Often in comedy, after you've been performing for a few months, you start hearing the word "gatekeepers" pop up. Performers will tell you about how this comic or booker or club owner isn't booking them. They'll talk about how they didn't pass an audition or get rebooked because the person in power is having a power trip or "likes what they like." While gatekeepers can be frustrating, they are a normal part of any business, and the funny thing about gatekeepers is that they only have power over you if want to play their venues. So here's a few thoughts and suggestions when the gatekeepers be gatekeeping. 

What is the Definition of a Gatekeeper? 
A pure definition of a gatekeeper is someone with power to book or not book you based on their influence or position at a comedy club or venue. They determine the time allotted, the pay, and the amount of bookings you can get. They tend to have specific requirements that are clearly laid out or arbitrary ones depending on our point of view. Sometimes it's a booker who has to watch your tape or see you live before booking you. Sometimes it's the club owner who has to pass you to regular status. Sometimes it's a popular comic at the venue who tells the owners who to pass. Sometimes it's the booker of a TV show, or it might be their assistant who filters the names up the ladder. 

This is different than a kingmaker. The booker of The Tonight Show was the gatekeeper. If Johnny Carson liked you, then he became your kingmaker. A booker who decides if you should host for a big name comic is a gatekeeper. A headliner who asks you to join them on the road is a kingmaker. I felt I should clarify this before you start thinking the wrong people are holding you back. 

If They Say No, Just Go Look Elsewhere 
As comics are starting out, there are usually two types of clubs. The big ones and the bringer ones. While major clubs run bringer shows, those are isolated from the brand of the club. Yet, the B and C clubs will run bringers where the bringing either effects getting up the night of the show (bring 5 or you're bumped) or future bookings (didn't bring? Hmmmmm). Either way, that's a form of gatekeeping that can become discouraging. But remember, no one ever got discovered at those clubs. Maybe a few contacts are made, but generally, no one ever did a 5 minute showcase set and then become a series regular on a show. 

If you find your ability to get friends out has completely diminished, then there's your sign that the 5 minute spot clubs aren't your playground anymore. Here's the funny thing about that. If you stop looking for 5 minute spots you'll start finding better spots. The "cockroach clubs" are the bottom feeders. They make you feel like you're "doing comedy" but in reality, seeking their validation always feels empty later when you realize you didn't really make headway with the booker.

This year I have had unparalleled booking success, and it's because the last two years I've stopped focusing on the clubs that don't pay and require my friends to spend a lot. This year I will have at least one paid gig a week, and over 200 paid spots for the year. Because I stopped worrying about the gatekeepers and started focusing on the places that needed me. Stop looking at the small clubs and start looking at the paying venues. Your act should be making YOU money, not JUST the booker!    
When They Say No, Don't Go Low 
I'm going to keep this short. If a club or venue says no, just know it's for right now. Two years ago I asked to feature at a club and got a snippy email about how I'm just an opener. Today I'm co-headlining there. Same booker. Same venue. Things change. So don't trash them online or in an email back. People change. You. Me. Bookers. Gatekeepers. It's just part of the ethos of the business.  

Credit Requirements Are Just What They Use To Say No 
Here's something no one will tell you. Whenever a booker says, "get a TV credit" or "get passed at a big club and we'll talk" or "get more followers," they are just saying that as a nice way to not book you. The truth is, there are tons of comics with little to no TV or social media presence who are getting booked. The credits requirement is just a gatekeeping trick. I know this as in my first year I was told to go get a credit to feature. By 2017 I had a Dry Bar Special and Laughs on Fox credit, plus I already had a few Nickelodeon credits. Those same bookers said, "Go get a late night set." 

What I learned in that moment is that bookers use the credit game as a way to say no without saying no. I figured that out, but sadly many don't and then become really upset when their AGT or Conan set didn't transform their career. I know comics with Netflix and network TV credits who struggle for opening and showcasing gigs, and they are very funny. They just aren't what those bookers want. So don't rely too much on those credits.

You Aren't Entitled to Anything 
Maybe the best attitude to have is to not feel entitled to anything. Many gatekeepers like confidence, but they hate entitlement. Ironically, gatekeepers feel entitled to set boundaries without push back, but in the end, they have the keys and you don't.  

I know it sucks when the venue you worked so hard to impress doesn't move you up the food chain. Especially when you see others getting opportunities after much less time. Yet, there were probably opportunities you got that others were jealous of too. The trick is to have a mindset that most relationships are cyclical. You get your shot and either it moves you up or not. There's no way to know if it's the start of something bigger or just a resume builder for someone else to be impressed with. 

One trick in finding out if you have a legitimate future with a club is to ask the booker what they need from you to get to the next levels. If they brush you off with a "just keep emailing me" you might want to start looking elsewhere. But if they tell you they need you to sharpen you hosting skills or build a solid thirty so they can give you a closing spot, then you know they want to move forward. 

Starting Your Own Show Is A Workaround 
I understand you want the clubs and bookers to "choose you." But that cannot be the only way to succeed. From Steve Martin in the 1970's to Don't Tell Comedy today, the independent producer scene has always been a viable way to build. Trading shows with other producers and creating a comedy community where your show is needed is a key to working around gatekeepers. This will do two very important things:

1. You will have a place to book comics and try new material. 

2. You will finally see things from a gatekeeper point of view. 

Often, comics say "that guy/club should be doing it this way..." and then they run a show and find out there's a lot more to the process. Producers have venue owners giving them flack about attendance or the quality of the comedy. I once ran a room where the venue owner asked "Can we get Dave Chapelle?" No, Craig. No we can't. 

But you will also see how the booking process works. You'll have raw comics send the worst tapes EVER. Tapes where the comic doesn't have a working mic, the quality is so bad you aren't sure if they're on stage or not, and even worse - they're reading jokes off their notepads at an open mic with no people there. Soon, you'll get why the bookers ignore so many requests. I don't excuse ignoring, but I get it. 

Final Thoughts 
When dealing with a gatekeeper, there are a lot of factors to think about. Are you the right comic at the right time? Do they seem interested in taking credit for you later? Are they expecting the comics to bring a crowd or are they taking on the marketing responsibilities? While you might feel you earned a better spot or just a spot at all, remember there are a ton of comics going for the same spot. 

This is where waiting and luck play a part. Sometimes you're just waiting for opportunity to strike. A year ago they never would have thought of you, but then someone mentioned you and they decide to give you a shot. The only way you don't get that shot is if you quit. I was recently carpooling with a comic and we found out I was headlining a venue he couldn't get into and he was headlining a venue I was opening at still. There's not a comedy HR or merit system to move you up. There are no more Mitzi Shore's or Bud Friedman's. There's a lot of hard working bookers trying to find the next Dane Cook while still booking Dane Cook. 

​There's also a lot of emotionally stunted producers who treat you like a second class citizen. But you don't have to kowtow to them. Just keep looking around and find places that need you. Because if there's one thing a gatekeeper hates more than a needy comic is a comic who no longer needs them. Trust me. Sometimes ignoring them for a while can get them wondering what's going on with you.   

​Very often people talk about how working harder will bring them to the point they desire in the workplace or career. That's not actually true. Plenty of nepo-baby, lazy, whiney, entitled brats have made a fortune off the backs of others who actually did work hard - for them. Do you really think Donald Trump outworked Hillary Clinton? Do you really think these top podcasting comics "outworked" Gary Gulman in stand up comedy? Are you going to tell me Andrew Tate even works harder than your dad? No.

The world is filled with WTF's who make it over more impressive talents. Unrefined, lucky bastards who stumble into success and gain fame by association or blind luck. It's why so many artists and sport stars feel so empty. Deep down, many know they don't "deserve" it, and they see all the people they came up with never catch the same breaks. The tragedy is they can't really admit it, because part of the American ethos is that you get what you earned. Which is what lucky people say to unlucky people. 

The funny thing about luck, is it can change and go both ways. I think we can all think of the comics and actors who had a great four to five year run, and now they can barely fill a 200 seat theater or open a movie to save their life. They become novelty acts. Cautionary tales. And maybe they can be a guest on a hit TV show in a form of stunt casting. But they also become a punchline. 

Yet, the one thing that propelled them into the stratosphere of success is they are on the same wavelength of the American people at the moment they made it. They figured out what people in that moment want to see. Some, like Andrew Dice Clay or Sam Kinison, can run hard for a short term, while others like Adam Sandler have their finger on the pulse for 30+ years. As people are fickle pickles, and tastes change, the truly popular people evolve with their fans and use their talent to maintain their popularity. But for a moment they had their finger on the pulse of society. 

So if you are feeling like you just aren't making it at the level you know you could be, I would challenge that you don't lack talent or skill, but instead you simply aren't on the wavelength as the buying public...yet.

The Pursuit of Success Without Success is Tragedy 
In Arthur Miller's brilliant essay "Tragedy and the Common Man," he argues that modern tragedy is not Prince Hamlet losing the throne, but a middle-class person seeing their "rightful place in the world" taken from them. They toil and fight, only to have outside forces knock them down.   

"The possibility of victory must be there in tragedy. Where pathos rules, where pathos is finally derived, a character has fought a battle he could not possibly have won. The pathetic is achieved when the protagonist is, by virtue of his witlessness, his insensitivity, or the very air he gives off, incapable of grappling with a much superior force."​

Miller wrote Death of a Salesman with this thought in mind. Sure, you can get up twice a night, hit every open mic, email every booker, and sacrifice relationships and jobs, because you see the potential of a career in the arts, yet in the end, the tragedy is that if you aren't what people want, you just aren't going to make it. Or you won't last long, if at all.

So one comic's bit of taking his shirt off goes viral and your well crafted jokes about workplace politics fall on deaf ears. And a pretty boy's crowd work clips get shared by your family, but your clips die in the algorithm at 200 views. It's not fair. Those are examples of people making it, who even they acknowledge are the product of luck. Yes, they got up on stage a lot, but I can point to a hundred open micers 10 years in who got up more than them.   

But the element of "luck" or "right place right time" is a hard truth that hard work will not overcome. You can't work so hard that you write a joke as on brand as taking your shirt off. You can't teach dimples and sex appeal. They tapped into what people want. It's that simple. It's just that isn't always what people wanted, and when you tried to be something different, they were cashing checks being whatever it is they are. 

For the comics that get more respect from Twitter and peers, even their talent or hard work isn't the main reason they made it. They were authentically themselves, and like any relationship it either lasts a few years or a lifetime.  

Being on the right wavelength of the American people is what we call "The It Factor." And you can't out work that. You can't be as non-threating as Trevor Wallace. You'll never be as striking to look at as Whitney Cummings. You're just not as likable as Patton Oswald is or Ellen was. They caught the wavelength of what people wanted, rode it, and because they have talent, they're soaring in multiple ways. Yes, they will say they worked hard, but that's just a sliver of the reason for success. 

In fact, in an existential way, saying "I earned this" or "I worked for this" is offensive to all the equally hard working comics who haven't or didn't. Yes, they worked hard, but they also caught a moment and a connection with audiences.

It is the struggle artists face. The desire to become famous, yet plagued by a lack of connection with audiences. Sure you connect in person, but how many "fans" did you really convert into your camp? 
There's a lot of reasons why you may or may not be on the right wavelength. One ironic positive spin is you could just be ahead of your time.  

As Vincent van Gogh is quoted in the film "At Eternity's Gate" while in a mental institution: "Maybe God made me a painter for people who aren't born yet." He died broke. His work today is worth millions. Same with Herman Melville, who died trying to find that great white whale, metaphorically speaking. Their work was not on the wavelength of the public at the time, yet as tastes and values change, their works became the standard barriers.

Wavelengths is Why We Have "Cancel Culture" Victims 
Meanwhile, while some artists are discovered too late, others are "canceled" after the fact. As we watch old jokes by Kevin Hart, Eddie Murphy, Jerry Seinfeld, and others get reevaluated, this is simply a reflection of wavelengths changing. Gay jokes were all the rage once, but today not so much. Which is why it's unfair to judge a person's work from over a decade ago. Times change. Society changes. The Wavelengths alter. They were able to pivot, but many don't, and they suffer because of it. 

Heck, even the most successful, long lasting comic on the scene, Adam Sandler, has changed his comedic sensibilities. The crossdressing jokes in Billy Madison are not the family friendly jokes in Grown Ups. He adapted and "grew up" with his fans. From Big Daddy to being a dad, he figured out how to maintain his Midas touch. Pauley Shore, Andrew Dice Clay, and Rob Schneider did not. It is this gift Sandler possesses that keeps his career at the top. While not a critical darling, he is beloved by millennials and Gen X, and that is the most important part of why he made his fortune. Twenty box office hits later, and Netflix's top comedy producer, I think he's proven he's the master at connecting with new and old fans alike.  

How Do You Get On the Wavelength? 
This is the million dollar question isn't it? A lot is "hard work" in the sense you have to throw a lot of content out there and try a lot of jokes. But in the end, it's luck. Serendipity is another word. I'm sure Tony Hinchcliffe never thought a podcast making fun of open micers would go beyond The Comedy Store walls. Jim Gaffigan was doing "okay" until jokes about Hot Pockets broke into the zeitgeist. Robin Williams was a high energy comic whose sitcom Mork & Mindy became a hit no one saw coming. Judd Apatow had one failure after another until The 40 Year Old Virgin became the surprise hit of 2005. It's just a matter of how long will you keep going until you tap into the culture wavelength. 

Examples of the Wavelength Changing 
Right now I can say that sophisticated women comedy is on the rise and man child buffoonery is all the rage. The Rogan effect is what ushered in a very male centric group of silly boys just farting into the mic. Dads with beers in one hand and their kid's hand in the other. The frat boy mentality is not the 1990's sophistication of George Carlin and Chris Rock. Maybe today's video-game obsessed, red-pill consuming males don't want political or social commentary masked in stand up like my generation did. This sort of Andrew Dice Clay 2.0 might end soon, and maybe new voices will rise. But time will tell what that next wavelength will bring forth.  

Here's an example of the plight of women comics. Today, women comics are a more traditionally attractive group, compared to the 1980's and 90's Rosie O'Donnell and Paula Poundstone stars thirty and forty years ago. And the point of views that are strongest seem to be calling women out in ways past women didn't. 

As Whitney Cummings and Nikki Glaser sort of defend men's confusion in life, they do it with a much higher verbal IQ than their male counterpoints. In fact, Nikki Glaser was so on point at the Tom Brady Roast, one bro comic called out Hinchcliffe for putting her before their bro Andrew Schultz, claiming the Kill Tony host should have been thinking about his bro first. Of course, Hinchcliffe did nothing of the sort, but it is interesting that conversation sort of showed how moments in the sun are more manufactured than simply created. 

Final Thoughts
Art serves two purposes. One, to create something for the public to enjoy, and Two, for the artist to feel fulfilled. Not always do the two crossroads meet. Sometimes the artist feels rewarded by their attempt while the audience appears indifferent, and then the artist is empty inside by their contribution while the crowd is filled.  

So if you keep wondering what you have to do to get that break, move to that next level, or become famous, keep in mind it will take your humor and act synergizing with a mass group of people willing to pay. And that is really hard. Part of the struggle is knowing how to zig and zag as trends change, but also being at the forefront of creating those zigs and zags. So as you are developing an act, a script, a sketch, etc. just know that if something clicks, stick with that.

​Or you can try try to change the tastes of the country, but that might be a bit trickier. 

​Recently, I announced that if you had a question, if you Venmo'd @themoomabides $25 I would answer it. I was getting so many questions, I decided this was the best way to manage the desire for more knowledge. Most questions are pretty quick, but every once in a while I get a question that has a few more nuances than a simple yes or no. This week's question falls into my theme of discussing the plight of comics navigating full time work and festivals. So I decided to use this question to springboard a few thoughts on how to maximize your opportunities at the festivals you do decide to attend. This question comes from "Justin." 

If you were doing a comedy festival, and your goal was to make Best of the Fest, what would your approach be? Would you build your funniest five minutes or your most memorable five minutes?

This is a great question because it hits a lot of different subjects within one major subject. As I said in previous articles, "Festivals are scams until they aren't." What I mean by that is that if you gain something from the festival, then it was worth it. If you feel like it's a cattle call with no true way to showcase, then it wasn't worth it, and it's a scam for you. This mindset will help you distinguish between what you should be focusing on and what you should be ignoring.

First the "Don't's" 
Let's say you get into a legitimate festival, you may want to give serious consideration to the type of material you want to showcase. Why pay all that money and travel to flop around on stage? Here are a few "Don't's" before we get into the "Do's."

• Don't do crowd work
• Don't do local jokes 
• Don't do time sensitive jokes
• Don't do extra blue material 

If your five minute set is focused on making fun of the guy in the front row, commenting on the local gas prices, mocking this week's political gaffe, and doing jokes you can't take anywhere but clubs, you'll lose opportunities as an unknown comic on the rise. If you are an established comic known for "hot takes," then go with what's been taking you to the dances. For the rest of us, we need to earn the right to say dirty jokes out of the bag.

The Industry At Festivals Dictates Your Destiny 
Too often we think the funniest jokes are the best to run with, which in theory is best. But sometimes giving the crowd insight into your life as a (fill in the blank) can be what separates you from the rest. Yet, I've seen fully original acts get ignored when "Best of the Fest" comics are announced because they took too long getting to the funny. A tragic story about near death experiences and relationships might be great closers, yet they don't pass the laughs per seconds test in a five minute festival set. But the real reason some comics make the Best of Fests is not because of the material, but what the industry needs at that festival. 

Some festivals like Burbank have a lot of commercial agents and managers looking to beef up their client lists. Some festivals like Big Pine and Big Sky bring out late night bookers to book their world-famous shows. Those are two different sets of industry. We might all agree COMIC A is funny, but unless he can sell products, the Burbank industry aren't as interested. Meanwhile, there are great comics whose act is too "alt" to make TV, so they aren't a great fit at Big Pine or Big Sky. Both festivals specifically let comics know the industry is looking at a more PG-13 vibe for TV. 

So if you fit what the guest judges want, then you are more likely to make it into the Best of the Fest. 

Geography Plays a Part 
If there's one thing you can't control is where you were born. But if you were born out of Los Angeles or New York City, run with that as often as possible. The world is filled with Los Angeles babies trying to make it. But I've heard from showrunners and bookers that everyone wants to give an out-of-towner a shot. This plays a part in selecting the Best of the Fest winners as well. 

Let's say you're running a comedy festival. While profitability is important, so is building relationships with local hotels to sell rooms and get potential sponsorship money from the city. Often, smaller festivals will make deals with restaurants and hotels to host shows in exchange for money. The Burbank Festival has received funds from the city to buy equipment and marketing materials for shows, but they have to prove the city (local businesses) will be financially rewarded. 

It is this political side of hosting a festival that inspires bookers and producers to select out of town people for The Best of the Fest. They hope these comics will go back home and tell their local scene that they had a great time, and those comics will submit next year and get a hotel and the circle of festival life continues.     

In the End Being Funny is Still Key 
While there are a lot of reasons comics are selected for Best of the Fests, which seem to be more and more popular today, at the end of the festival you want people to see you as funny. Not just "nice" or "professional," but clearly a future headliner with potential in TV or movies. So when you are putting together your best five minutes to showcase, make sure your opening joke clearly identifies where your point of view is coming from, but then lay it on hard. Jokes. Jokes. Jokes. Tag after tag after tag. 

While that story you love might be more "memorable," does it have a punchline every 20 seconds? If not, then save it for when you're featuring or headlining and show off your ability to keep the laughs coming. 

Final Thoughts
Comedy is full of gatekeepers. Bookers, producers, and other comics who dictate how comics move up and down the comedy ladder. You have very little control over them and their opinions of you. So all you can do is take the opportunities and showcase your sharpest writing. Because even if you bomb but look like a dad in a Best Buy ad, the commercial and acting agents will still pick you. But if you kill it and look like a dad in a Best Buy ad, then the TV Executives will want to discuss your future along with the other industry members. 

​We put a lot of pressure on comics to "stay on brand." And while branding does include "being a dad" or "the nerdy tech girl" or "the hip grandma," branding is also the type of consistency you bring to the stage every time. And if you can keep them laughing, there will always be a place for you, even if it's not the Best of the Fest. Because being the Best of the Rest is really the goal.     

Last week a funny thing happened on the day of a big comedy festival releasing the names of the accepted comics - they accidently sent the rejection letters to comics who didn't apply and left those who did apply in the dark. Their announcement was posted on Facebook and Instagram, with a flyer listing comics who got in, and the font size of the names was so small, I had a few comics ask me to review the list of names to make sure they didn't miss their name. I was one of those rejected comics, which is fine, but I didn't get the rejection letter, so I emailed them letting them know it feels suspicious how the wrong emails went out, and I want to make sure my video submission was viewed. They emailed me back, claiming they watched it. I now feel like I threw away $35 and grew a minor 24 hour bitterness chip on my shoulder. Many of you probably have felt this too concerning festivals, so I'm going to give a few thoughts based on the last decade of applying, getting accepted, and getting rejected. 

Comedy Festivals Are All a Scam (But Only If You Don't Get In)
I'm being facetious, but...am I? The truth is, once you think about the actual business model, it's pretty awful. They charge you X amount of money to enter, but there's no guarantee you get in, and there's no guarantee you'll know if you didn't. Nor can you prove or can they prove if your submission tape was or wasn't watched. Then one day the festival just announces a bunch of names and either you're in or not. Though, sometimes they let you know ahead of time so they can confirm you're coming; so now you have to keep it a secret until they announce all the names, so you can't book other gigs.  

It gets worse. You never find out why you didn't get in. You don't even know until sometimes days in advance what days you'll perform, and it could be in a theater, comedy club, or a coffee shop. Sometimes room and board are covered, but traveling isn't, and sometimes just food is free, and sometimes it isn't. And considering you're either a broke comic or an aspiring comic with a full time job, you now have to budget the month out differently and get time off work. 
On top of all of that, the industry you wanted to meet may or may not be at your show, and some festivals charge money to panels and classes where you already paid for everything else not included. Then they have a "best of the fest" where the scores aren't public. Oh, and don't forget that you may or may not meet any local bookers on the scene to help if you want to go back to that town. 

Now, I know many have great experiences. There are plenty of legit festivals. But you're not getting into them, and the most legit one just filed for bankruptcy. 

Yet, there are perks to attending even smaller ones for comics. They meet other comics. Some get a late night spot out of it. Hell, some even meet bookers who headline or feature them later that year. They use frequent flyer miles and stay at their friend's house, cutting costs down to little to nothing. They have a really great week or so.  

So like I wrote, it's all a scam unless it isn't. And while that might feel like a cop out, I would argue that most jobs, dates, and churches could have the same philosophy applied to them too. Everything in life is a scam until it isn't. And everything isn't a scam until it is.   

Submission Windows Should Be One Month Only 
If there is one Catch 22 that always upsets my comedy ulcers - it's the 5-6 month window of submitting. Usually they have "early-bird" prices starting at $30 or so and then by the sixth month, the submission could be $70-$100. While this might feel like a traditional sales tactic, there is NO WAY that festival officials are watching and scoring tapes as they come in. Let's say the festival is in June and submissions are January through May. By the time April and May hit, they have hundreds of submissions. That's hours of tapes to watch. Does anyone think they'll be able to catch up on all those early birds? 

Oh. Wait. Don't worry, they are only going to watch the first 90 seconds, but then they have to make self-notes so just in case they think you might make the cut. So it's a time consuming exercise, and one I do not envy. But here's the rub. If you submit at the low price, then you have to hope they'll go back and watch those early bird tapes. And if you submit later, paying a higher price, you have to hope they didn't fill in the spots by the time they get to you. On top of all of that, they might have friends and more established comics getting spots without paying at all. 

This is why I think all festivals should have a one month, one price submission window. This gives every comic an equal chance of being seen properly. Plus, there is NO REASON to double or triple charge because someone found out about the festival after the early bird special pricing. If a festival has a 5-6 month window and only accepts a handful of applicants, then trust me when I say they aren't going to give you a fair chance.   

Diversity Is A Two Edge Sword
I'm not going to camp on this long, but diversity is all the rage right now, which sounds great until you realize that their desire to create opportunities creates limited spots for comics and checklists. Let's say 100 comics submit for a festival and only a couple are of a particular demographic (race, age, gender, magician, puppets, etc.), then they might have a better chance getting in. But if there are a lot of Group A, and the festival wants to meet demographic goals, then not all the best comics are getting in. Suddenly, they have "enough" diversity from Group A and Group B, so Group D gets in to spice things up. 

This isn't just race or sexual identity. There are many types of diversity. Clean comics. Dirty comics. Prop comics. Fat comics. One liner comics. Dry Bar comics. Late Night comics. TikTok comics. Returning festival comics. Religious comics. I noticed that a lot of festivals only had one fat guy with a beard. Which means, once they found one from Group X they liked, and you're in Group X, suddenly you're no longer looked as a funny comic but a doubling of that group - a threat to parity. So if you want to get thrown into this battle royale, just know there is a political agenda you have no control over.     

Maybe Wait Until They Headline You 
One workaround to dealing with the all the ups and downs of the festival scene is to just not participate and wait for festivals to invite you. Instead of paying money, just invest in your travels and open mic time and get to the point where they see your value as a comic and not as a prospective buyer of spots. By building your career and act, you can grow without feeling the added rejection from festivals. If you look at any good festival, you'll see headlining comics join to close outshows, and you can see some are bigger stars than others. So it's not about becoming world famous. It's about becoming world respected.   

Final Thoughts 
I still think there is a place for comedy festivals, but in the past decade, as more and more comics come out of various platforms, there is such an influx that you can't get a fair shake. Like Pot Luck at The Comedy Store, with their email policy, you just don't have much control, which means it's not fair to you to put hope in humans making the best choices. When I started ten years ago, I never thought I'd get this far, but I have had people tell me festivals rejected me one year for the same reason they would have picked me a few years ago. One comic told me a small festival wouldn't pick Dry Bar comics because they thought they got the credit already and others needed the push. But then I hear how others want credits so the whole festival feels big. It's a mess. 

​So as the summer ends and the different festivals do their "festivaling," don't let one group's rejection or acceptance define you. Because to be honest, they probably aren't rejecting or accepting you - they most likely never watched your tape anyways.      

I taught Critical Thinking at the high school and college levels for about a decade. I took multiple logic classes during my studies over the years as I pursued multiple degrees. I consider myself a clear communicator and clear thinker. I'm very lucky. Most people aren't. Most people have noise in their heads and anxiety and fear dominate their thinking process. Therefore, many decisions are based on emotional logic and not intellectual logic. This is why we have "guy math" and "girl math." Men will think, "If I invest in crypto, I will become a billionaire because cool kickboxers I admire do as well, and then they'll accept me and other men will think I'm cool too." Women will conclude "If I buy $300 shoes that are on sale for $250, I am saving $50, even though I'm using a credit card that with interest will eventually cost me more after missing payments."

Did I poke the bear yet? I have a reason for this. And it's really simple. Not every success is equal, and not very successful person is legitimate. They are known as industry plants, people pushed into the public spotlight by agents, social media platforms, and other outside forces to create narratives to keep less successful people on their platforms and believing in our capitalistic market. So if you're not where you want to be in online followings, it's okay. But if you think social media is going to save you - give up now, because it won't. It's time to be a critical thinker and not just a critic. 

The Three Amigos Go Viral 
Recently, within the last year we've had three major players go viral with no exceptional talent or abilities. First, last summer's Oliver Anthony went viral with "Rich Men North of Richmond," a southern bluegrass Appalachian tune about the evils of Washington politicians and the plight of the working man. This bearded, heavy set, young man grabbed a guitar and played outdoors, causing a stir, and within weeks he's on Fox News and Joe Rogan talking about his simple down south life while making millions off one song sang with no professional equipment.

A few months ago, Megan Boni quit her job and joined a circus of DJ's after her TikTok hikau "Looking for a man in finance" went viral, spurring multiple covers of the lyrics into club music beats. Within a few days she was sent on a world tour with a gimmick. How long will this last? I'm assuming she's find her man in finance, 6'5", blue eyes, with a trust fund before she has anything else pop. 

The most current viral success is Haliey "Hawk Tuah" Welch, a Tennessee hillbilly who did a man-on-the-street interview that blew up the internet. When asked  "What’s one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time?" she responded with, "You gotta give 'em that 'hawk tuah' and spit on that thang." And like that, her advice on oral gratification allowed her to quit her job, get an agency behind her, and she was a guest on Bill Maher's Club Random Podcast. Keep in mind, Bill has had Bill Burr, Jay Leno, Stephen A. Smith, Quentin Tarantino, Mark Cuban, Jordan Peterson, James Carville, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Oliver Stone as guests. To say she doesn't exactly fit the bill, is an understatement. Watching Maher try to find anything to talk about was painful.   

They've all created tours, merch, and social media followings, but why them and not others? 

Going Viral Doesn't Usually Do Anything 
Ironically, many think that if they have a viral video or tweet they'll build a fan base or get the fame they were looking for. That is just not the case. I know plenty of comics with millions of views on a few videos, sketches, etc. and they can't even get monetized on the platforms they're succeeding on. 
I know comics who've been on Joe Rogan, Adam Corolla, and other huge platforms, and they got no bump in their career. Comics with The Tonight Show and Conan credits are still trying to get passed by the big clubs in LA, but I'm pretty sure Haliey "Hawk Tuah" Welch could get a prime spot at most clubs tonight if her agent called in a favor.   

This story is as old as time. But it's not a real story. It's a mythological tale used to make people think these select few are ordained by the gods, while we sit back and grind for our crumbs. Films like "A Star Is Born" push the lie that some famous person will pluck you from the crowd and you'll sing into the hearts of America - it's a myth to keep you going. If I hear one more comic or content creator say "It just might be the next show where I'm discovered..." I don't know what I'll do, but it might involve me just hugging them out of empathy.     

This is the satirical equivalency of Jack Horner finding Dirk Diggler (Eddie Adams of Torrance) because he thinks Eddie has a bulge waiting to come out.  

The Simpsons Did It First 
Even The Simpsons played around with this story when Bart knocked down Krusty's TV studio set and said, "I didn't do it" to roars of laughter, prompting him into instant stardom as the "I Didn't Do It" Boy. There were shirts, songs, and TV appearances for Bart, just like these plants today.  Keep in mind, this was before social media, so clearly we've had flash in the pan "overnight" success stories. It just seems more calculated now. 

In the 1980's we had Pauley Shore and he died out within five years. A relatively unknown comic became the face of MTV, but by 1995 he couldn't get a movie to make a buck and he was gone. Megan Fox had a good run, but eventually found herself on every producer's do not hire list. Dane Cook had a few great years as a pretty boy comic, but after Hollywood realized his movies were unwatchable, everything spiraled and he was banned from LA clubs. Carlos Mencia watched his rise and fall come and go faster than expected. Say what you want about his joke stealing, that's irrelevant to fame. He just wasn't the next Paul Rodriguez or George Lopez, and Hollywood gave up. 
The difference now, is that these new viral stars aren't really "talented" or exceptionally sexy in the way we would view the others mentioned. But like Bart, they had their moment and faded away.         

Why Would Entertainment Need Industry Plants?
The real reason? Because entertainment, whether it's music, comedy, acting, etc. needs plucked from the stars celebrities so you'll keep watching. That's why we have American Idol, AGT, and other similar shows. We all want to be a part of the journey. People love saying "I was listening to them before they were famous..." and these new stars feed a Hollywood narrative and need for those following a dream. Like bringer shows, Hollywood is selling a dream. They need people to feed the machine. Products need new influencers. TikTok and Instagram needs new stars. These plants provide delusional hope that you're just one post away from popping. 

Isn't that the story every time? Matt Rife has been spewing this story that his buddy told him to post one more clip. He did, and now he's on his second Netflix special. Do you really believe that? If so, I have a lot of beach front property in Arizona to sell you. What actually happened is Matt Rife was already a pretty successful reality star, got a PR group behind him, and suddenly a few clips went viral through better analytics, and the media decided to put the highly attractive young man on full display. There are plenty of clips that get those numbers, so why did he get the agent and pay check? Because the algorithm trifecta of agencies, platforms, and Hollywood illuminati made it happen. It's not that you aren't "as good," but you aren't "as chosen." 

Final Thoughts 
I could go into all metaphysical concepts of free will and how effort and desire don't really equate results, but unless you are willing to embrace my cynical "Fight Club" theology worldview on the possibility that the algorithm just doesn't like you, then you will continue to post and post and hustle, feeding into a machine that already knows what it wants. Do you think its a coincidence the two girls are mid-looking blondes in their early twenties and the guy is a January 6 clone? They look like the people watching.  

​What I will say is this. Just produce clips, sketches, and content because you love it. Make art because you want to. If you chase the algorithm for selfish reasons, for fame, for money, nothing will really feel good. Your vision board isn't to manifest prosperity. Your vision board should be what you want to put out into the world. And if you're doing that, you might not get plucked from the heavens for 15 minutes of fame, but you will build a legacy that lasts a lifetime.