The Bully Problem in Stand Up Comedy

​During the day, I've been running a gym. I have a crew of about eight 18-24 old college students that I manage and mentor in the sales and service game. They're all wonderful in their own ways. They also are learning a lot about how corporations and different generation bosses can have different expectations than their high school teachers and even parents have for them. Whether I'm dealing with tardiness or general defiance, I have to show both mercy and firmness.

Yes, we are paying them. And yes, I'm the "boss." But we aren't paying them enough to get berated by entitled gym members and their comedian boss. I've had high paying stressful jobs where the berating came with the pay. I've also worked minimum wage at multiple companies and the ones with easy going but firm bosses were always the most fun and rewarding.

Yet, if there's one thing I don't tolerate as a boss is when a member/customer tries to publicly embarrass or talk down to a college kid. I'm an adult, but when Papa Bear sees his cubs being pushed around, the claws will come out, and with my comedy skills and unusual amount of confidence, the bullies never see it coming when I step in. 

It is our duty in life to protect those who need help. That doesn't mean everyone wants the help, but when we see someone being mistreated, we must muster up the courage to de-escalate situations. This goes for comics too. When we see bad headliners, producers, or bookers mistreating people, we must at least make our presence felt, if only to create a vibe that forces the bully to step back.

Rights V. Responsibilities 
Most people are more concerned with their "rights" than their "responsibilities" and stopping bad behavior in front of you is all of our responsibilities. Even notice a bad customer service moment usually starts with a dude yelling about his personal rights? But what about his responsibilities? At my gym people will cancel their card on file and then their membership gets canceled. They will cry about how they were hurt and have a right to get their old price back. We can have that conversation, but what about their responsibility to update their form of payment with the computer system? I know when I change debit card info I spend a good couple hours contacting Netflix, Gyms, Subscriptions, Amazon, etc. to update - because that's my responsibility. 

The same goes with comics who have more leverage at clubs and see bad behavior. You have to call it out. I once was told a story how Jim Gaffigan was given some time on a bringer show as the headliner without knowing it was a bringer. When he saw one of the comics crying over being cut from the lineup, Jim told the slimy producer either she goes up or he's dropping out. That's the way you handle that. 

Maybe you're not at Jim Gaffigan's level, but when you see producers sexually harassing comics, making cuts in the lineup, etc. you can simply choose not to work with them anymore. And let them know why. As Gandhi said, "Be the comedian you want to see in the world."

Confronting Friends Is Not Easy But Necessary 
One thing I always hear from comics is, "How did they not know So and So was a creep? Why did they support them?" Well, that's simple. Bad comics don't always treat their friends poorly. My male buddies never took me out on a date. They never tried to sleep with me. Well, the straight ones at least. So I had no idea how they treated women.  So I can't react until I have a situation to react to. 

Ten years ago I got a message from a friend who told me a comic I was buddies with was super aggressive with her (she was the bartender at my show) and days later I heard the same thing from a female comic I had on the show. He was cut from future shows.

Was it easy? No. But the right thing to do and the harder thing to do is usually the same thing. He ended up moving away after becoming a parasite in the comedy community.

Now, can we always take the first story and run with it? No. But we can at least choose to stand up to those when it's been made clear this booker, comic, etc. is a creep. I've had to ban comedy students for sexually harassing other students. I've had to call people to let them know there were accusations made. I've had to tell comics they are no longer welcome due to bad behavior. Were these "fun" conversations? No. But I had a responsibility.

Current Stand Up Climate and Bullying 
Today, I see the bullying coming from bringer producers, bad bookers, and podcasters who think free speech is being hurt because their free flowing comments are bashed online. But the real bullies are those involved with Kill Tony. This seems to be mainstream bullying at it's lowest form. A show dedicated to mocking comics and their lives, from a rather loathed and despised comic named Tony Hinchcliffe. A man-child who goes after the delusional and makes millions doing it. Now, you can say these comics knew what they were getting themselves into - fair point. But I would say, it's based on the false promise of instant fame. 

Every week Tony calls names out of a bucket and bright eyed open-micers run up on stage hoping to be the next freak of the week Tony will give a golden ticket to. He's made "stars" out of Hans Kim and David Lucas by giving them the platform to say the most racist and outlandish "jokes," essentially profiting off their off-putting personalities. Hans is clearly on the spectrum, almost surprised that his off-color jokes get laughs. David makes it his goal to say things about racial issues so offensive, most of his videos are people walking out of his shows. 

This isn't standup. It's not even the circus. It's a WWE fan (Tony) turning his whole world into a weird porno where the comics become cucks to their own act. I was on a 2017 episode, when there was a bit more constructive criticism tucked away in the Belly Room, yet it has devolved into a cesspool of male toxicity, where women are sexualized, LGBTQ+ communities are mocked, and no one is getting paid except Tony and his henchmen. If that's your goal of reaching fame and fortune, by being a part of a certain to be doomed model, then go for it. But as for the rest of us, let's be better. 

Final Thoughts        
I hate bullying. I hated being bullied in junior high. I hated when athletes bullied other athletes when I coached. It's because I have felt that sting my whole life. The short, chubby, whimsical kid in school does get picked on. So as I built leverage in different industries, I made it my mission to create safe places. One of my 20 year old employees recently told me she used to be scared to come to work, but then I showed up and she's not afraid of members yelling at her because she knows I'm there to help and protect her. 

I had a male employee tell me recently I was the first boss he's had who he felt cared about him. Until me, he said he always felt disposable. It's important we remember our legacy is not the money we make, the rooms we play, or the special we produce. Our legacy is in how we treat people. When I think about how Hulk Hogan sold out every venue but when he died, millions said "I hope he's in hell." Yes, he had money and fame, but he died with millions hating him. 

There are bookers, producers, and comics today who "made it" but when they die, the world will forget about them. Mostly because they were bullies. 

​So as you keep climbing the ladder of success, I hope we all remember that those below us are not there to put our foot on to step up, but instead, they are there to catch us if we fall.