The Costs of Being a Professional Road Comic

​Most comics dream of being a professional comedian. The desire to travel the country (or world) from club to club getting paid to tell jokes is the ultimate goal after a comic starts getting good at stand up comedy. Yet, there are so many obstacles to becoming a professional comic, from traveling costs and logistics to gatekeepers to scheduling venues, many quit the dream when they start seeing a low rate of return. Plus, there are many definitions of what a full time professional comic looks like in this contemporary marketplace. So let's look at a few things to consider before you quit or job or worse - quit the dream. As someone who has spent the last decade in the stand up world and the last 18 years in the Hollywood industry, I can give you perspective more than I can give "fool proof" strategies to success. 

Comedian v. Professional Comedian Definitions 

If you do stand up, you're a comedian. You get on stage and tell jokes? You're a comic. Even if you don't get paid. Even if your only stage time is paid for through open mic fees and classes. You're a comic. And never let anyone take that title away from you. But if you aren't paid or make money off shows, then you aren't a "professional" comedian. Professionals get paid. Amateurs don't. There's nothing wrong with being an unpaid comic. But it's important for you and your psyche you clearly see the difference between the two. This will help with tracking progress and setting goals. 

Most comics who aren't paid for shows are labeled as "open micers" or just "micers." Snobby headliners or features will talk down to them, forgetting they were at that stage once too. But some jerk treated them less than human when they were climbing the comedy ladder, and they want to pay it forward as a form of self-validation. If anyone puts down your status as a comic, just know they aren't worth hanging with anyway. True headliners and established pros understand everyone is at a different place, and most acknowledge the elements of luck and chance playing into success.

Is the Pay in Stand Up Comedy Really Sustainable? 
One little open secret about "professional" comics is that stand up is not their only source of income. Comics, like actors and musicians, have side hustles and 9 to 5 jobs, just like most regular people. The difference is that their side hustles could range from teaching comedy classes to writing for other comics to being a part of a headliner's production team. Is comedy paying their bills? Yes. Is it just performing and collecting checks? Far from it. When I was running a comedy school, I was making enough to get by in LA, but if I didn't have all my paid comedy gigs, I really would have struggled. Both kept me afloat, but being on just the admin side or the creative side wasn't going to pay the rent. 

When I talk to my friends 20-30 years in, many have stories of family and spouses supporting their dream. Either a parent had a house they could live in for free, or their spouse made enough money to keep them housed while their extra $40,000-$50,000 a year doing comedy qualified them for slightly better housing. Meanwhile, other comedy friends were living with 3-5 roommates and rent was only a few hundred a month, and they were constantly living on the brink of homelessness. Driving Uber. Working the door of a comedy club for minimum wage. Slinging a hammer for cash. They could squeak by, barely paying rent, but gas and food became luxuries. Just because someone is killing it on stage, doesn't mean they're killing it in life.   

For one thing, a lot of road gigs aren't much money. Maybe $800 to headline and $400 to feature a weekend. If you can get through the NACA system, you could make $1500 to run an hour at a college. And while there is a romanticism to get passed by big clubs, often they only pay $50-$75 to showcase (sometimes). But keep in mind, the road gigs don't pay for travel. Sometimes they don't even cover food. Or it's a limited amount of free or discounted food. Let's say you drive 400 miles both ways for a gig, that's going to be $200 in gas. So your best bet to making the trip profitable is to book shows along the way. The problem is that the venues you can get into might not need talent when you're driving up. Plus, every stop will require additional lodging. Sure, you can fly, but when you get paid $1,000 for a gig, the flight might cost $500. After Ubering or renting a car to the venue, you might make a few hundred for the whole trip. Sometimes the math just doesn't math. 

Then there's what some venues require to book you. Don't even get me started on the requirements some venues have when it comes to followers on social media or pre-sales on tickets. Cruise ships require over an hour of material. Corporate gigs will give a list of topics you can't discuss. Once you get to the venue, you might have to adapt to the political, geographical, and demographical elements as well. All your "LA jokes" are useless in a city 400 miles away. Comedy is hard, and having the majority of the show on your shoulders can be difficult when a quarter of your act is thrown out thirty minutes before the show.    

Even If You Get the Dream Job - It's Still A Job 
While many dream of getting a calendar full of gigs, at some point it becomes job. You travel, book rooms, rent cars, and negotiate pay. That's why many give up on the road life and try to build a home in Hollywood or New York. A lot of comics dream of getting a writing job for a TV show. I know a lot of TV writers. I was a producer's assistant, which was a work-a-round to getting an extra writer at Nickelodeon at half the pay. It's long hours. The pay can be great, but you might not get up as much, since you're working late nights. And there will be long stretches of time you don't get paid on TV shows because of hiatus seasons. I know a lot of writers who gave up on stand up comedy because they had to bail on gigs due to late night writing sessions. So the irony is you are in the heart of the entertainment world, but you're a prisoner of your own success. You finally have the credit ("...writer on SNL...or The Tonight Show...") but you're working until midnight making other people funny. 

Maybe you can have a popular podcast, but that takes a lot of work too. Maybe you can make sketches and get paid through brand deals or social media packages, but that's a never ending cycle of creating disposable content. Plus, you have to be a bit of a fortune teller, making sure a year from now the sketch about losing weight doesn't get you in hot water to a society that hates "fat shaming." While "cancel culture" may or may not exist depending on the "crime," there is still a perception of it at times. And perception is everything in Hollywood.   

Sure, it's more "fun" than working your project management job, but every "job" still dominates your life at some point. The divorce rate in Hollywood is not an accident. Family can't always come first.  

Don't Quit Your Day Job...Unless You Want To Live Below Your Means   
I hate the expression "Don't quit your day job." It's such a rude way of telling someone you don't think they're good at what they do. I also hate it because it's a true statement that cuts like a knife through the dream of pursuing a career in the arts. Here's the thing, I've quit a few "day jobs" to give comedy my full attention. I quit a teaching job. I quit a project management job. I've also been laid off from jobs due to numerous reasons, forcing me to focus on my comedy and writing career. The only reason I can survive when this situation (by choice or not) happens is if I have savings. I have to have six months of savings as I try to build out my career.

Recently, after parting ways with Flappers, I've been able to do more road gigs, writing more articles to build my portfolio, and even create a high quality web series. I've submitted writing packets to late night shows and production studios looking for writers. The last seven months have been extremely productive. Not necessarily profitable. 

My saving grace is I can live below my means pretty well. The last seven months I haven't done anything "fun." No amusement park trips, sporting events, nice dates, or fancy restaurants. I live in a small apartment that I can afford. But even that gets dicey, and I've had friends and family help when money got tight. Money goes to necessities only. Many of you probably aren't willing to do that yet. And since I refuse to take loans or use credit cards to survive, it means every dollar gets analyzed and utilized - painfully.  

I've worked stages every week in 2024. I've performed in over 50 cities this year, and it's only July. I've performed over 150 shows this year. I know what the pay for none celebrity headliners is. In the words of Jesus, "Comics cannot live on road gigs alone." Okay, Jesus didn't say that. But had he been a comic, he would have.  

This is why a lot of comics have to do weird corporate gigs, cruise ships away from family members, and other gigs that have no limelight or benefit outside of keeping the lights on, in a house they never see. 

Final Thoughts
What I hope you get from this downer of an essay is that it's okay to treat stand up like a hobby. Even if it is an all consuming comedy. Many of your favorite comics struggle financially, and the ones who don't might have more support from friends and family than you would have info on. Don't feel like a "failure" because others aren't open about how they're doing. Everyone just assumes everyone is making it on their own. That's usually BS. People in all industries are "surviving" more than they are "thriving."  

I recently watched a documentary on Johnny Carson and learned he had four marriages, estranged grandchildren, and a DUI. He was worth $450 million on his deathbed, and yet NOT ONE PERSON was by his side when he died. His kids practically disowned him and his wife at the time was out of the country. Even if you reach the highest levels of success, you still might not find what you're looking for. 

​So just enjoy stand up for what it is. A chance to make people laugh. A way to fulfill your artistic side. And if that means you have to work a day job or take on side hustles, that's okay. It's unfair to yourself to put pressure on yourself to make a full time living when you aren't the one booking the shows or setting the pay. Stand up comedy really didn't start until the 1970's, and the kingmakers and gatekeepers change daily. No one really has a real roadmap to success. In the 1990's sitcoms were the goal. HBO Specials were the crowning achievement. Today, it's streaming or YouTube followings. So if you want to be a professional comic, keep at it, but remember, the real definition is just getting paid - in cash, not exposure.