Life has thrown a lot changes at me lately. And there has been a lot of ups and downs and unanswered thoughts. Faith is believing in the unseen. Having faith is hard. But not having faith is harder.

There are a few exceptional years in movie history. 1939 and 1941 are two amazing years, and 1993 had a series of important films, but if there is one year in cinema that changed everything, it was 1994.

1994 is responsible for Forrest Gump, Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption, The Lion King and Clerks.

1994 solidified Disney again as the animation kings, brought Jim Carry’s career to its peak (Dumb & Dumber, Ace Ventura, The Mask), created the modern independent filmmaker (Clerks, Pulp Fiction) and produced arguably three of the greatest films ever made in Shawshank, Pulp Fiction, and Gump.

If anything, the films of 1994 were the most influential since the golden era of the late 30’s and early 40’s (Gone with the Wind, Pinocchio, Citizen Kane).

Kevin Smith taught a whole generation that a film didn’t have to look great to be great. Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction defined the way filmmakers would create pop culture references and stylized violence, and The Lion King was an epic in ways previous Disney films weren’t. Plus, Pulp Fiction has the greatest ending in movie history.

Before 1994, Jurassic Park (1993) was the gold standard in $300+ million box office, but 1994 had a record number of $100+ million hits. And Jim Carry is in 3 of the top 20 films. He redefined what a comedy movie star was.

Look at that list...which doesn’t even include The Shawshank Redemption, which would go on in 1995 to become the video rental king. Plus, only 3 sequels are in the top 25 films (Clear and Present Danger, Star Trek, and Naked Gun), reminding us when Hollywood was pumping out original content more often.

1994 was also a year the Oscars helped build the myths of films. Whether it was nominating Shawshank for 7 awards, giving Tom Hanks his second Oscar in a row (1993 he won for Philadelphia), and giving Elton John three nominations for The Lion King and the win for Can You Feel the Love Tonight. The Academy also gave British films For Weddings and a Funneral and The Madness of King George a slew of nominations.

Looking back, 1994 was a great year in cinema, and arguably the greatest of all time. Four certifiable classics and the lasting influence on a whole future generation of filmmakers.

2018 was not a great year in cinema. But there were a lot of solid films. Here are my Top 10 and a few others worth your time.

1. Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

This is the film I’ll never forget. This documentary wasn’t in 3D. But the emotional response was a 3D experience. Mr. Fred Rogers is a national treasure, and this film reminds us that being kind is not as hard as we might think. This film is a reminder that there is good in the world, and we can be a part of it.

2. The Mule

Clint Eastwood gives us the performance of his life as a drug smuggler for the Mexican cartel. Here is a film that is both a tragedy of character and a metaphor for the career of Eastwood. The film is funny, fast, a full of life. I smiled from cheek to cheek watching the old man have the time of his life. It’s the sequel to Gran Torino we never thought we’d get.

3. If Beale Street Could Talk

Barry Jenkins makes his second masterpiece in this James Baldwin adaptation about being black in America. After winning the Oscar for Moonlight, he creates another masterpiece about a wrongly convicted young black man and the woman who loves him while carrying his child. The film is a visual feast as well as the best acted ensemble of the year.

4. Black Panther & Avengers: Infinity Wars

I’m putting both these films in a tie because neither film would have been as great without each other. Don’t get me wrong, Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther is a stand alone masterpiece of action and ideas on race and fatherhood, but without that Avenger universe out there, then this film would not have the added weight of higher stakes. Both films also had standout supporting roles. Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger and Josh Brolin as Thanos. Watching Killmonger’s rise and fall was both an acting tour de force and a beautiful social commentary, whereas Brolin’s Thanos is a pragmatic monster. His last scene, looking over his creation and being pleased by his annihilation of half the universe was as chilling as anything I ever saw in cinema.

I’ve been a Spike Lee fan for years. Malcolm X. Get on the Bus. Do the Right Thing. Bamboozled. All classics. But here he makes his most mainstream social justice crusade, and in that, he creates a funny, thrilling, complex commentary. The true story about how a black police officer and a Jewish police officer infiltrated the KKK is so wild and yet feels so plausible in Lee’s gifted hands.

6. Green Book

In 1989, Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing was the film that looked honestly at the current issues of race in America, whereas the best picture winner Driving Miss Daisy looked at race from an older perspective. Both were great films, but with very different objectives. Now 30 years later, and Green Book comes out being compared to Daisy, the same year of Blackkklansman. Yet what Green Book does so beautifully is see the humanity of both men in how they learn from each other in the unexpected ways. Both Viggo Mortensen and Mahershala Ali give award worthy performances in Peter “Dumb & Dumber” Farrelly’s sweet film about good people.

7. The Old Man and the Gun

Robert Redford is a national treasure, and this based on a true story movie about an old man who robbed banks without having to use his gun showcases all of his charms. Like Eastwood in The Mule, here is another great sending off performance. In many ways this film feels like a sequel to the life and times of The Sundance Kid.

8. Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Melissa McCarthy is becoming the most inconsistent and interesting actress today. She’ll make a broad comedy that doesn’t click one day and then blow up everything she’s ever done with the next picture, being the genius we know her to be. In this brilliant dramady about the counterfeit collectibles Lee Israel created to pay her rent and feed her cat is so sharp and biting, you can feel the condensation on the film reel.

9. Creed II

In 2016 I named Creed the best film of the year. Creed II is an equal film, but lacked that initial rush of excitement that the first film delivered. But how could this film match the idea of Rocky Balboa training Apollo Creed’s son? This film takes the emphasis off the fight between Adonis and Vicktor Drago, and instead, places it on the multiple father/son relationships. The humanity of the characters created by Sly Stallone is what is carrying this exceptional series through its new saga.

10. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

The Coen Brother’s sprawling western yarns delivered the biggest laugh of the year. When the happy go lucky Buster Scruggs defends himself in the opening story by kicking a table so it see-saws up, forcing his hostile gun toting opponent to shoot himself in the head repeatedly, I lost it. In six beautiful, violent, poignant stories the Coens mix in a lot of their trademarks and tricks for an ambitious western worth returning too.

There is usually an award given in film festivals to a film that didn’t make the cut for a top prize but was beloved by the judges. Roger Ebert used to give this out in his top film lists too. This year my pick is HBO’s beautiful and funny documentary Andre the Giant. Watching the great men of professional wrestling share stories and cry about the most famous wrestler of all time is touching and poignant. It’s a must see. Here’s a clip:

Biggest Surprises
The best film not to make my top ten was Bumblebee, a Transformers prequel that is a cross between Stranger Things and E.T....While I wasn’t a fan of Deadpool, I found Deadpool 2 to be a brilliant comedy and gentler film, allowing for more characterization and more gut busting laughs...I’ll admit I wasn’t excited at first about A Quiet Place, but this family-centered horror film about aliens that can hear you and swipe you up before you can scream again is the Get Out of this year.

4 Star Performances/3 Star Films
Many films are anchored by great performances, whereas the plot might be too formulaic. Some such films were Bradley Cooper’s efficient and uncynical music filled A Star is Born, with Lady Gaga and Sam Elliot giving great turns...William Defoe as Vincent Van Gough is pure bliss in At Eternity’s Gate...Ryan Gosling plays the stoic part of Neil Armstrong perfectly in the often cold film First Man, whereas Rami Malek gives a warm and welcome performance with his all in the not too factual Bohemian Rapisdy...But maybe the best acted/thinly plotted film of the year is The Favourite, gives Emma Stone, Rachel Weisz and Olivia Coleman the thickest roles of the year.

Movies that Understand Faith
Christian themed and Christian based movies are very hit and miss, with mostly missed outcomes. But I Can Only Imagine, about the popular song, and Boy Erased, about the evils of gay conversion camp, show people of faith coming to grips with the complexity of life, while also being smart, entertaining films, filled with memorable characters.


I’m Right, Everyone Else is Wrong
Every year there’s a film I love that everyone else seems to hate. This year’s film is Welcome to Marwen, directed by Robert Zemeckis and staring Steve Carrell as a victim of a brutal beating who uses his art to channel his lostness. It’s a messy, ambitious film. But with so fillms taking risks, I have to admire the beautiful message.

I feel that naming a few worst films is not productive. But there were a lot of “disappointments” — starting with Solo in May about a young Han Solo. It was a mess, forcing the Disney studio to re-evaluate its entire prequel model.

Vice is a film that means well, is fantastically acted, but is a broken compass. Christian Bale is a revelation as Vice President Dick Cheney, but director Adam McKay’s script feels disjointed and reads a tad too much like a friend who reads an article on a subject and won’t shut up about it.

Bruce Willis’ remake of Death Wish is just a mess from start to finish. At no point does this film say anything interesting about gun violence, nor does it have any fun with over the top violent set pieces.

From 10/29-11/02 I stayed at a beautiful monastery in Arizona. It was a wonderful way to relax, worship, and live in community amongst the monks, deacons, nuns, and volunteers. Here are some beautiful pictures.

I also was able to have a blast in Tombstone where the Battle of the OK Carrel happened.

Then I visited my best friend and his wife and he and I went to the Tucson Comic Con. I even got to meet Jake the Snake Roberts. And I reconnected with the Hooters twins I use for promotional materials. It was a wonderful weekend.

When I got home I had a box waiting for me on my front door. I figured someone bought me a birthday gift. I opened it up and found a waffle maker. There was only one problem.

After being disappointed that I didn’t own a waffle maker, I went the next morning to the apartment manager and found out the name Stacie was the girl who used to live in my apartment. I told the manager I’d take care of it. And that was the plan on Wednesday. Until...

My hometown community was destroyed by fire and firepower. Bullets slained 12 victims at Borderline Bar & Grill, including a former student’s father, a former student from a past school of mine, and other lovely members of my community. Plus many of my friends and family were evacuated or preparing to be. I was broken all day and night. Tears. Non stop tears of having no power.

But then there was Stacie’s waffle maker. UPS and the waffle maker company were no help. Neither would forward to the new address. I was told if I sent it back to the company, it would take weeks to get it back to Stacie. That was unacceptable.

In a world that went from pure joy, in which I felt in control to a nightmare outside of my control, the only thing I could do is make sure Stacie got her waffle maker.

So I repackaged it, took it to UPS, and forwarded it myself. Everyone told me I should have just dropped off at UPS and let them worry about it.

But I couldn’t. I needed to feel the ability to be in control, and somehow, this meaningless act of sending a waffle maker gave me the feeling that I can still help someone in some way.

What started as a dissapointed inconvenience became a THE very act that kept me sane.

2019 is just weeks away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start planning next year’s amazing vacation destinations! While cliché places like Hawaii or Cuba are always an option, these 5 destinations will provide you real adventure, romance, and family bonding.

If you love fine dining, the Arby’s in Pembroke Pines, FL will be an amusement park for your taste buds. This restaurant has repeatedly earned Yelp reviews ranging from 0 to 1 stars. Just look at the delicious food made from scratch.

The floor staff is known to be on break most of the time, allowing for the family to spend a lot of time complaining and bonding over the dining experience. Don’t forget your mace! Crime runs rampant!

If the sea is calling your name, then go “sea” a Doctor, because water can’t talk! But if you like to get wet, the Flint River Boat Tour and Swim Lessons Experience is the vacay of a lifetime. You’ll bathe in the rich ocean water and feel younger than ever.

Bring your friends and family along, as Captain Jack (no relation to Disney’s character) takes you to the best places Flint, Michigan has to offer. And after the tour is done, feel the refreshing cool water against your naked back in front of strangers and nomads.

You’ll never think about where your bodily waste goes down the toilet the same ever again!

Did you know Jesus rode dinosaurs! Watch out Jurassic World! Your park has some holy competition! Ken Ham’s Bonnie County, Kentucky “Museum” is filled with facts the liberal media doesn’t want you to know about! Bring the kids or bring your hot significant other. This museum, unlike The Getty, welcomes you with open arms. Tiny tiny T-Rex arms.

Here piggy piggy piggy! This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy went to the Hog Hotel. And that little piggy became bacon.

If you love hearing Jim Gaffigan talk about bacon, you’ll love this pig factory in the heart of China. The kids will love picking out their own little hog and hearing it scream in agony before eating it for breakfast or on a BLT the next day.

The Madonna Inn on the Central Coast in beautiful California is known for its romantic atmosphere and inspired theme rooms. Just look at these amazing room experiences:

Whether you want a futuristic or old fashion room, the Madonna Inn is your hideaway to that second honeymoon or first honeymoon or if you just want to have a night of intimacy without hearing the kids scream about some stupid video game you bought them last Christmas that you regret everyday purchasing because they fight about it all the time even though you got two controllers but noooooo they wanted another controller that was an extra $60 you can’t afford on your construction salary.

​I digress. The best kept secret room is the North Korean Room.

Spend the weekend in the underbelly of luxury with this real-to-life room. You’ll feel like a prisoner of love with that special someone. There’s no bed, so you’ll be frolicking on the floor without much of a choice. The room only costs $1600 a night, and all prodeceds go to the Glorious Leader in North Korea.

Make 2019 the vacation year of your dreams with these 5 destinations you won’t find in the AAA travel guide!

One year ago today my cousin Logan died. 25 years old, his vices took his life and our family has been dealing with the tragedy since then. As his oldest cousin on his mom’s side, my role was different than the other cousins. I was his babysitter, his tutor, and his oldest friend in many ways.

He allowed me to be silly when the other cousins wanted to be “cool.” As he got older, our relationship changed. I tutored him a couple summers, as he struggled with reading comprehension in early elementary.

He liked playing tricks on me. He once set off a couple fart bomb toys in my Jeep Cherokee. Boy was I mad. But he just laughed and I got over it.

Too often, as we age, our lives change and connecting with cousins and relatives becomes too challenging. People move. People get married. People become estranged. But Logan and I stayed in touch over the years. As his struggles grew, we did grow farther apart, but my busy schedule was just as responsible.

Believing that a member of the family will always be there cannot be the way in which we schedule family gatherings. All of us should be willing to make time, as we do not know when the last time will be.

The healing process after is hard. And anniversary dates such as today sworm up old feelings that got pushed down when being strong was the only acceptable emotional reaction.

I took Logan’s passing very hard. Realizing his life was no longer on this earth, but that his soul had moved on to God’s eternity, I didn’t do comedy or anything else for at least a month. I had some pre-committed shows in November that I did, but mostly, I read, I cried, and I processed the pain.

Yet each day since, I haven’t really come to grips with his passing. I simply just moved on. Recently, I saw First Man, about Neil Armstrong’s personal struggles while reaching the goal of landing on the moon. Watching his daughter die, as well as fellow NASA astronauts, he struggled through, and I started to tear up, thinking about his life and my cousin Logan. Grief might not be seen, but’s ever present.

I don’t know if we ever heal. As Frodo told Sam, “some wounds go too deep,” and the battle scars and missing limbs of the heart and soul cannot be replaced. But that’s why there is hope.

Hope is all we can have now. The hope that redemption and resturation is possible. Not the hope that Logan will return. King David said that message about his stillborn, “He cannot come to me, but I will go to him.” No, the hope I speak of is that a new day will come, a new sunrise will open up the skies of our spirit, and that we can honor him by not repeating the past, and helping those who face similar trials. Logan had lost some hope. Therefore I must honor him by hoping in a tomorrow I cannot see, and living as if I can accomplish his desired good works in how I live my life. With humor. With tenderness. With love.

He lived a short life, but a rich one, filled with love, adventure, and loyalty to his friends. My emotions stem from a place of leadership, as the eldest cousin, but my head knows that he would be the first to say to me, “You gotta move on, Paul. I made my choices. Now go make yours.”

So that’s all I can do and will do. And writing this blog is one way in which I move on. And next year I’ll report on how I’m doing again. Until I no longer feel that need.

For I know the journey is complex and doesn’t end in this life. We are not just food for maggots, as some may say, as Shakespeare wrote through his characters. I may not know what the other side looks like; I have an idea though, based on how I view God and his Son. And that gives me hope when I need it most.

As a “Clean” comedian, I’ve had some success. I’ve been passed at a few clubs because bookers can trust me not to offend the crowd ASAP, I’ve been on TV, I’ve gotten to host for major comics who require a clean opener, and I’ve made fans for being funny without having to go crass.

Jerry Seinfeld once said he didn’t want to do a joke if the swear word made it funny or if he couldn’t do it in The Tonight Show. That’s been my philosophy in comedy as well. Even though, as a Christian, I’m not a fan of public crassness on MY part, that was never the reason I went clean. I can talk about sex and dating without swearing, but I find so many talk about those issues, I wanted to stand out in some way.

But I have noticed a stigma and frustration among audiences when they come to see a “Clean” comedy show. Clubs and producers use that word “clean” to let audience members know they can come in peace, but that’s a huge problem to the show.

Once you call your show a “Clean Comedy Show” you might get business, but the show has lost any suspense of where the punchlines can go. I’ve been on a lot of clean comedy shows, and the audience and the comics are never at their best.

I’m not saying being clean in comedy isn’t funny. There are tons of funny clean comics, but the crowd loses the high wire feeling once the show promises there will be no surprises, swears, or sexual references. Sometimes what makes clean comedy work is because you think the punchline will be dirty and the surprise is in the clean joke.

But that’s gone once everyone knows the jokes will be clean. And if the comic goes dirty, the crowd sees the comic “breaking the rules” and then turns on them. So it’s a no win situation.

Same goes with “family friendly” comedy. I’m PG content at worst, but I don’t talk about “family stuff.” I don’t even know what family friendly comedy is. Is it magic? Silly act outs? Does a pet have to be on stage?

The same goes with “Christian comedy” — I find most Christian comics just make fun of their families and/or atheists. Not all. But a lot of it is sexist (making fun of the wife or husband) or based on preaching to the choir’s bias against liberals or non-believers.

I’m a Christian, but my jokes aren’t all about my Christianity. Because while Christianity influences everything in my life, it’s not the topic in everything in my life. But I find because I don’t make fun of things I wouldn’t make fun of naturally, that my material doesn’t translate to people who lost their connection to the real world, and now live in a bubble of hating others more than loving life.

In fact, one agent told me that you don’t even have to be Christian to be a Christian comic. You just have to tie God unto it and be inspirational. That sounds repulsive to me.

The real issue is that once you put an adjective in front of the word comedy, it’s no longer pure comedy. Instead of marketing shows as “clean” or “Christian” to protect the conservative snowflakes, just say “funny comedy! All are welcome!”

Then the show will have a bigger challenge than finding Clean comics - they’ll have to find funny ones.

A while ago I was hosting a show. The club fit 150 patrons. Six showed up for the late night Saturday show. I had just performed 20 minutes the night before in a bar to great response. So I know the material is fine. But on the night before the six, jokes weren’t cutting it.

I’ve performed before small crowds many times before. Most liked my conversational style and I had fun. But this group. Ugh.

So after the first 2-3 jokes fell flatter than Wild E. Coyote off a cliff, I looked at the crowd and said, “so you people don’t like jokes, huh?” The crowd was mostly black with two Latina girls as dates. They got my tongue in cheek joke. So I grabbed a raffle ticket and said “let’s go over the rules of the night...” and they started to laugh loud.

Then I went, “Since there’s only six of you, if you break any of the rules, I’m gonna be pissed.” More laughter. I told them where the bathrooms were and since it was 2018 they “could choose their own adventure...” More laughs.

Then I explained to them how jokes and audience response worked and did a mocking “hahahaha” and they started rolling.

Then I asked the sound guy, “How’s my time?” And they fell over.

I basically did this act for 9 minutes. Just riffing. Judging being funny. It was a good reminder that while I write a lot and try new things a lot, that just being the funny guy I was before standup is okay too.

When we think of the greats (Robin Williams, Richard Pryor, Bill Burr, Paula Poundstone etc.) they were funny. They were real. They went for broke.

​In anything you do in life, don’t be afraid to be you. You got this far, why back off now?

Those who know me well know I love talking about three things: Religion, Movies, and The Muppets.

Movies are a passion of mine. My Masters is in Film Theory. Which means I can’t make a film. But I can tell you why yours sucks.

Movies give us the power to live vicariously through other people and characters. Movies are metaphors and reminders of what we are going through and have been through. And a good movie can be a place of restoration when life beats us up.

One such film for me recently is Moneyball. The 2011 best picture nominee staring a brilliant Brad Pitt and a subtle Jonah Hill as Oakland A’s General Manager Billy Beane and a combo of operations mangers. Roger Ebert wrote in his review a fantastic analysis of their acting styles. Take a look at this inspirational trailer:

The film is about being undervalued and being unappreciated for revolutionary thinking in a tight spot. After the A’s made it to the World Series their best players fled to greener checks and Pitt and Hill’s characters use data analysis to put together a team that lost their first 11 games, won a record breaking 20 consecutive games, and tied for the best record in baseball.

When I was a wrestling coach, my best friend in wrestling Terry and I beat a lot of coaches playing “moneyball” — using our stats to create lineups that upset much better more talented teams. Forfeiting dual matches at weight classes to not give up takedowns and near falls that would hurt us if a tie score came down to criteria or to stop a snowball effect if we were losing too many in a row. It worked. A lot. Other coaches hated it. But 8 league titles and over 10 CIF Section titles later, we made our statements.

Right now in my my life I was recently put in charge of a massive project and I was overwhelmed. Until I watched two great movie scenes. One from The Martian about taking it one step at a time and one from Moneyball about remembering that the math can set you free. Here are both of them:

Whenever I got overwhelmed or panicked...these were the clips that reminded me of what I already knew. That if I just do the math I can solve impossible paths. Art is powerful. It’s a reminder that not all of life is natural. Somehow fake images of flickering light can inspire and move these natural bodies.

I truly believe that’s why God made the movies.