In the business world we have a phase "law of diminishing returns." Essentially, a business sells a product and people buy it but then they don't buy it again for a long while or not at all. Another way to look at this is you buy a product and use it once to great delight, but every time after it becomes a less pleasurable experience. Films and restaurant experiences are a great example of this. You see a movie once and every time after you like it less and less. And in your early days of comedy you might have gotten a handful or more of people to come see shows and now you're begging people to show up so the venue doesn't cancel. Well, your friends also feel a rate of diminishing returns seeing your shows, which is normal, but also ironic as you have probably improved a lot since they first saw you. So let's look at why your friends start dropping off and how to recover professionally and emotionally. 

Why Your Friends Stopped Coming
First, don't take it personal when those early supporters stop driving to your shows. After a few times spending hundreds in food, drinks, tickets, and parking they just can't keep dishing out their fun money on you. Plus, there's a good chance you dragged them to amateur night where you did five minutes and so did all the other bringers for the night. Even if there was a great closer (15-20 minute set by a decent comic), it still wasn't worth it since they could have had you tell them the jokes over dinner. 

Another reason people stop coming is because they probably don't feel the need to constantly support. Just like they probably only see their favorite band once or twice, why would they follow you from city to city? Another point similar to the previous is that you most likely book shows and THEN ask people to come, making it a chore for them to have to carve out time. There's nothing "organic" about it. On top of all of that, I bet your friendship decreased in personal time spent as you dedicated more time to comedy and less time to them. So they see comedy as a "home wrecker" in a way. 

​Often People Think You Should Be More Successful in a Few Years 
Here's the rub that they don't want to say out loud. In the first three or so years it's all very exciting for you and your friends. They get to tell people they know the comedian and they feel like VIP guests. Sometimes they get to see other comedians they know or like and your new hobby is much more fun to support as all your potential is up on stage. 

But a funny thing happens on the way to stardom - you don't actually get famous. You still have a day job. You might even have reduced your standard of living by driving Uber or working part time work to schedule more gigs. On one level you're climbing the ranks but only you and your fellow comics know it. To the outside world, you're still an amateur since you haven't been on The Tonight Show or Netflix. Your friends will never say this, but its what they're thinking. Even if you opened for the biggest star in the world, they'd still see you as an opener, regardless of the pay or venue.  

Time to Move On To Better Gigs 
Since I started doing stand up, 11 years ago, people have asked me how to get more spots at showcase clubs. I broke into the small clubs early on as a host and people assumed it was all the reasons except the one: The booker thought I was a good choice due to my teacher background and non-fame chasing energy. Too many comics are begging to open for a comic thinking that person will discover them. It rarely if never happens that way. I've opened for the biggest comics in the world, and they're all nice, and only a few ever asked me to open again for them. When you beg a booker for a spot to open for a bigger comic, just know they are thinking your are just seeking your own benefit. Maybe you are, which I fully support, but if you get in front of the A List comic, can the booker trust you not to ask to be on their podcast or open at future venues? 

I have a few writer buddies who get huge gigs, and it took me 10 years to feel comfortable to ask if I could pitch a joke for an awards show one was helping with. Because I don't want to ruin friendships by being "that guy."

So what do you do now? You get out of town! You stop worrying about local shows with 5 minute guest sets. Find venues that need seasoned comics. Find bars, casinos, and alt venues that need you more than they need your friends. When you're scrolling through socials and see a show that looks good, DM the name on the show you know. All they can do is pass on the booker's contact or say they can't. At least you know the process. 

But you can still ask. And I once had a very self-respected booker tell me never be scared to ask, because how else will he ever know when I'm free. He still hasn't booked me more than once, but rejection is part of the game.

Final Thoughts
While you might feel slighted by people as they become less enthusiastic in your journey, remember they didn't sign up for this - you did. It becomes your job to expand your career. Last year I did 200 shows, including multiple theaters. After sitting down with my accountant to figure out my taxes, I realized I had my best year in comedy but holistically, my finances were "unstable" at best. On paper my friends were excited about all my road gigs and were asking when I'll be in LA again. I sent them a few dates - but did they show? Of course not! So even after the Dry Bar, the road gigs, and the other notches on the old comedy status belt, they are done supporting shows. AND THAT'S OKAY. 

Jim Gaffigan doesn't ask all his friends to fill Madison Square Garden. And road comics don't gather the local neighborhood citizens to pack the Chucklehuts. At some point you will either pop with crowds or bookers or get cast in a show or...fill in the blank. 

​And then your friends will still be too busy. But at least you won't feel the need to ask them to validate your career. Remember, you aren't a comedian because your friends see your shows. You're a comedian because you get up and perform - regardless of the turnout or support.  

Over the past two months I've gotten to work in some big shows with some big headliners. As the producer/host for these shows, I know there is always the possibility the headliner shows up with two friends and my 15 minutes on stage turns into 5 minutes. It comes with the territory. Most shows I do are 20-40 minute sets, with some at an hour. But when the possibility of doing 5 minutes comes up, I get a bit nervous, mostly because, what in the heck do I want to do in a 5 minute set? This happens on all types of shows, and when your time gets cut, after you curse the comedy gods, you need to come up with a plan. 

When I was starting out, doing a tight five was the goal, but now, doing five minutes is harder because my brain wants to do a million different bits. Yet, a good comic has to have a 5, 10, 20, 30, and 40+ minute set ready. So let's breakdown the differences between what a 5 minute set does verses a 30+ minute set. 

Getting to the Point is Key 
When doing a 5 minute set, I have to have the opening joke ready. That first joke is so much more crucial than a longer set. If you get up on stage and fool around with crowd work, you'll find yourself potentially flailing early on without much time to recover. Know the the first thing you want to say and say it. If you are opening the show, after a quick welcome, make sure you get them laughing in a few seconds. If you are a guest set after the host, then either tag the host or do your thing. Waiting to "find the funny" on stage is the fastest road to death by guest set. 

Stay Away From Stories 
Maybe you're a storyteller comic and that's your bread and butter. I'm a storyteller comic, but I also have ten minutes of rapid fire setup-punch jokes for when my time has been cut. While your story might always "kill," ask yourself "when do I usually tell it?" If it's at the 8 or 15 or 20 minute mark, you've already established your stage presence. In a 5 minute set, you don't have that luxury. And, if the story doesn't land, there's no recovery. You're trapped in a story that sucks up 2-3 minutes of time. Why would you waste so much time with exposition when the crowd is sitting there waiting for laughter?   

Think In Laughs Per Second 
I know this seems weird, because comedy isn't a mathematical science. But think of five minutes as laughs per seconds, not laughs per joke. The worst 5 minute set should be a laugh every twenty seconds. That's 3 punchlines a minute. That's 15 good laughs. Doesn't sound that great, right? If you tell long jokes with no tags, you might get 5-7 laughs per set. 

Now, if you aren't trying to impress anyone, and you don't care, then who cares! But if you're reading this, then you want to succeed. And if you only get 5 minutes, the fasted way to impress is to have 4-5 jokes per minute. That's 20-25 laughs. Sounds a lot better, no? 

Choose Topics People Naturally Get    
I have a lot of alt comedy friends with great jokes about 1980's movies, weird video games, and silly products they have to explain on stage. But they know those jokes don't work in a 5 minute set. Why? Because they know people blurt out questions, and they need the time to give the bit an the audience the fair amount of time.   

Choose topics where the setup clearly creates an image in their head. Keep the topics and premises easy to understand. Don't fall into the trap that you'll be the most original comic on the show. I've seen comics try alt stories, weird props, and songs, only to fail in a 5 minute bit where those jokes thrived in a 20 minute set. 

Can I Prepare For 5 Minute Sets? 
John Wooden once said "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail." By having your best 20-25 jokes ready to go, you'll feel better when your time gets cut or you get a great guest set opportunity. Showcases, festivals, and auditions still like the 5 minute format, so be ready for those times when you are asked to do shorter sets. 

One thing you can do is ask friends who run shows for a 5 minute spot once a month, just to tune up incase you get asked to do one. Another thing to do is go to an open mic and run your five minutes to time it out. It really should be 4 minutes and 20 seconds to 4 minutes and 30 seconds to leave room for laughter. Never prep for a pure 5 minutes, as many things can occur, and you need the freedom not to rush. 

Maintain Your Normal Energy 
This brings me to my final tip, which is to still perform like you would if you were doing your normal 10 to 30+ minutes. Don't rush the jokes. Don't feel the pressure to get to everything. And if you have to switch to dealing with hecklers, either ignore them or engage if you know you have a quick retort. 
I'll give you an example. I was recently hosting a show and got the light. The set was going great by all accounts, and going into my final joke a about being heckled at an old folks home, a guy yells out, "Who are you? Larry David?"

Now, I could have made a joke about the heckle, but with the clock ticking, I finished the joke, knowing most of the 200+ audience never heard him. "Finish strong" went through my head and I did. In my younger days I might have tried to say something, giving me little time to recover. 

Final Thoughts
Whether you're doing a long or short set, you have one job - to get laughs. And you want to always present your brand of comedy as the same regardless of the time allotted. You want to have a plan, yes, but you want to show the maturity to be fluid and move with the nature of the show. While no one ever really got famous off a 5 minute hosting or guest set, if you can master it, higher level comics will see your skill set and start thinking about you for other gigs down the road. 
So start preparing now so you can maximize your success later! 

Sunday March 2, 2025 the Academy Awards will hand out Oscars in 23 categories. Some years like 2024 and 2022 we can predict most award winners with certainty. But this year it's an open race with Emilia Perez leading with 13 nominations, but after the star, transgender woman Karla Sofia Gascon was discovered to have sent out a series of ugly racist tweets, the film's chances of winning were cut down immediately. That opened up the door for early favorites Anora and Conclave as well as late comers Wicked and The Brutalist to take the front runner spot. But a funny thing happened on the way to The Dolby Theater - the awards shows split up the top prize, causing as much uncertainty as the conclave picking a Pope. 

If I had it my way, I'd be giving The Brutalist the top spot, but in reality I'm fine if it's just anything but Emilia Perez. The supporting actor awards have been sweeping while the lead acting awards are going back an forth. SAG and BAFTA through a few wild cards and curve balls, stopping Anora's late season surge. And I'm still convinced Wicked could defy gravity and just get that last minute win with a nice package of tech awards and the top prize. 

Here are my predictions for the 2025 Academy Awards. These aren't my personal favorites, just who I think will win based on precursor awards (Producer's Guild, Screen Actor's Guild, Writer's Guild, Director's Guild, Critic's Choice, BAFTA, and Golden Globes) and my own gut feeling. So here are my picks. If you win any money in the Oscar pool at work, be a mensch and give me 10%!     
My Picks Are In Bold

Best Picture
Anora
The Brutalist
A Complete Unknown
Conclave 
Dune: Part Two
Emilia Pérez
I’m Still Here 
Nickel Boys
The Substance 
Wicked 

It comes down to three films that won the big prizes: Anora (WGA, DGA, PGA, Critics Choice), Conclave (BAFTA, SAG), and The Brutalist (Golden Globes - Drama), and it could really go to any of them. After Wicked didn't win the Globe or SAG, it has to hope the sequel gets the LOTR treatment next year, and the Golden Globe winning Emilia Perez became toxic after the Karla Sofia Gascon tweets went viral. In the end, Conclave is a well liked, "weightier" film with a timeless feel. Plus, the ensemble is just too good and beloved to ignore in a year of so much parity.     

Directing
Jacques Audiard (Emilia Pérez)
Sean Baker (Anora)
Brady Corbet (The Brutalist)
Coralie Fargeat (The Substance)
James Mangold (A Complete Unknown)

This one is completely up for grabs even though Baker won the DGA. With Corbet winning the BAFTA and Golden Globe, that combo is pretty tough to beat, considering Baker wasn't winning many prizes until the end here.  But with Edward Berger getting snubbed for Conclave, that leaves space for a director whose film might not win Best Picture. In the end, Baker winning DGA and Cannes director award in May, I think the Academy will follow suite and give him his flowers here. 

Actor in a Leading Role
Adrien Brody (The Brutalist)
Timothée Chalamet (A Complete Unknown)
Colman Domingo (Sing Sing)
Ralph Fiennes (Conclave)
Sebastian Stan (The Apprentice)

It looked like Brody had this locked in after winning the BAFTA, Golden Globes, and Critics Choice awards. Then Chalamet took the SAG and now it's anyone's guess. The SAG has predicted best actor 24/30 years now, with only Chadwick Boseman (2021) and Denzel Washington (2018) winning SAG but losing on Oscar night in the last ten years. But I think Brody has enough precursor love and a great comeback narrative to pull through.    

Actress in a Leading Role
Cynthia Erivo (Wicked)
Karla Sofía Gascón (Emilia Pérez)
Mikey Madison (Anora)
Demi Moore (The Substance)
Fernanda Torres (I’m Still Here)

What makes this race so interesting is that it's basically the two versions of Demi Moore in The Substance, with Madison in the Sue role. I think if the Academy goes with Madison, they will completely undercut the entire message of the body horror satire. Even though Madison won BAFTA and Indie Spirits, Moore has Critics Choice, Globes, and SAG. It's her time, and after 20 years in actor purgatory, she's due a big comeback win.  Side Note: Torres could surprise as the Academy loved I'm Still Here more than any other awards body, but with all the crossover voters giving the other actresses votes all season, she might have came on too late. 

Actor in a Supporting Role
Yura Borisov (Anora)
Kieran Culkin (A Real Pain)
Edward Norton (A Complete Unknown)
Guy Pearce (The Brutalist)
Jeremy Strong (The Apprentice)

Keiran Culkin has won Critics Choice, SAG, BAFTA, Indie Spirits, and the Golden Globes, plus nearly every critics award. He's 38 years old, been acting for 30+ years and is clearly beloved. He wins in a landslide. 

Actress in a Supporting Role
Monica Barbaro (A Complete Unknown)
Ariana Grande (Wicked)
Felicity Jones (The Brutalist)
Isabella Rossellini (Conclave)
Zoe Saldaña (Emilia Pérez)

Saldana has swept the awards season, and like Culkin, she has won at every major televised awards show. It's in the bag for her.  

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
A Complete Unknown
Conclave 
Emilia Pérez 
Nickel Boys
Sing Sing 

While Sing Sing had more heart, and a great narrative with the one time prisoners writing the script, Conclave won Golden Globes, BAFTA, and the USC Scripter. Give this film the white smoke. 

Writing (Original Screenplay)
Anora
The Brutalist 
A Real Pain 
September 5 
The Substance

I might be wrong, but something tells me A Real Pain will win over three Best Picture nominees. Anora won WGA. The Brutalist hasn't won a major screenplay award. The Substance won Critics Choice and Cannes. But A Real Pain won BAFTA and Indie Spirits. That's a lot of industry support. Plus with Culkin's supporting actor win, this would be a nice double win, like The Usual Suspects in 1996 when Kevin Spacey won and the film won screenplay. The safe money is on Anora, but since I don't think it pulls out Best Picture, I have to give it to the script with the "most script." 

Animated Feature Film
Flow
Inside Out 2
Memoir of a Snail 
Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl 
The Wild Robot 

It looked like Flow was going to upset the season after winning the Golden Globe, but The Wild Robot has three total nominations, including sound and score. Plus it got nominated for the USC Scripter Award, a huge honor for adapted screenplays. 

International Feature Film
I’m Still Here (Brazil)
The Girl With the Needle (Denmark)
Emilia Pérez (France)
The Seed of the Sacred Fig (Germany)
Flow (Latvia)

Emilia Perez has 13 nominations, and that means very little when the star of your movie is now the greatest villain in awards season history. EP could still win, but I'm predicting I'm Still Here, a much more traditional international film winner with a beloved actress giving a top five performance of the year, in a true story that celebrates Latino resistance instead of playing into broad stereotypes like the French film.   

Documentary Feature Film
Black Box Diaries 
No Other Land 
Porcelain War
Soundtrack to a Coup d’Etat
Sugarcane

I've seen none of these films, but since Porcelain War won DGA and the other four haven't won a major award, it's a simple process by elimination. No Other Land never got distribution, even though it's a critical darling, and Sugarcane could upset, but again, it didn't win anything to prove it has a clear fanbase. 

Cinematography
The Brutalist
Dune: Part Two 
Emilia Pérez 
Maria
Nosferatu 

So this one is an exciting award to follow as Maria won the American Society of Cinematographers Award, beating out the films its pitted against. Dune won this a few years ago. The Brutalist was the favorite with it's amazing tour of the world, but then Nosferatu won BAFTA. Yet, when voters go down the line, I think they'll pick the film with the best chance to win best picture, and that's The Brutalist. 

Costume Design
A Complete Unknown
Conclave 
Gladiator II 
Nosferatu 
Wicked 

Had Gladiator II earned more nominations, it might have been the favorite, having won this award in 2001 for the original film, but there's no way it repeats here. This award should go to Wicked, with all the magically colored dresses, school uniforms, and love for the visuals of John M. Chu's fantasy. 

Film Editing
Anora 
The Brutalist 
Conclave 
Emilia Pérez 
Wicked

If Conclave wins editing, it's winning Best Picture. If anything else takes this, which Wicked and all those dance numbers could, then Anora or The Brutalist is taking the top prize. If Anora or The Brutalist wins this award, then look for them to sweep the night away. But I'm officially on the Conclave train.  

Makeup and Hairstyling
A Different Man 
Emilia Pérez 
Nosferatu 
The Substance 
Wicked 

The Substance has won every time its been in this category across the awards season. This film made two gorgeous actresses look like hideous monsters. It's too perfect a job to not award.  

Production Design
The Brutalist 
Conclave 
Dune: Part Two 
Nosferatu 
Wicked 

The Brutalist is about production design, so it should be sweeping, but Wicked has all those great sets alluding to the Broadway musical and the original 1939 classic The Wizard of Oz. The Academy might not be able to award the sequel Wicked For Good if there isn't much variation, so expect them to give the tech team as many as they can Oscar night. 

Sound
A Complete Unknown 
Dune: Part Two 
Emilia Pérez 
Wicked 
The Wild Robot 

Check this out: Dune: Part Two, Emilia Perez, Wicked, and The Wild Robot all won sound awards in their respective categories at The Golden Reel Awards, and A Complete Unknown won the Sound Mixing Award at the Cinema Audio Society Awards. So every film has won the top sound award they could, making this a hard one to choose. I would give it to A Complete Unknown for those epic concert scenes, but I think the bigger the better, and Dune 2 is as big as it gets. 

Visual Effects
Alien: Romulus 
Better Man 
Dune: Part Two 
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes 
Wicked 

If the Oscar voters want to award Wicked everything possible, then the upset win would be the beloved prequel, but Dune 2 has those sand worms that are beyond stunning. 

Music (Original Score)
The Brutalist 
Conclave 
Emilia Pérez 
Wicked 
The Wild Robot

It's the gong heard around the world. The Brutalist's score is already a fan favorite and the most memorable. I will say this, if Conclave or Wicked pull this out, then The Brutalist might not win anything.   

Music (Original Song)
“El Mal” from Emilia Pérez 
“The Journey” from The Six Triple Eight 
“Like a Bird” from Sing Sing 
“Mi Camino” from Emilia Pérez 
“Never Too Late” from Elton John: Never Too Late

Diane Warren has 17 nominations with The Journey, but she'll have to wait for number 18 as "El Mal" has swept the season. With 13 Oscar nominations, Emilia Perez will most likely win two awards. 

Animated Short Film
Beautiful Men 
In the Shadow of the Cypress 
Magic Candies 
Wander to Wonder 
Yuck!

I've seen all 5 films here, and I would pick Magic Candies if I was a voter, but Wander to Wonder won BAFTA and has Toby Jones doing voice work, meaning there's a little star power behind it. 

Live-Action Short Film
A Lien 
Anuja 
I’m Not a Robot 
The Last Ranger 
The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent

I've seen none of these, but Netflix put Anuja on their platform, giving it the most exposure. 

Documentary Short Film
Death by Numbers 
I Am Ready, Warden 
Incident 
Instruments of a Beating Heart
The Only Girl in the Orchestra 

Titles are important and how could you not vote for The Only Girl in the Orchestra? I Am Ready, Warden is the favorite, but is slipping in Oscar pundit odds every day. 

Total Wins Predictions:
Conclave - 3
The Brutalist - 3
Emilia Perez - 2
Wicked - 2 
Dune: Part 2 - 2 
The Substance - 2 
A Real Pain - 2 
I'm Still Here - 1
Porcelain War - 1  
Anora - 1
The Wild Robot- 1
The Only Girl in the Orchestra - 1
Wander to Wonder - 1
Anuja - 1 

I usually get 75% to 80% right every year. This year I'm not going 100% but maybe I'll do it next year! 
What are your picks? 

It is the best of problems, and it is the worst of problems: You've accidently double booked yourself! There are a million ways this could happen, and everyone has done it, so don't worry too much. While stand up comedy is something you might see as your career or future career, it's not as ridged as a 9 to 5 day job where if you book a doctor's appointment you have to get three supervisors at work to approve missing an hour of your week. While it can still be a very frustrating situation and cause anxiety, as long as you are open and honest, you'll be fine. Bookers deal with this a lot, but there are best practices depending on the situation. Here are a few things to consider when dealing with having too many venues wanting you on the same night. 

When You Accidently Double Book 
You get an email for a show in one month. It even pays. You're excited. Then you go to your calendar and realize you agreed to do a show somewhere else. You like both gigs equally. You're living out Sophie's Choice in the world of comedy. In this case, you have a few things to consider. 

1) Which venue gives me the most work?
2) Which venue has the most opportunities for future gigs?
3) Which booker responds the easiest to adjustments?
4) Which show is paying the most?
5) Have I canceled on this booker before?   

In an ideal world, you wouldn't have to ask these questions, but in an ideal world you wouldn't be double booked. If someone has been really loyal to you, then consider that. If the other show has access to comics you always wanted to work with, then think about that upside. If this is becoming a pattern with a booker, and you've canceled before, maybe don't cancel again, right? And do not discredit pay, as you have to make rent. 

Regardless, make a choice as quick as you realize what you've done and cancel the show that you weighed as less favorable. Email or DM quickly, with a short message: I'm so sorry, but I realized I double booked. Would I be able to reschedule? I'm free on ______. Again, I'm so sorry, and I'll never let that happen again.     

Then make sure you never do that again to them. If they don't want to rebook you, that is their prerogative. You put them in a tight space and added work to the show producing. But I've found most bookers are fine if you give them enough time. If they can't rebook you, wait a few months and just approach like you would a rebooking. More than likely they will have forgotten the canceling.  

When You Knowingly Double Book 
Now, let's say you get a booking and someone calls you up and asks you to be on their show. You know you're booked. You wanted that booking. But this other booking offered is also great. Here's what I'll say, the comedy gods tend to be kinder to accidental double bookings then to comics always looking for the better opportunity.

If you are booked for a show and venue sends a message requesting you to be on a show, just know you can say "I'm booked, but an other date down the road looks great. Can you shoot me a few dates you're looking to book?" 

While double booking and canceling the other shows seems no different than the accidental booking, keep in mind, you're training yourself to lie and be deceptive. And those type of characteristics bleed into other areas of your life. I can almost always tell when a comic cancels authentically and when its clear they think my show was their back up plan. 

If the new show isn't able to work with you on a better date, and you feel the need to cancel, again just email or call immediately. 

But there is one exception: If you work with an organization regularly, as a host, sound person, feature, etc. I would call if you are permanently leaving. Whenever I left a producer I was working with quarterly or weekly, I would call them and talk on the phone as a courtesy and sign of respect. The type of working relationship you have should have different ways in which you address these hard situations. Plus, this way you know you're getting a receptive response. Sending a message into the abyss might not get to them in time or leave more questions than answers.     
The basic golden rule: Do unto comics and bookers as you would want them to do unto you.    

Beware of Comics Who Say Yes But Don't Mean It 
On a side note, there is a tendency in some comics to agree to shows, even in writing, but not plan to go unless they feel up to it. There was a comic I used to book a lot, but I realized when I sent my Monday reminder message after locking him in weeks before, he'd always go "I'm sorry I forgot!" Once I didn't send a reminder and he never showed. I realized what he was doing - He was agreeing and only going to attend if I reminded him AND he hadn't booked something "bigger." 

While it's a hard realization that your show is expendable to some, I also know my shows have been a great experience for others. Behavior is a language. Believe them when they flake multiple times, and I've seen these comics have a good run, but eventually dry out of gigs because they assume the shows they didn't respect will always want them or ask them down the road. That's just not the case. Training yourself to be unprofessional will bleed into other areas of your career, so don't become "that guy."    

When You Have to Cancel a Gig For Personal Reasons 
Let's say tragedy occurs or you find out your family is having a birthday party for your dad and no one told you until a few days before - if you can get out of the show, tell the booker what happened. Over the past decade I've had road gigs I had to cancel because I was in the hospital, because my family had a party I wasn't aware of until days before, and even weddings where I had to attend. I simply messaged them and told them clearly what happened.

Personal business might seem like none of their business, but I believe in transparency in these situations. Writing "Hey, something personal came up, I can't make next week" sounds like a fishy situation, and I just won't reach out again. But if someone writes, "Hey, my family member needs me to take them to the hospital" or "My job is making me come in tonight, I'm so sorry" - I feel sympathy and try to rebook them as soon as I can. 

I've had to cancel because of a family death one time, so if someone has similar events, I immediately sympathize. With that said, I've also missed parties, said no to dates with women I liked, and went in later that night to work after telling my boss I need to be at the show. Sometimes we have to sacrifice to make it. It's case by case, but the more honesty you display, the better off you'll be.    

Final Thoughts   
Canceling a gig is never easy, but having to because you double booked that night makes it even more embarrassing. But stick with the general rule of being as professional as possible, and don't forget that everyone has done this. Comedy is a hard industry to navigate, and we all fear missing out on the next big opportunity. But if you just relax, communicate clearly, and remember your career won't end because you need to change your booking agreement, you'll have a much longer career than those who let these moments eat them up inside.    

​With that said, if you ever double book or cancel on me, you'll never work in this town again! (Please read in evil sarcastic voice). 

​It was recently Valentine's Day. For some it's a great week of being with the one you love. For other's it's the constant reminder that you are an unlovable creature wreaking of desperation and the failure of your mother's eye. But if you are doing stand up, you're probably feeling tempted to do relationship humor. And I mean the dating, marriage, sexual kind of stuff. The more tormented the material the better, they say. But here's the thing, if it becomes too mean spirited you find yourself turning the crowd against you or isolating yourself from from a portion of the crowd. That's fine if you have a fan base, but if you're trying to become a regular at a venue, you'll have to play both sides, if only to create an atmosphere that keeps them wanting more and the bookers happy. So here are things to "think about" - as opposed to hard rules - when talking about relationships on stage. 

Dress the Way You Want to Be Seen
When doing any type of relationship humor, you need to dress the part. If you want to be the slacker who doesn't understand your girl, dress like that. Want to be the mom who takes charge in the marriage, then look like you can take charge. Too often we lose the ability to sell a joke because we say we are X but look like a Y. The first half of my career, I was a sloppy and poorly dressed middle age guy who couldn't get a date. After my heart condition and dropping my first 50 pounds, the sweaty mess look didn't apply to me. All my jokes about women didn't work. I had to scrap them. When I started joking about dating women I met on Bumble, I wasn't doing well, until I started wearing a suit jacket and collared shirt. Suddenly, the crowd BELIEVED I was dating multiple women on dating websites. Just a small adjustment, but the clothes you wear have to match the way you talk about your love (or lack of) life.

Be Prepared To Annoy Half the Crowd If You Side With One Sex Too Much
I'm always amused when a comic trashes men or women exclusively and then looks at the crowd and goes, "Come on, we're at a comedy show!" Yes, and comedy shows have...wait for it...BOTH men and women! The real secret is to take a bit and tease one sex for 80% of the time, and then you want to put the punchline on the other sex at the end. If it is only one sided, you'll find that the balance is lacking, and the crowd will feel uncomfortable laughing, except the groups of guys or group of ladies out together. 

One trick is to this with political or religious jokes first, so the audience trusts your structure. You're trying to get the crowd into a "trance" to know when to laugh or applaud. After a few years you shouldn't be too surprised by the results. So if you make fun of Republicans, then make fun of Democrats at the end. George Carlin and Bill Maher do this really well. "Republicans are evil, and Democrats are stupid" is their template. If you mock Christians for 80% of the time, throw atheists under the bus. Pete Holmes does this perfectly with his deconstruction of the "we come from nothing" argument. 

This way when you take on one sex, the crowd becomes excited to see you go after the other sex at the end. Jim Gaffigan does this really well. "My wife is a genius but she nags and makes me do stuff and yells at me...but I'm also so lazy." That's the template to getting everyone on board.   

When you start to build a fan base, or the show has a particular theme that allows for a complete one sided thrashing on one group, then the stage is yours to do as you please. But, for the newbie, you might want to pepper the set with a few twists that get everyone on board. 

Don't Get Too Sad on Stage
I've been working with a few comics lately, and I found myself making the same note: Your tone is sadder than it is funny. While comedy can come from a place of pain, the end result must have laughter. Whether it's a surprise self realization, a silly act out, or just a classic exaggeration/comparison punchline, don't forget to end with the crowd laughing. I've made this mistake so many times, that some jokes I buried because I realized I wasn't over the situation. Some of it was classic relationship stories, but some was stuff I later worked through in therapy.

It's why I always say COMEDY ISN'T THERAPY - because there's no treatment. Comedy, when done destructively, becomes a loop in your head, like a sad character in a Bruce Springsteen song. Stand up takes the mud of pain and spins it into comedy gold. Speaking your truth is "part" of the journey - the other part is finding humor through your own red flags and misunderstandings.      

Final Thoughts
Relationship humor is one of the fastest ways to get an audience invested in your set quickly. In the words of Larry Flynt in the film The People vs. Larry Flynt, "...sex is legal [and] everybody is 'doing it' or everybody wants to be 'doing it.'" When you have an evergreen topic that deals with something everyone has an opinion on, it naturally builds tension and interest. The key is to keep it truthful and believable, while finding that balance in traditional stand up tricks of the trade. 

​If you find your relationship material isn't working, you can try one "hail Mary" play I used to do in my earliest years. I'd ask the crowd if they believed what I just said. Especially at bar shows. One guy yelled out: "It's too obvious! You look like you don't get laid!" This helped me reframe the jokes as I'm trying without actually working on me. That point of view changed everything. Today my dating material is trying to get comfortable with women actually liking me. As you grow, your point of view expands. So keep in mind the dating and marriage jokes from a few years ago should be more meaningful and richer by now. If they aren't, then go back to the source of those stories and jokes and find the new truths you neglected years ago when first starting out.