thai pad noodles watching the "normal" people saying hacky crap to each other, sharing ignorant hot takes, and saying "that's what she said," waaayyy more than anyone should. I texted a few comic buddies sharing my observations. All of them have comedy specials on big platforms. Their response: "I'm scared of being normal." Amen.       

​If there's one thing about traveling the country doing comedy I love outside the actual performing, it's meeting people from the audience members and the waitstaff and venue crews. Everyone has a story, and after getting to share my story on stage, people want to share their story with me. What I find fascinating is when comics just want to shine on stage and then ignore or belittle the staff or ditch the fans by sneaking out the back. Now, if you're Dave Chappelle or Jerry Seinfeld, you can probably sneak out the back, but I hear they treat the staff wonderfully. But considering their fan base might get nuts, I understand. For the road dogs and beginners, there is no excuse when it comes to shaking hands after the show and telling the staff it was a pleasure to work with them. Even if the crowd wasn't the best and the staff didn't cut the crust off your sandwich, you aren't a prima donna and these are human beings. 

This past weekend I met so many wonderful staff members at the Rain Rock Casino and Harvey's Comedy Club, as well as bar tenders and waiters at the restaurants, my weekend was full and rewarding even if I never did a single set. What I realized after talking to the people is they seemed genuinely interested in my life as a comic, and it was implied many comics they met weren't as "generous" with their time. Maybe it's the teacher and extrovert in me, but I always like learning about people and having them ask me questions. It's part of the job in the early stages, and a way to sustain your relationship with a city, and it's the right thing to do. 

It Starts Early in Your Career 
When I started 11 years ago, I still remember sitting at the bar at Flappers, the Ice House, and the Van Nuys Springbok talking to the staff and learning about them. The way I approach it is we are all co-workers together. They work the front and I work the stage. But if they do their job and the drinks and food are served well, my job is easier. And If I'm funny and engage the crowd, the people will come back and tip them again. Being a "human being" is good for your career and the venue. 

I remember the old booker at Flappers, Richie Leis, and my mentor Ken Pringle telling me to stand at the exits and shake hands and talk to fans as they exit the room, whether it was the YooHoo Room or a bar show. I took that to heart, and now that my face and name is on the marque, talking to them is not just a suggestion but a requirement. I know some comics feel awkward and social interaction doesn't come naturally, but you got to find that inner-Bert Kreischer and learn to love meeting the people paying your bills.

So many times, younger comics, when I was starting would bail after their set to hit a mic or hang at The Comedy Store. None of them 10 years later are doing road work or regulars at the Store. Their lack of interacting with fans and staff early on and their career in stalemate is not a coincidence. People want a experience. Even the staff at the comedy shows want an experience - it's why they chose to work there. The experience begins when you show up and ends after everyone has left. You have to fill the time with as much exposure and good vibes as possible. Oh, and tip the staff when they bring you free food or drinks, you animals! 

Answer The Staff's Questions - Even If You Think It's Weird
I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting in a casino greenroom or theater backstage and one of the venue's employees says, "There's always something I've wanted to know about comedians..." and then they ask one of the following questions:

• How do you write your material?
• What's the scariest part about being on stage?
• Do you and the other comic travel everywhere together?
• Is everything off the top of your head?
• If I wanted to start comedy, what should I do? 

And while you might want to get ready or your set, I would highly encourage you to engage fully and vulnerably with the staff, manager, etc. First, because they're a human being and deserve the dignity of being treated as such. Secondly, because you want them to want to help you later when something goes wrong. Sometimes I'll check into the hotel and mention I'm the comedian, and after I answer a few questions, they'll wave a temporary security deposit fee or upgrade me from a queen to king size bed. People love exercising their power, both positively and negatively, so try to be the type of person that encourages others to want to help you. Thirdly, because their tone seems to imply other comics weren't friendly and if you seem approachable, that's a blessing. 

Clearly, there are boundaries you can set, like talking about how your social life is effected or how much money you make, but having a quick and funny response will keep them wanting to stay positive with you too. If they ask how much you make, thinking you're making Seinfeld money, I just like joking, "Thank God the hotel room is comped." That lets them know you aren't a complete open book. People living outside of LA might ask things others in bigger cities would never ask, so you just want to keep the energy positive when they step over the line. 

Meet and Greet Now For When You Meet and Greet For Real Later
I once heard a pastor say "Don't dress for the job you have. Dress for the job you want." The same philosophy applies to interacting with audience members. As soon as the show is over, get out to the exit doors and shake hands and say thank you for coming. And I don't care that you were just an opener or guest set. If you performed, get out there and kiss babies!  

A) It helps the venue by looking like the comics enjoyed their time and will encourage to come back 

B) You get great experience interacting with fans for later when you're selling merch. 

Over the years I've met so many interesting people. Last weekend I met an amazing retired EMT from New York who saved lives on 9/11 and got flown around the country by casinos because of his Player's Card Points. I've met swingers from Wisconsin. I've had teachers tell me it was it was inspiring to see another former teacher on stage. I've had people buy me more sodas (and vodka sodas in my early days) than I can count. 

Comedians have a different relationship with their audience. Actors and singers are elevated to "god" status, but comics are seen as men and women of the people - until you're at Kevin Hart's level. A few weeks ago I wrote about finding inspiration in pro wrestlers from the 1980's and 1990's. If Rowdy Piper and Ric Flair can sign autographs and high five kids, you can talk to a couple from Indiana who goes to one comedy show a year.

Final Thoughts
Comedy isn't just about writing jokes and performing them. It's the part that that we enjoy, but it's the tip of the iceberg. Under the glamour and showmanship there's the marketing, merch, branding, social media, and interaction with venue staff and fans. If you just like getting the laughs, eventually the audience will remember that. In fact, working at Flappers we saw comics sell out one year and the next year would cancel the final shows due to low ticket sales. The correlation was their lack of desire to meet with the fans after. 

You've probably heard that comedy is a conversation. At some point the audience wants to connect on another level. They want to thank you for cheering them up. They want to relate to a story you shared. They want to feel like you and them have more in common than just this evening. Every person has a story. It's our job as we rise though the ranks to hear their story for a few seconds after the show. 

Often after featuring or headlining, a guest or venue staff member would would say, "When are you coming back?" My response: "Let the venue know you'd like to see me come back." I haven't gotten the call yet that I'm not welcomed back. And I will say, there is nothing better than seeing a bartender or a fan once a year that remembered you and said they were looking forward to you coming back.   

​This is part of the job. So enjoy it.

​Most everyone has heard a person say the expression, "read the room!" Whether it was because someone said something dumb, or in the comedy world, a person went too far politically or sexually, they didn't "read the room," and their brand of humor ended up hurting the show. The same people who say this after the fact also say things like "know your audience." That's an expression that I never liked, because no comedian knows their audience. Unless you're doing a charity show for for Veterans For PETA, then I would suggest no anti-military jokes and don't mention you love eating cows. But most shows are blind draws. Your name is called up to the stage and you hit them with a joke - then it's fight or flight. So how do you know how to "read the room" and "know your audience?" 

You can't. But here's a few tricks to help you navigate the set and how to pivot if you feel like you're drowning on stage.

Have An Opening Joke That Sets the Tone
I don't care if you are a new open micer or a solid 20 year+ pro, you need an opening joke that sets the tone for your comedy. I like opening up with either a weight loss joke or when I'm on the road how I couldn't figure out to put chains on my tires in the snow. Both set up the insecurity I have in my identity and let the audience know I'm honest about my faults. These jokes also are a perfect representation of my joke telling skills. Either they laugh and I know they'll respond to my humor or I might have to switch it up and go darker, or even worse - do some crowd work. 

If you're a dirtier comic, then I say do an opening joke that's a PG-13 type and if it gets a pop, then up the ante. But walking out there and doing some freaky sex joke or saying a really dirty phrase or word (like the C word or saying "What's up Fuckers?!") can turn them off the rest of the night. Unless you're performing on a dirty show or these are your fans and they expect it, build up to your highest level of blue humor - don't start there.

Many comics like to riff when they get up on stage, and it helps them feel loose, but unless the previous comic says something that is just a slam dunk to tag or riff on, I like sticking with the tried and true. Too often riffing turns into ramblings and now you have no way to get into your set. 

How To Read Their Political Views 
Sometimes people will see a lot of old or young people and assume their political views because they are trying to "read the room." But that's not fair to them. Old people can like a good dick joke as much as a 25 year old bro. In my NorCal show in Yreka the host/casino manager told us that they started the show very PG and after a few old people complained it wasn't raw enough, they changed the room to soft R. Yes, it was the old people complaining the material wasn't dirty enough. 

When it comes to politics, unless you just like dividing the room because you're a nihilist, I have a few go to set ups that determine the direction I'm going. I do a joke about how my staunch Republican grandma helped me financially when comedy didn't cover all the bills. The joke celebrates her views and makes fun of her being a bit senile. If either part doesn't get a good response, then I know not to go into that territory again. If they applaud her conservative leanings, I know I can make more jokes about Gavin Newsom and how he runs the state. If they like the twist at the end, I can make a few more jokes that poke fun at conservative views. It's an evergreen political jokes that sets parameters for me to navigate. 

George Carlin would make fun of Republicans and Christians a lot, but he also told a lot of jokes about environmentalists and liberal political correctness. He had a fan base that loved it all, but his even distribution of targets is a great way to start. Chris Rock did this too in the 1990's, making fun of fake white people problems but then going after the black community for supporting OJ Simpson. By being fair to both sides, he could just tell all the jokes he wanted instead of feeling trapped by one political view. 

Go Dirty or Clean When It Goes South
As a mostly clean comic, I noticed that a lot of audiences crave a cruder sense of humor. Comedy is a cathartic experience for many, as the crowd sees you as the vessel representing them. Laughter is a sort of involuntary agreement between all involved. Sometimes they just want you to say things they wish they could. They want to hear you talk about sex, drugs, etc. Maybe you don't do that type of humor, and that's fine. But when they don't respond and you get off stage to hear the next comic get a big laugh on an R rated joke, you'll feel even worse. 

That's why if my evergreen clean material doesn't go over, I have what I call "Elevated Blue Humor." These are the jokes I wrote that maintain my swear free brand but deal with raunchier topics. Here are a few dirty jokes that I could say on TV and go over with raunchier crowds:

• My date with an adult film actress
• My "blood flow" conversation with my doctor about sex 
• My $1500 date with a 25 year old about not getting laid 
• My Farmer's Only app joke about not finding any hoes 

All of those jokes are pretty "adult" but I walk a fine line, and they allowed me to elevate from basic sex puns and use my writing skills. 

The same goes for being too dirty. If you want to win them over, you might need to clean it up. If they keep pulling back, then lighten it up. Switch it up and share your more "human" side. I'll never forget when a dirty comic was bombing and then told the crowd, "since you didn't like my set, I'll ruin your night," and she told them how her uncle was a pervert. Your job is not to punish the crowd for not liking you. Your job is to make them laugh. 

Living and Dying By Crowd Work
One time my feature act bombed really bad and I had an hour after him on stage. I tried to do my usual opening jokes and they weren't having it. With 55 minutes left on stage, I decided to go bold and just do crowd work the rest of the time. Literally creating comedy gold out of dry straw. It worked, but it was exhausting, and like a high wire act, I knew I could fall at anytime. In fact, a few times I weaved in my bits to no response, only to return to crowd work.

You see, some audiences don't want you to talk about yourself or stuff - they want you to talk about them. Blame TikTok crowd work clips, blame social media's goal to have you post YOUR life as if it's a TV show for others, or blame the modern audience's lack of intelligence in general shared experiences. But some crowds just want to be the star, and crowd work does that. If they don't laugh at jokes, I've learned they tend to laugh at jokes about them.               

The weirdest part is they might not know that. They just sit in silence and you have to read them and adjust. I was once terrified by crowd work, but now it's my favorite 5-10 minutes, as I get to challenge myself. And if you enjoy that rush, I suggest you practice 1-2 minutes in a 5 minute set, 2-3 minutes in a 10 minute set, and 5-10 in a 20+ minute set. 

Final Thoughts  
Trying to figure out the crowd is part of the job of a comedian. "Reading the room" just means trying jokes and seeing what they respond to as you go. "Knowing your audience" is just being smart and not doubling down on topics they clearly didn't like earlier in the night. Sometimes I'll watch a comic before me and see how the crowd responds to their material, but if everything is just local jokes about the city council, and they kill, then I've learned nothing. One time a local comic in Arizona made a joke in Tucson about parking under a tree branch and the place erupted into laughter. I learned nothing in that moment, but sometimes I'll see a comic do very liberal or conservative jokes, and the crowd goes silent. That helps me read the room. 

This whole comedy thing is trial and error, and you never get to do the same show twice. Every night it's a new crowd, but if you are paying attention to the responses, you can make adjustments. Sometimes they are laughers and it's easy. But sometimes they're locked in but not the rowdy kind. It sounds like you bombed, but after the show they all want to buy a t-shirt. I call those crowds polite smilers. Go figure. But like a good captain steering the ship, just set your sails to the wind of the crowd, and you'll be fine. 

​Or you won't win them over. And in that case - just dust off your shoes, call it a learning experience, and head off to the next show. You know, like a professional comic does.    

If there's one thing I love, for both entertainment and nostalgic reasons, it's 1980's and 1990's professional wrestling. I'd like to think somewhere in a multiverse I was a professional wrestling booker and heel (bad guy)  throwing sand in the eyes of a baby face (good guy) and being escorted by security to my car just in case some rednecks try to slash my tires before I can get out of Dodge.
From 1988 to 2001, I watched WWF and WCW wrestling religiously. I was more of a WWF fan, idolizing Rowdy Roddy Piper, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, and The Bushwhackers. But after reading pro wrestling magazines, I realized Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes were the real draws when you went into the South (Texas, North Carolina, etc.). There's a real "Americana" to the industry then. Pro Wrestling is the McDonalds of entertainment. It was the most popular form of junk food athletic displays. But it was more than that. Classic architypes of good v. evil played at the heart of it all. Grown men trying to redeem the damage done by evil men.

And as I rewatch old matches and interviews 30 and 40 years ago, I'm seeing the influence it had on me in my personality traits and stand up comedy. I've come to realize that my comedy pursuits are really just my best attempt to live the life of a professional wrestler - a life I never could have had, but still provides me with the same reward and template for the overwhelming joy of performing.

The Similarities Between Comedy and Professional Wrestling 
The life of a comic and a professional wrestler are eerily similar. A life on the road, traveling from city to city performing 10, 20, 30, and 60 minutes at a time.

• Both have a booker deciding the lineups.
• Both are 1099 Independent Contractor jobs.
• Both require a lot of reps to master the techniques required to perform night after night.
• Both have a finishing move aka closing bit.
• Both require a lot of individual promoting.         
• Both are male dominated with only recently bringing women into the fold.
• Both have reaginal and international stars. 
• Both have a lot of drugs and alcohol attached to the daily routine.
• Both have a Vice series called "The Dark Side Of..."
• Both have no retirement plan, letting aging stars still perform as needed to keep them employed. 
• Both have "real life" and "gimmick" characters. 
• Both require a response or "pop" from the crowd to navigate a match or set. 
• Both bring a smile to a person's face when done correctly.

But what truly connects them is a platform for grown men and women to showcase a joy of performance. Whether you are a brand new open micer or a seasoned vet, the joy of performance has to be visible on stage for the audience to connect. Too often comics are stuck in the persona or too rigid in the wording, in an attempt to get it perfect, only to miss connecting with the audience. A great comic and a great wrestler both listen to the crowd and play to them the best they can. 

Both Wrestling and Comedy Require Finding Your Voice  
Whenever I watch pro wrestling promos (interviews or 30 second speeches before the match), I can see the great performers had a distinct voice. Whether it was Hulk Hogan's emphasis on 1980's American values, Ric Flair's playboy, Dusty Rhodes and his "everyman" American Dream persona, Jake "The Snake" Roberts nihilism, or Bobby "The Brain" Heenan's over the top common sense stupidity, each wrestler or manager had a clear point of view. You see this with Jim Gaffigan's lazy dad, Ray Romano's tired husband, Kevin Hart's endless energy, Chris Rock's preacher persona, or Taylor Tomlinson's snarky sarcasm.  

Now, comedy has a more hyper realism approach attached to the performer, but you can't watch sketches with Trevor Wallace or a podcast with Theo Von and not see a sort of professional wrestling wink in their eye when they play up their personalities. Their point of view is clear, and the comedy attracts people who share those ethos and values. You might not like Joe Rogan or Bert Kreischer, but their fans see themselves in them or desire to be like them. 

There's a strong reason Andy Kaufman was drawn to pro wrestling, battling Memphis's greatest son Jerry Lawler in the ring and on Letterman. Kaufman saw that wrestling let's a person "pretend," but through a platform that lets them be antagonistic, in a way comedy does. You can't tell me Bill Burr and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin aren't doing the same "stick it to the man" routine. 

There's also a strong accent of vulnerability in both arts. Telling jokes and running out to the center of a stadium in a speedo both require a lot of bravery. Just like a comic needs every joke to land, a wrestler needs every move to look believable. I've been watching old Wrestlemanias  and Vice's The Dark Side of the Ring episodes, and after watching the interviews and numerous times a wrestler had to lose in front of thousands requires a vulnerability maybe only a comedian can understand. Yes, wrestling is a "rigged" show; it's not the same as the NBA season, but the abuse on the body is just as real as any pro athlete. Comics deal more with the emotional abuse, but both lead to long nights on the road or in hotels rethinking the performance from that night's show. 

Final Thoughts 
Some of you might disregard these observations because wrestling is "rigged." But it's not fake. People get hurt. And the emotional stakes are real. It's a traveling circus. A magic show making you believe that men aren't mortal, that Hulkamania can overcome anything, and that someone can survive a chair smashed over their head. But stand up comedy is a magic show too. A series of jokes that make you think something that happened 10 years ago actually happened last week. Comedy makes you laugh at things a workplace would call bullying. Comedy is a traveling circus show as well. The truth is, wrestlers took cues from comics and pastors to develop their larger than life characters, and if we look back at them we can learn how to emotionally connect to audiences the way they did. Calling wrestling fake is like when your family member says "put that in your little skit."

Ask yourself this question: Have you ever made 93,000 people cheer? Well, those great performer athletes did. And they did it with a smile and wink. When I was in high school as a wrestler I would pretend to be Rowdy Roddy Piper as a way to draw strength and charisma. And the beauty of pro wrestling then was even if they lost the battle, they still found a way to win the war. So after a tough loss, I would carry that attitude onward, if only to protect my fragile ego. Just like Piper would. 

​Whether it was Ric Flair's "Woooooo!" or Rowdy Piper's "Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions" or Bobby "The Brain" Heenan hitting below the belt in a promo, these men are shining examples of committing to the bit and demonstrating the joy of performance. The late great wrestler Gorilla Monsoon once said the purpose of pro wrestling was to have fun and make a lot of money. And if we're honest, didn't we get into comedy for the same reason? So why not learn from the masters of that craft to perfect ours? 

After a two week hiatus, I'm back to writing. Sorry. Life got in the way. April was a wild, wild month filled with numerous changes and social commitments. In fact, I'll only be getting up 3 times this month to perform comedy. I'm pretty sure this is the least amount of times I've gotten up since my first month, which was in August eleven years ago. But sometimes the time just doesn't time and the math doesn't math. This month, I started a new sales job in the fitness industry to fix my healthcare fiasco that was about to happen, did a weekend in Reno for a teacher themed theater comedy show, filmed an 8 episode web series (Too Hot 2 Sing), and I was a groomsman in a wedding for my good friends Nick Wuthrich and the now Katie Wuthrich. Many talk about the work-life balance in corporate life, but that doesn't really exist in the world of comedy. Either you are getting up on stage daily sharing your humor with strangers or you're out and about sharing life with the people in your life. That's what separates the obsessed from those who feel content in their daily lives, and many times separates the successful from the hobbyist. So let's talk about Work-Life Balance today.
​
Work-Life Balance In the Arts Doesn't Pay the Bills
In most corporate or regular jobs, people work 5 days a week for X amount of dollars with their hours chosen for them by the boss or the needs of the company. Some weeks are more productive than others, but the pay remains roughly the same. For working comics, it's an every day grind of finding gigs, emailing for gigs, and booking gigs. Some days you take off to travel to shows or write spec scripts for freelance work, but if you're not getting up weekly, and mostly weekends, you'll starve.

There's no "sick pay" or PTO or overtime pay. There's no HR to make sure you didn't work over 8 hours or that you got a ten minute break or you ate or at least took your lunch break. This type of unstructured blob of an existence is not for everyone. Your landlord doesn't care if your weekend in Arizona got canceled, and there's no unemployment to collect if you don't get a gig for a few months. If I hadn't taken the sales job in early April, I would have only made $1500 this month in comedy because I took time off to help friends and celebrate their lives.

Last year I performed in 200 shows, not just because I wanted to but because I had to. Every $50 gig on a Tuesday night pays for something after the $1,000 gigs cover the bigger bills. Usually, a free meal comes with the trip, so it's like getting an extra $50, and if I can rebook with the booker for another gig, I might make another $100 down the road. This is not a balanced life. One reason I see so many movies is that when I get into a town early to avoid traffic, I can jump into the local AMC theater since I pay $23/month to see 12 movies a month. It's all "moneyball" with my time and income. If you're not built for that, it's not fun. I enjoy the chaos, but sometimes my social life and bank account don't. 

Work-Life Balance is a Corporate Phrase - Not a Reality 
I once was a high school teacher, and I would say I figured out a solid balance in life before stand up. I would teach from 8am - 3:30pm, then I'd coach wrestling at El Camino Real High School. I'd spend my Saturdays coaching and my Sundays volunteering at my church. I even taught once night a week at a small college. I dated on Friday's and Sunday nights. YET, while I thought I had a great work-life balance, I also drank like a fish and gained nearly 100 pounds and had a terrible diabetic attack in 2015. By ignoring my personal well-being, my body suffered. But was I supposed to miss a weekend tournament or not volunteer at church? Looking back...yes. 

I got my act together, only to find stand up comedy, and after losing nearly 50 pounds, I once again fell into similar traps. Now I would teach during the day and then rush out to LA at night to open mics and repeat that formula during the week. But in reality, there was no balance again. I had no dating life. I barely saw family. I resented my school when they asked me to attend functions instead of taking gigs. Yes, I was paid fairly and had benefits, but I wanted to do this other cool thing. So instead of relaxing in my time off, I was just working another 40 hours. And no man can serve two masters.  
To be blunt, the phrase "Work-Life Balance" isn't real. It isn't real unless you work 20 hours a week or have a job with flexible hours or you're in some management that requires little work. 

Work-Life Balance doesn't exist when you're starting out in comedy and grinding. It doesn't exist when you're breaking through making peanuts, driving hundreds of miles. It doesn't exist when you get successful and are on the road weekly. The only time I've had Work-Life Balance was when I was 16 years old working two days a week at the movie theater, taking easy senior year classes, and spending weekends with my buddies. I also had no real bills or responsibilities. The balance only comes if someone else is paying your bills while you float freely. From 22 years old until today, every bill I have, I have to figure out, and finding balance in between is a fairy tale the American system invented.

They say there are 24 hours in a day, but I still don't believe it. 

Sacrifice Becomes the Name of the Game 
I write all that to help you (and me) understand that sacrifice is the name of the game. Either you sacrifice your time with friends, family, and self-care or you sacrifice your comedy gigs. Either you're driving or flying to a gig on the weekends or you're camping with your family or watching the game with your friends. You can't do both and make a living of this industry. 

Now, this doesn't apply to the comics who like getting up 4-5 times a month. They have their work life, and they fit in comedy as they can. Which anyone who knows me knows I've said that's a wonderful way to go about it. But for those of us who really want this as a full time job, it's a nonstop grind of travel and networking. You have to make X amount of money and hope you can repeat that monthly. And it's not a guarantee you'll always just make money in comedy. 

Many comics I know who went full time found themselves back in the office within a year. And many eventually quit or faced health issues because they dedicated themselves to comedy.  

I've talked to a lot of comics who sacrificed a lot to get to a place in standup where they finally could cover the bills. Yet, many of them told me they've sacrificed marriages, relationships, finances, their credit score, other opportunities, their health, etc. Many comics sacrificed their health, dying young and many sacrificed their mental health dying even more tragically. 

The irony is the passion they put forward to succeed is the passion that fueled their early exist from this planet. 

Too often we romanticize the starving artist. We speak highly of those who died young. We call them the GOAT and celebrate their work or influence. Like gladiators yelling "Are you not entertained?!" before being eaten by the lions. What does it benefit a person if they inherit the world but lose their soul?  

The Scariest Story I Ever Heard  
Here's an example of what I'm talking about. I'll never forget the story of a young woman at her father's funeral who told a group of men she blamed them for the death of her dad. 

Back in my wrestling days a ref died and a few coaches went to the funeral. It was reported to me that the entire group attending were a small group of coaches and others refs. The deceased man's daughter gave the eulogy and said "I never saw my father because he was ALWAYS WITH YOU PEOPLE!" and she sat down. 

That ref made a sacrifice, and I'll let you decide if it was the right one.

Don't Worry About the Validation From Others  
So if you find yourself struggling to make comedy, your health, yourself, and the people in your life happy, you're not alone. Most "things" in your life want your full attention. Your boss wants your creativity and energy. Your family wants your time and love. Your friends want your humor and your advice. And the stage demands all of that as well. You are only human, so you can't give it all to everyone. You can feed the world, but at some point you have to eat too. 

There are a lot of comics on Facebook who joke about other comics having "crappy" gigs. Many of them "made it" in comedy but they struggle in the things the rest of America wants in life. In their attempt to "make it," they didn't build a family. They have a house but not a home. They made their choice and have to put down the "life" accomplishments of others to validate their choices. While all done in a humorous way, it still creates a roast battle environment that many feel uncomfortable in.  
This is why every Hollywood movie about the workaholic ends with the dad quitting their job and hugging their family or the single woman marrying her high school crush who owns a coffee shop. Hollywood writers are just creating the fantasy they wish they could live in real time.

Create a Schedule and Protect It
While I'm far from perfect, I can tell you, if you struggle with the Work-Life Balance equation, try your best to create a schedule that you can follow. I once had a young female comic tell me she was dating a new guy and wondered if she should cancel a few gigs to make time for him. My advice was do the gigs. Because she wasn't thinking about quitting comedy and he needed to see if he was okay sharing his free time with her comedy goals. They're still together. Had she worked her schedule around him, I don't doubt she'd resent him for making her feel like she had to quit.

As you grow as a comic, some people will just stop fitting in. And that's okay too. Creating boundaries and doing what's best for you, your mental and physical health, and finances has to come first, because an exhausted, broke, stretched out version of you is no good to anyone. The schedule can change as needed, but you should always make room for the things that are important. Whether that's gym time, writing time, family time, friend time, or just rest time. And if other people's schedules don't line up, then there might just be a universal principal at work. 
Sometimes hard things don't happen to you...they happen for you.  

Final Thoughts 
So as you try to balance everything, remember that Work-Life Balance is a myth. When you're working, someone might need you, and you can't be be there. And when you carve out time for them, they're busy. In the end, you just have to pick the poisons as they come and be content in what you choose. I might not be thrilled with having to work a day job again, but I picked the best one for me all things considered. I still have road gigs and corporate gigs lined up, but my energy will be different as I have to spread it around. 

What I do know is that nothing is permanent. I'm just one great deal away from selling a show or getting different representation. But I also know that having this new job afforded me the ability to have a wonderful month meeting new people and spending time with old friends. And when I'm old and gone, no one I performed for will be at my funeral, but the people I sacrificed comedy for will be. And that is a comforting thought.  

Now if you excuse me, I have to go get ready for a doctor's appointment - paid for by the job that's taking away my time from standup. But I'm okay with it, because I'd rather be alive sharing my thoughts with you than dead in the middle of Reno after making $600. 

Here's a few pics from my April adventures!