Today 10/30/24 I turn 43 years old. So here are 43 thoughts about being 43.
1. After 40 your body hurts every day, so you can't just say you're tired to get out of stuff, because you're always tired now. 2. Take care of your hair in your youth; you'll never realize how important it is to meeting women in your 40's (whether you're single, divorced, or in the "inbetween"). 3. Fight Club is the national anthem of movies for men. 4. Drink a lot of coffee. You'll feel better and more alert during the day. Plus you'll pee and sh*t more. 5. God loves you, but like any parent, He doesn't always like you. So just try to be good, will you? 6. Frank Sinatra music is the best road music. I would know, I practically live in my car. 7. Girls with tattoos are just sexier than girls without tattoos. But women who refrain from marking their body are probably more stable and like their dad more. 8. It's better to be broke in Los Angeles than wealthy in the mid-west. Because, you know, winter. 9. The plot for Nightmare on Elm Street and Home Alone are basically the same by the third act. 10. Every boy should play a sport between 12-18 at least for one year to learn fair play and dedication. 11. Every girl should play a sport between 5-12, just so they can beat up boys and make them afraid of them by junior high. 12. Dating a Latina is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get. 13. A good stack of pancakes is still the best breakfast in America. 14. The TV show Ted Lasso can change your life if you let it. 15. Horror films are the only genre pictures that are guaranteed to make you "feel" something, even if it's fear and dread. 16. Trust your grandpa when he tells you not to buy a Ford Truck with 50,000+ miles on it, even if you think Jen MacAuley will think it's hot. Because she won't and and it will break down. 17. Everything I learned in life, I learned first through wrestling. Both in competing and coaching. If you can volunteer for a decent local team, do it. It'll change your whole worldview. 18. Starbucks makes a delicious pumpkin muffin. 19. Play the MegaMillions every time it's over $300 million. It's just a buck. You deserve the opportunity. 20. I will continue to date women in their 20's, but I won't live and marry a woman until her 30's. They're nearly impossible to deal with in close quarters until about 29. 21. Everyone should read Life of Pi by Yann Martel. It's the best metaphor for life ever written. Plus it has the most chilling line I ever read: "Then normal sank." Boy is that true every day. 22. Check your tire pressure often. There's a reason the freeways are filled with ripped open rubber wheels. 23. Go to the movies alone. It's the most relaxing time you'll spend by yourself. Plus it's dark; no one notices you're alone. 24. Credit cards are like Latina women. They seem like a good idea at the time. But they come back to kill your credit. 25. Southern California Evangelical Churches will stop talking to you the day you leave the church for good or bad reasons. It's not personal. It's cultural. 26. Gossip with co-workers. And often. It's the only real reason to go to work. 27. Boobs are God's way for apologizing for making us work. 28. Take all the pictures you want on your iPhone. Just don't post all of them on Instagram. 29. The New York Yankees and Los Angeles Dodgers are the best franchises in sports history. F**k Boston! 30. Top five NBA players of all time are Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Bill Russell, and Lebron James. Not in that particular order. 31. Please keep your dog on a leash in public. Yes, they're YOUR child, but you feed them. We are a threat to them. 32. Loving your enemy is hard. But do it any way. 33. Go to Disneyland as an adult. But only if you went as a kid. If your first time is after 25, you're gonna keep asking "Does it get better?" 34. Matt Walsh of The Daily Wire is a penis face head whose breath smells like urine. But I love him anyways, because he's my enemy. 35. Donald Trump gave evangelicals and hard core Catholics the freedom to hate immigrants out loud. He's the poop in the pool. 36. If I wasn't a Christian, I'd be a heathen. All the other religions really don't look that fun. 37. Democrats needs Roe v. Wade to say they're not pro-abortion, just pro-choice. The way Republicans needed a conservative Supreme Court to legalize gay marriage so they can love their gay kids openly. Because we all hide behind the law. 38. In writing for the VC Reporter for 16 years, I've noticed through letters sent to me, conservatives have terrible grammar and lefties like swearing more. 39. The UFC might be barbaric and overtly violent, but it keeps men at bay. Trust me, a world where men can't watch fights or be in them would be a nightmare. 40. It's okay to get really high when watching The Big Lebowski, The Wizard of Oz, or any Stanley Krubrick film. 41. Siskel & Ebert is really the best 30 minute show ever produced, because they're discussing something every important - how one should spend their weekend. 42. 42 is the most important number in the universe and the answer to everything. 43. No matter how you live your life, you can still be hated. Jesus fed all the people. Jesus heled all the people. Jesus loved all the people. They still put Him on a cross. He knew it and it didn't stop Him anyway. Go and do likewise.
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There's a classic phrase that was brought back in the 2000's that was originally a motivational poster produced by the United Kingdom Government in 1939 during World War II. The classic line was in the great tradition of the "stiff upper lip" British ethos, reminding people that when the setbacks happen, don't panic. Douglas Adams, in his brilliant novel A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, satirized the simplicity of the message with his catch phrase "Don't Panic" during an alien invasion early in his now famous work. While being on stage isn't comparable to the life of a middle class British citizen fearing Nazi bombs in 1939, one could argue stand up comedy resembles an alien attack, what with the wide eyed looks and panic attacks on both ends of the show. Regardless, both spiffy catchphrases are a great way to approach hiccups and setbacks in a set. Recently, I found myself in a situation where a riff went off the rails, with no exit strategy. I felt like George W. Bush in 2004. It was a hot crowd, and up until this point I was having a great set. At the point in the story I realized I was in over my head, I started to internally panic. But I remembered three key components:
1. The audience doesn't have a copy of my set list, so they have no actual expectation of where this is going 2. I'm a funny guy and I can find a way out if I just stay calm and think about my word choice 3. No matter how this goes, I still have two great closers to end on a high note So let's breakdown the three steps to getting out of a bit gone wrong. No One Has A Copy of Your Set Understanding that your mess ups are only in your rearview mirror and not the crowd's is crucial to moving forward. In this case, I was riding riff momentum and never actually told the story about my jackass principal wanting me to quit standup before. Eventually, I figured out how to weave out and pivot as soon as I could. While I knew I had gone into uncharted territories, they hadn't. They were still waiting, trusting, and anticipating a punchline, and while I may not have a finally crafted ending (yet), I can just move forward knowing that no one will come up and say, "I thought the punchline was..." Too often we are hard on ourselves for missing a tag or a key word in the setup, when in reality, only we knew it was missing. If the attitude and commitment to the bit is there, you can replace perfect joke structure with near perfect persona. Sometimes a little high energy can fix a low performing joke. If you are working on a new bit, feel free to rant a little and let new punchlines come to you. If you find yourself lost in a story or set up, always remember you have the freedom to map yourself out. You Are Funnier Than Your Jokes Whenever I find myself in a bit that's DOA, and only I am really aware of that, I remind myself I'm a funny person and I can make people laugh. You gotta Stuart Smalley yourself sometimes (Google it, kiddos). I'm a professional comedian. Which means, like a pro athlete, I might have a shot clock issue, but it's my job to find the shot, draw the foul, or get the ball out of bounds for a fresh start. I love sports analogies and that's about as clear as I can make it. You set up the play (joke) and you will have to use instinct and skill to get out of a tough defense. Recently, I had a show that was hit and miss. The crowd was chatty and they felt the need to yell things out. I decided to go with it, engage, and find punchlines as I went. It was a sort of mixture of crowd work and bits without the crowd thinking I scripted it. I treated the awkward outbursts like I would a conversation at dinner. I listened for my opportunities to chime in without bulldozing them with the mic. Trying to be "louder" is not the same as trying to be "funnier" than the room. If you let the jokes come to you, instead of forcing the whole night in your favor, they'll settle down and trust you. After the show, a woman approached me and said she appreciated how calm and relaxed I was when the crowd got rowdy. She mentioned how the last couple of shows made her feel anxious when the comic got on edge about the chatter and seemed ruffled. She asked my secret. I told her, "I treat every show like a date where I'm in control. I'm dating the crowd." I want them to see me as a calm entity. A person who they can trust in times of peril. I'm Always Okay If I Know I Have More Jokes One important thing to remember when trying new jokes or rants is this: Always have a backup plan. I have closing bits that are elaborate stories with act outs and call backs, but I also have one joke that is ready to go at the end if needed. It's a minute long, so I never have to worry about running over. Everyone should have a back pocket joke. It will give you confidence to try anything, knowing that once you get out you have a lighthouse guiding you to shore. On a similar note, after you get off stage, you are going to feel a bit beat up when one or two jokes didn't land or you let yourself go off the rails unsuccessfully. That's normal and it is your nervous system proving you still care about the experience you and the audience have together. But it's important to remember that comedy doesn't end the night your set isn't an A+. It keeps going. I literally had to regroup recently and go drive three hundred miles the next day. It's a journey, not a sprint. Literally. Final Thoughts Stand up comedy is an unnatural act in many ways. You are participating in two of the greatest fears/struggles of humanity: Public Speaking and Humor. When both are done well, it looks easy. When it goes south, EVERYONE notices. And considering how many shows we do for free at different points in our career, it's what Jerry Seinfeld calls a form of self torture. Just remember that when the walls are crumbling in front of you, it's going to be okay. There are future shows and new tags to try. In reality, you'll never see that audience again, and the next crowd is excited about seeing you. And look, as long as you don't do what Kramer did at The Laugh Factory (YouTube it, kiddos) after he lost the crowd, then you're killing the game, playa! By now you all know my true love is movies. I think movies answer all the riddles of life. There is something about a writer creating characters and then having an actor and director, along with a whole production team of artists, fully realize that person through all the magic of cinema. Recently, I rewatched the 2005 Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, and Best Supporting Actor winner Million Dollar Baby. The story of a female fighter (Hillary Swank) and her trainers (Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman) coming to grips with their own mortality, family dynamics, and regrets. It's a powerful film with a lot of parallels to the world of stand up comedy. From the conceptual ideas of training and working out to the the goal of reaching bigger and better gigs, I saw the film in a new way. But maybe one thing stood out the most to me the most - the idea of getting your shot. And in stand up, one of the hardest realities is knowing you might never get that one fair chance to "make it." In many ways sports films are perfect metaphors for the life of a stand up. So let's talk about the idea of getting your shot and the gratitude we must have to survive.
What is Getting a Shot? In the film, Swank wants a shot at the world champion, and after nearly pulling off the upset, she gets sucker punched, causing her to break her neck on a chair which paralyzes her for the rest of her life. Within a second she goes from a successful prize fighter to a woman trapped in a hospital bed. It is the definition of tragedy. As Eastwood laments over not protecting her enough from the inevitable accident, Morgan Freeman gives a classic Morgan Freeman speech that puts the whole story and their lives in perspective. "Maggie walked through that door with nothing but guts. No chance in the world of being what she needed to be. It was because of you that she was fighting the championship of the world. You did that. People die everyday, Frankie - mopping floors, washing dishes and you know what their last thought is? I never got my shot. Because of you Maggie got her shot. If she dies today you know what her last thought would be? I think I did all right." That is the insight a great film can give us. It's not the longevity of life, but it is the quality of life. Too often we think in only terms of Netflix or The Tonight Show as success. But when you think about the opportunities you've had, did you at least seize them? Did you drive that extra hour to a show that would get you more work? Did you headline, even if it was a small show? Did you take that class? Did you write that spec script? Did you at least get to the point of rejection? Too often people don't even reach the place of rejection. They aren't even losers, because they'd have to try to lose. Never Forget The Lineups You Did With Big Names One of my favorite sports films is the great true story of Dan "Rudy" Rutiger. A Notre Dame walk on football player, Rudy tells the earnest story of a hard working kid who feels cheated and lied to by the system. Yet, the kind groundskeeper played by Charles S. Dutton reminds him that even if he never plays in a game, he made the team and hacked it, something most never get to do. "You're 5 foot nothin', 100 and nothin', and you have nearly a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football team in the land for 2 years. And you're gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself." Maybe you aren't where you want to be, but think of all the great comics you've met or worked with. Think of the shows in cool and unique venues you got to grab a mic at. Did you ever get a dollar? Then you're a paid, professional comic. Thousands of open mic comics will never make a penny. Most will never work with a headliner who has a national TV credit. If you've gotten to do any of those things, consider yourself lucky. You got a shot. Hold your head up high. Giving Up is an Option But Not an Answer Maybe the most viral sports film speech is said by Rocky Balboa in the sixth Rocky film. There's a lot of great speeches in this series of films, but the one you mostly saw, regardless of your relationship to the series, is the on Rocky gives to his grown son upset he hasn't made it in business, feeling trapped in the shadow of his father. Rocky reminds him of a few hard truths. "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life." Often in stand up, the gatekeepers can keep you down, but they can't keep you off the stage. There was a time in my career I just assumed I needed a B club showcase clubs. But after this year, and 250+ paid shows, I can tell you, I don't need small minded clubs making me feel bad I didn't make them money. If you don't like how they treated you, can you at least say you got your shot? Did you get up there and do your best? If so, and they still didn't want you, move on. You can hold your head up high knowing you did all you can do. Final Thoughts "Traditional Success" is not guaranteed in any industry. Hard work does not mean you'll meet all your goals. But just getting in and taking advantage of opportunities can be the difference between feeling gratitude or not. You don't have to sell your soul, nor do you have to prove yourself. Most of the top people of an industry have a feeling of imposter syndrome anyway, so if you think reaching the top of the mountain is the goal, just know, the way down can be more humbling than the trip up was rewarding. Once you see every set you do as getting your shot and taking your shot, then you can move forward more confidently. And if you ever get on a TV show, meet a famous comic, or play a theater, just know, you can say you've done something most comics will go to the grave wishing they could. And if you feel you haven't gotten your shot yet, just know many don't, but you certainly won't get your shot if you quit now. I started my comedy journey ten years ago in Los Angeles. I wondered into a comedy show in the basement of a bar, saw a terrible comic read from his notebook unfunny jokes and thought, "I'm funnier than that guy." The rest is history. One Dry Bar Special. Laughs on Fox. Nationwide shows in twelve states. Working with Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer, Jay Leno, Paul Rodriguez, Whitney Cummings, and Wendy Liebman. And a bank account that reflects the starving artist mythology to the tee. But there's also a lot I missed out on because I was blessed but also cursed to start out in Los Angeles. There's a joke that all the comics in Nebraska wish they were in LA and all the comics in LA wish they were in Nebraska. You can replace Nebraska with any other state (except New York), but the truth remains the same. So, are there disadvantages starting stand up in Los Angeles? And are there advantages starting comedy in a "fly over state?" Let's take a look.
LA Gets You Ready For Auditions, Not a Real Act Starting out in LA, I was used to 3-5 minute showcases at small venues and coffee houses. I had to learn quickly to sink or swim in hostile short bursts. To get off a joke that lands every thirty seconds to eventually twenty seconds to hopefully ten seconds and then rip off the tags for sustainable laughter was an embarrassing and scary experience. But that's the nature of the beast. If you're lucky, you eventually get ten minutes somewhere, where maybe you can work on a closing joke that you'll never get to try out until you earn the right to perform for 15 minutes in Bakersfield or Hemet. Meanwhile, my comedy friends from the mid-west told me they got long hosting spots and even 20-30 minute feature spots. I was standing in line at The Comedy Store with 150 other dreamers for Pot Luck and Kill Tony spots and they were telling tales about getting paid on a much more relaxed and forgiving road, combining multiple state tours. So while I might have created a series of five minute bits and sets, they were finding their voice much faster, as they had less competition for stage time and greater access to bookers who owned multiple clubs in their geographical location. While they carpooled from state to state, I was lucky to get a Friday in Burbank and a Saturday in Claremont. One LA friend moved to Michigan and made easily a couple thousand a month. He came back to LA, felt the cold shoulder again, and now he's done with comedy completely. Living in LA might have a million little shows, but it's still a million little sets. Currently, 90% of my shows are over 20 minutes, my shortest set being the 15 I do to open JR's Comedy Club. I'm one of the lucky ones, but it took almost a decade. My out of state comic buddies got the same perks within a few years. Open Mic Scenes Are Completely Different When I was starting out, there was a really cool booker who told me that I should always do my best material at open mics when at a club. Whether it was Flappers 5PM Tuesday mic or Lab Work at The Improv, he said don't let a booker see you doing new material. He was so right. In LA, first impressions are everything, and I can't tell you how many bookers of large and small venues would judge an entire career on one new joke at an open mic. "He's not ready" or "She doesn't have 'it' yet" was the judgement I'd hear from their mouths. I still tell comics that no matter how many times a booker says they know open mics aren't booked shows, they sill can't help but make judgements. But when I talk to bookers and house managers at clubs around the country, they seem proud of giving their local comics freedom to improve. Often, the bookers and managers get to know them as people, give feedback, and feel a sort of mentorship. Meanwhile, LA bookers take their email off the website and create secret handshakes to get booked. I recently saw a comic on a podcast discuss how he did his first nine years out of state before moving to Los Angeles. While the rest of us have to use open mics to try out new material and get stage time, he took his established act and broke it up to kill at open mics. He said he might have been broke, but he also got passed at big clubs before all the LA natives still trying to figure out their best three minutes. The Biggest Pro For LA Natives is Surviving the Long Game One true blessing of being an LA native or at least established in LA is that you learn how to survive the city while transplants feel overwhelmed by the cruel fast paced indifference. I was born in Los Angeles in the early 1980's and moved to Simi Valley in 7th grade. My dad stayed in Chatsworth after the divorce. I had all the LA experiences I needed by the time I started doing stand up in my mid-thirties. I know it's okay to live in Van Nuys or Burbank or North Hollywood. I don't have to find a $3,000 apartment in West Hollywood. It's a twenty minute drive everywhere if you understand city streets, Sepulveda, back canyon roads, and there's more free parking in The Valley for better open mic experiences. There's no need to "make it" once you were born here. A lot of my friends I met in comedy from out of state find themselves homeless, living in their car, because they only brought a couple thousand dollars with them. There's no $400 rooms to rent like in their hometown city. Or they accidently get an apartment in Palmdale, thinking LA County is small. Or they get a Downtown apartment surrounded by dirty streets and dangerous back ally trouble. They're gone before they have time to start. The ones who make it usually have supportive family members or got a great job before moving. Or they have huge credits and have projects and shows lined up. But if comedy stopped on January 1st for me, I could still live in LA. That's the biggest blessing of all. The hometown advantage. Final Thoughts Back in 2017 I debated taking a job in Ohio so I could be a geographical comic in the Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky, Pennsylvania scene. I looked into taking my Dry Bar credit to the Funny Bone chains and try my luck at getting longer sets in colder weather. I passed, but I do wonder if it would have been a better move for me. Plenty of great comics used that middle America landscape as a comedic playground to great success. So for those who started this journey in LA, just know if you feel behind the out of state up and comer, you're not paranoid. And for the out of state comic who thinks everyone born in LA is too laid back, you're right. We don't care. We don't need to see celebrities. Hell, when I'm on the road, I am the celebrity. Both groups have their pros and cons being from where they were born, but at the end of the day, the only place I really wish I could be or from is New York. I'll let you deconstruct that on your own. Since 2018, I've been teaching standup comedy. Many people, even those who never paid for a class, ask me what the formula is. When I ask if they mean the work ethic or the joke writing, they just say, "How can I make it if I wanted to?" For the past decade as a stand up, I can say there was a time I would think it was the perfection of the setup + punchline. Later I would tell you it's the getting up every day for at least 5 years to find a voice and comfortableness. Maybe I would have told you it's the amount of vulnerability a comic reveals on stage. And all of those are true. But I think I finally cracked a formula that is at the heart of stand up.
It's the existential exercise of combining different types of intelligence to develop a unique voice. Setups and punchlines are great, but they aren't always effective. Getting up daily is crucial, unless you're just practicing the same crappy jokes. Vulnerability feels like a way to get good, but that can actually get depressing if not done in the right tone. But combining all of those ways works itself out with this simple equation: Verbal IQ + Intellectual IQ - Emotional IQ = Comedy IQ Confused? Then let's go down a rabbit hole together. I promise. You'll be a more aware comic within minutes. What Does IQ Have To Do With Comedy? IQ is basically a way to assess your human intelligence. We have IQ tests with numerous puzzles that assess your ability to use reason and logic. We think usually only in terms of intelligence. But we've also learned that people with high IQ's can be their own worst enemy, overthinking everything, while mid-level IQ people excel because they're too dumb to quit. There are many types of IQ's. Here is a "layman's" summary. I'm not a doctor, but as an educator (former English professor) I can tell you a few things I picked up in my graduate studies. Verbal IQ assesses your ability to speak and read. When I was in kindergarten I had the verbal IQ of a 5th grader. I was able to listen, understand, and respond at a much higher rate than my peers. This was a blessing in my youth, and as a public speaker, but a curse when everyone else was speaking a much lower level. Your Verbal IQ is also represented in how fast you respond. Roast battle comics can have a great verbal IQ, whereas maybe someone with a more relaxed style might struggle to spit out jokes. Intellectual IQ looks at your problem solving skills. It lets a professional know you have quick mental reflexes or strong decision making skills. This type of IQ can reveal strong math skills or the ability to recognize patterns. These people are good at STEM jobs, but might lack wisdom. They clearly know if you do X then Y will happen, but they don't always think about how this will make people feel. Like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, Intellectual IQ is a blessing and curse. Sports IQ is how we evaluate a Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, or Hulk Hogan. These people have almost MCU level abilities to see the whole field or court. They might not be the "brightest" guy in the room but when it comes to reading plays or using their body, they are geniuses. In fact, one joke we all have seen is the inarticulate jock, because they have a low Verbal IQ. Musical IQ is one's ability to play music or sing or produce albums. Whether we are talking about a 3 year old Beethoven, a multiple instrument playing Prince, or a Quincy Jones balancing multiple artists at once - these people see the notes - literally - fly off the page and can make them do things average people never could. Some say they learned to play from the Devil, and those people are called the family members I don't talk to anymore. Emotional IQ is the one I want to focus on today. This is the measurement of one's ability to read people. We hear the word empath, and if they truly can feel other's feelings or see the joy or pain in others, they would have a high Emotional IQ. Emotional IQ is the filter that keeps you from being a jerk. Nice people who really listen have a great Emotional IQ. Some might put the dumb in the word dumbbells, but they will love you and help you even if they have to suffer a bit. They usually are aware of their own needs as well. We call this Interpersonal (dealing with others) and Intrapersonal (dealing with one's self) intelligence. Comedy IQ is not a real term, but it is a symbolic and quantitative way to best describe your ability to perform comedy at your highest level. Universally, there are certain people like Jon Stewart, Paula Poundstone, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and Lucille Ball who have a very high Comedy IQ. They consistently made people laugh - and have large fan bases in the process. They all share the same ability to communicate and hit the right emotional cords. Those who lack in the above IQ's tend to struggle more. Why Understanding IQ Matters Often people try stand up comedy and find it really hard, but then there are others who pick it up quickly. I am going to argue their different IQ's will determine their ability to rise the ranks faster than anything else. Clearly, no one doing "traditional" stand up comedy needs a high Sports or Musical IQ. While sports stars can tell funny stories and musical comedians can have much success, it is not those forms of intelligence or talent that make their comedy work. But all comics must have a combination of Verbal IQ, Intellectual IQ, and Emotional IQ. Too much of one, and you'll lose the crowd. Too little of another and you might alienate the crowd. Understanding Your Verbal IQ People with a high Verbal IQ might use too many words, losing the rhythm of the joke; but too low of a verbal IQ and they sound like Forrest Gump, lacking any charisma or confidence. Even when comedian Drew Lynch had a stutter, he still possessed a high verbal IQ. There are many comics who can't properly express themselves because they lack a strong vocabulary and flow of speech. We think of them as slow thinkers. It's almost as if they say something, send it to a verbal satellite in the sky and wait for it to send back another sentence. As a comic, this can truly hurt your most important tool: Communication. Many comics struggle with crowd work or a quiet crowd because they have a low Verbal IQ. This doesn't mean they aren't intelligence, but they'll never start a Tony Robbins like cult. Suave seducers have a high verbal IQ. Successful car salesmen, lawyers, and pastors share high verbal IQ's. This is a comic's greatest weapon, even if they have little substance to their act. Is Your Intellectual IQ Getting In the Way? Comics with a high Intellectual IQ might speak above the crowd, lacking any relatable material. Ever seen a comic talking about an obscure film or philosophical topic and they're giggling and no one else is? Ever seen a comic just talk about poop and butts and can't take anything seriously? That's a demonstration of a low Intellectual IQ. Many stand ups are victims of both the upsides and downside of the Intellectual IQ equation. While starting out, comics would say things at open mics that were so blatantly stupid, people would just yell out "nope!" There were also comics who wanted to talk about how the number Pi (3.14) was really a code for...never mind, I'm not smart enough to explain. When people tell me they want to do sophisticated comedy, like George Carlin, I also say, "Carlin talked about everything from dogs to politics. It wasn't all Voltaire inspired madness. When people have a low Intelligence IQ, they say things the audience doesn't believe. They lose them quickly. Even if they're a great speaker, they just sound like a dumb great speaker. Like a shallow politician. Emotional IQ is the Key to Your Comedy Career Emotional IQ could either trauma dump to the point it's awkward or be way too nice to the point of boredom. Emotional IQ is the way people feel and react in the moment. They can literally feel their way through a room or a set. Your Emotional IQ can filter out controversial topics and language that would get the laugh because you might be afraid you'll be less likable. Often, when working with new comedy students, they would say "I don't feel comfortable saying that," and it wasn't anything more than a silly joke. They confuse jokes with statements of belief. Which makes them a great therapist but a less than interesting comic. I once heard a comic say the worst thing a comic can say about you is, "He's a nice guy" instead of "He's a funny guy." When your Emotional IQ is out of whack you might be a beloved member of society, but your comedy will suffer. Yet, the lower the Emotional IQ on stage, sometimes the better the comic. In the real world, a Bill Burr rant gets you fired from the job. But by giving a "no f--ks given" attitude, forfeiting the desire to be liked, a comic can become the cathartic experience an audience member wants. People with high Emotional IQ's will ask, "How will people feel if I say this?" People with lower Emotional IQ's will say "How big of a laugh if I say this?" All those "Say it like is" people you love or hate demonstrate low Emotional IQ's. The Red Pill guys who have no sympathy for single moms and those women who mock men for their height are low Emotional IQ people. They might make good "verbal" or "logical" statements, but they're jerks. That's basically what a jerk it. But a jerk with a joke makes a lot of money in stand up. Yet, while some comics demonstrate low Emotional IQ's on stage, they might have a dueling personality, where off stage they are perfectly kind and caring. I remember watching Bill Burr be utterly offended by the mockery taking place when a guest on Kill Tony. There is a "persona" aspect, but Bill still has to reduce his Emotional IQ to say the things he says. The Comedy Equation Verbal IQ + Intellectual IQ - Emotional IQ = Comedy IQ Eventually, I realized the most successful comics had a strong Verbal IQ, at least a mediocre Intellectual IQ, and a low (but not sociopath level) Emotional IQ when on stage. The greater you ability to communicate (delivery, tone, verbage, vocabulary) plus your ability to discuss relatable topics (marriage, dating, kids, jobs, sex) in a reasonable fashion, minus an Emotional IQ (empathy, sympathy) can produce a successful act. Often when people complain about Dave Chapelle's takedown of the LGBTQ+ community, those people are coming from a high Emotional IQ point of view. When people say Bert Kriescher is just a dude running around with his shirt off, they're attacking his Intellectual IQ. In fact, when people mocked Adam Sandler's gibberish from his early comedy days, they are going after his Verbal IQ. Yet, these comics found the right formula for them. What Dave Chapelle lacks in Emotional IQ, he has Verbal IQ in spades. Kreischer might not be a brilliant man (he'd admit this), but boy does he have the right amount of Emotional IQ, which allows him to say things about his kids and wife no one would say at the company picnic. He has no filter. There are rare exceptions to the formula. Gary Gulman has a very high Verbal and Intellectual IQ but he appears to have a high Emotional IQ as well, always staying very pleasant and witty. There is no mean spiritedness, yet he also doesn't command the same fan base as the ones with a lower Emotional IQ. I can play this game all day, pinpointing the different IQ strengths and weaknesses of comics, but the point is that if you find jokes aren't hitting, it could be your formula is out of whack. When your formula is out of whack, so is your act. Final Thoughts Self awareness is the key to understanding success. Assessing others correctly is a way to give notes that help them. When I taught comedy, I would try to play up a student's strengths. If you find language to be an issue with you, I highly encourage you to practice speaking out loud more often. Practice building your Verbal IQ. If you see your topics are not really connecting with the audience, then maybe take some time seeing what people are into. What's trending on Twitter X? What are the top movies and TV shows? What are people responding to? I love 80's and 90's professional wrestling, but most people in comedy shows don't. So I have to adjust my IQ and stay on topic with things I can get a proper response for. If you feel people are pulling back instead of laughing, or you find people aren't laughing because everything is sort of too nice, then it's time to adjust your comfort zone and either lower or raise the Emotional IQ. Comedy takes a long time to figure what you can get away with. I find I can't go too mean, but I can be "sarcastic." I have to keep a higher Emotional IQ than I might want to get the response I desire. Just know there's a place for you regardless, but you might need to work on one of your three IQ's to get into more places. |
Paul Douglas Moomjean Blog's About What's on His MindBlogging allows for me to rant when there is no stage in the moment to talk about what's important and/or funny to me. Archives
October 2024
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