Jay Kelly and the Price of Fame

Most of us want to reach the highest levels of fame. I don't care where you are in your comedy, acting, improv, or music career - you want that big paycheck. Or you at least wouldn't oppose it. And that's not a bad thing. Ambition is a wonderful motivator. It's ambition that helps guide us and help track our success. It's hard to take a proper inventory of our life's accomplishments if we don't have a measuring stick. But is there a cost of reaching our highest levels? We know there is, intellectually speaking, but emotionally we tend to ignore the red flags and sometimes push away those we are supposed to put before our own ambition. 

This is the reason I so enjoyed the new Netflix film (debuting on 12/5) called Jay Kelly. It's Noah Baumbach's comedic meditation on the life of the rich and famous. In this story, it's the title character played by George Clooney who is examined for his choices - most of them ambitiously selfish and with real world consequences. And I highly encourage you to watch it both for its entertainment value and for it's meta deconstruction of reaching the highest point of the mountain of success, only to find it lonely and cold at the top. 

Fame Destroys Family and Friendships 
When we meet Jay Kelly at first, he's a beloved actor on set. The cast and crew love him. He's a star. But soon we see how his daughters view him. One daughter no longer wants to talk to him. The other appears embarrassed by him. There are whispers of ex wives we never meet and there are friends from his past who feel betrayed by him. 

One character many of us can relate to is Billy Crudup as Timothy, a former roommate of Jay's who was the top student in their acting class. Jay betrayed him in their youth and they have a confrontation over which side of the story is true. Plus there is the dying director who gave Jay his big break, but Jay isn't willing to help him get his last project off the ground. Anyone who has been in this game for over 5 years years knows these characters in real life. 

Watching one comic skyrocket into the stratosphere as you have to sit back can be deflating, especially when you were considered the stronger comic. And not wanting to return a favor because it no longer suits you is a struggle many of us face as we climb the ladder or become the victim of as others get passed at clubs. 

I know I've made numerous professional and personal sacrifices to do what I get to do. And watching so many comics quit after years of work because they couldn't make any breakthroughs is hard. And when you feel them being a bit jealous of the success - it's tougher because they were supposed to be happy for you (and for "us" we tell ourselves). 

On top of that, dealing with missing out on friends and family events because of prescheduled gigs is hard to explain. Normal people have their weekends open for weddings and parties. If I'm at a wedding, I'm the officiant. If I go to a party, then that means I'm not making money that weekend. This life is not for those who want normal. Having a healthy relationship is nearly impossible if you're on the road every other weekend. What I appreciated about the film is that it doesn't shy away from the bitter sweetness of the success to loneliness ratio. 

Your Best Friends Are Often Tied To Your Success 
The best relationship in the film is between Jay Kelly and his manager Ron, played by an enduring Adam Sandler. The constant elephant in the room is that all of the people who stick around Jay are paid to be there. Yes, they might be friends, but it's attached to a 15% commission. So many times in stand up you realize your friendship with a comic was tied to your ability to book them for shows, drive them to gigs, or pay for their open mic spots. Not all, but you tend to see how once your service is no longer needed or can be provided, you no longer are part of their lives. 

This goes both ways. In the film, Sandler's Ron finds out Jay didn't invite him to a party for his daughter, while Jay was invited to numerous events in his family's life. It's this reality that always makes you second guess a person's loyalty. 

I've personally noticed this in my life. When I'm booking a lot of shows, I get more DM's. When I'm not, I might not even get responses to my "Hey what's up" messages. It's a sad reality that many comics are social climbers, and this film plays that up well. At the end of the day it's a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" industry, and Baumbach questions the value of that type of relationship with pathos and humor perfectly. 

Fame is a Drug Many Want To Hit Again and Again
At the heart of the film is Jay's relationship to fame. He's beloved by strangers, while being reviled by friends and family. No wonder he hides in his public persona from his responsibilities as a man, husband, and father. It's just easier to walk the streets and have people fawn over you. 
I can tell you, it's quite a rush doing gigs on the road and people want to take a picture with you after the show. Why would I want to be at home or working a thankless job where no one wants to take a picture with me. 

Women routinely ask me if I want to get a drink after the show. Men ask questions about stand up to live cathartically through me. Younger comics ask for advice. Back home, I'm just a broke guy who struggles to get by. But in the middle of the country, I'm a celebrity. And I'M NOT EVEN FAMOUS. I'm just the night's entertainment. And they love me - for a moment. 

In the film, Jay has a requirement in his contract that wherever he goes the venue or production must provide him cheesecake. He doesn't even like cheesecake. It's a classic metaphor of the overabundance of praise celebrities receive - sometimes not even wanted. On the road, there's free food, free drinks, and access to areas of the club and venue others never get to see. But once you no longer are on the bill, that access gets cut off and you're reminded of your place in the universe. 

There is nothing quite like seeing your face all over a casino in lights, only to see a new comic's face in the same place the Sunday morning you check out of the hotel.  

Final Thoughts
With Jay Kelly coming out this week, I encourage you to make time for it and reflect on your own ambitions and goals. It's a complex film that argues the pros and cons of seeking a life of fame. You might be celebrated one day and discarded out the next. Many of us might find ways to relate to the Jay character, but in reality many of us are the Billy Crudup and Adam Sandler characters. We live in the shadows of more successful people who let us be part of the journey due to their own ambition.  

​Most of us aren't that successful, yet many of us made sacrifices in the hopes of becoming that next level comic or actor. Maybe we can be regretful or sad we never reached the top of the mountain, but maybe we can also feel relief we never gave up our soul to inherit a world that would never be there for us anyway.