Most of us want to reach the highest levels of fame. I don't care where you are in your comedy, acting, improv, or music career - you want that big paycheck. Or you at least wouldn't oppose it. And that's not a bad thing. Ambition is a wonderful motivator. It's ambition that helps guide us and help track our success. It's hard to take a proper inventory of our life's accomplishments if we don't have a measuring stick. But is there a cost of reaching our highest levels? We know there is, intellectually speaking, but emotionally we tend to ignore the red flags and sometimes push away those we are supposed to put before our own ambition. 

This is the reason I so enjoyed the new Netflix film (debuting on 12/5) called Jay Kelly. It's Noah Baumbach's comedic meditation on the life of the rich and famous. In this story, it's the title character played by George Clooney who is examined for his choices - most of them ambitiously selfish and with real world consequences. And I highly encourage you to watch it both for its entertainment value and for it's meta deconstruction of reaching the highest point of the mountain of success, only to find it lonely and cold at the top. 

Fame Destroys Family and Friendships 
When we meet Jay Kelly at first, he's a beloved actor on set. The cast and crew love him. He's a star. But soon we see how his daughters view him. One daughter no longer wants to talk to him. The other appears embarrassed by him. There are whispers of ex wives we never meet and there are friends from his past who feel betrayed by him. 

One character many of us can relate to is Billy Crudup as Timothy, a former roommate of Jay's who was the top student in their acting class. Jay betrayed him in their youth and they have a confrontation over which side of the story is true. Plus there is the dying director who gave Jay his big break, but Jay isn't willing to help him get his last project off the ground. Anyone who has been in this game for over 5 years years knows these characters in real life. 

Watching one comic skyrocket into the stratosphere as you have to sit back can be deflating, especially when you were considered the stronger comic. And not wanting to return a favor because it no longer suits you is a struggle many of us face as we climb the ladder or become the victim of as others get passed at clubs. 

I know I've made numerous professional and personal sacrifices to do what I get to do. And watching so many comics quit after years of work because they couldn't make any breakthroughs is hard. And when you feel them being a bit jealous of the success - it's tougher because they were supposed to be happy for you (and for "us" we tell ourselves). 

On top of that, dealing with missing out on friends and family events because of prescheduled gigs is hard to explain. Normal people have their weekends open for weddings and parties. If I'm at a wedding, I'm the officiant. If I go to a party, then that means I'm not making money that weekend. This life is not for those who want normal. Having a healthy relationship is nearly impossible if you're on the road every other weekend. What I appreciated about the film is that it doesn't shy away from the bitter sweetness of the success to loneliness ratio. 

Your Best Friends Are Often Tied To Your Success 
The best relationship in the film is between Jay Kelly and his manager Ron, played by an enduring Adam Sandler. The constant elephant in the room is that all of the people who stick around Jay are paid to be there. Yes, they might be friends, but it's attached to a 15% commission. So many times in stand up you realize your friendship with a comic was tied to your ability to book them for shows, drive them to gigs, or pay for their open mic spots. Not all, but you tend to see how once your service is no longer needed or can be provided, you no longer are part of their lives. 

This goes both ways. In the film, Sandler's Ron finds out Jay didn't invite him to a party for his daughter, while Jay was invited to numerous events in his family's life. It's this reality that always makes you second guess a person's loyalty. 

I've personally noticed this in my life. When I'm booking a lot of shows, I get more DM's. When I'm not, I might not even get responses to my "Hey what's up" messages. It's a sad reality that many comics are social climbers, and this film plays that up well. At the end of the day it's a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" industry, and Baumbach questions the value of that type of relationship with pathos and humor perfectly. 

Fame is a Drug Many Want To Hit Again and Again
At the heart of the film is Jay's relationship to fame. He's beloved by strangers, while being reviled by friends and family. No wonder he hides in his public persona from his responsibilities as a man, husband, and father. It's just easier to walk the streets and have people fawn over you. 
I can tell you, it's quite a rush doing gigs on the road and people want to take a picture with you after the show. Why would I want to be at home or working a thankless job where no one wants to take a picture with me. 

Women routinely ask me if I want to get a drink after the show. Men ask questions about stand up to live cathartically through me. Younger comics ask for advice. Back home, I'm just a broke guy who struggles to get by. But in the middle of the country, I'm a celebrity. And I'M NOT EVEN FAMOUS. I'm just the night's entertainment. And they love me - for a moment. 

In the film, Jay has a requirement in his contract that wherever he goes the venue or production must provide him cheesecake. He doesn't even like cheesecake. It's a classic metaphor of the overabundance of praise celebrities receive - sometimes not even wanted. On the road, there's free food, free drinks, and access to areas of the club and venue others never get to see. But once you no longer are on the bill, that access gets cut off and you're reminded of your place in the universe. 

There is nothing quite like seeing your face all over a casino in lights, only to see a new comic's face in the same place the Sunday morning you check out of the hotel.  

Final Thoughts
With Jay Kelly coming out this week, I encourage you to make time for it and reflect on your own ambitions and goals. It's a complex film that argues the pros and cons of seeking a life of fame. You might be celebrated one day and discarded out the next. Many of us might find ways to relate to the Jay character, but in reality many of us are the Billy Crudup and Adam Sandler characters. We live in the shadows of more successful people who let us be part of the journey due to their own ambition.  

​Most of us aren't that successful, yet many of us made sacrifices in the hopes of becoming that next level comic or actor. Maybe we can be regretful or sad we never reached the top of the mountain, but maybe we can also feel relief we never gave up our soul to inherit a world that would never be there for us anyway. 

​If there's a part of stand up that drives comics wild, it's the dreaded "Canceled Show." You get the booking. You set the date. You promote the event. You tell others you're busy that night. You're even writing a few jokes for that night based on the venue, city, or other comics on the show. Then you get the DM or call. It's over. The show isn't happening. You're now out a night of comedy, money, and networking. It's not fun, but its part of this insane comedy journey. So here's a few things to consider and do to recover from the cancelation. 

First Thought: No One Wanted This Outcome
You have to start from a place of empathy. No one wanted this to happen. If a booker set up a ticket link, created flyers, gave specific instructions in messages, etc. then everyone involved on the producing level wanted this to be a success. But clearly some external factors happened. The venue had complications. The weather created potential safety hazards. The ticket sales were low. There are numerous reasons why this occurred, and while you might be upset, unless this was your farewell show to stand up, you should simply tell the venue thank you for considering me and go back to the grind. 

What isn't acceptable is when comics snap back with aggressive comments. In the arts, whether it's comedy, music, film, or dance, things change. I recently had a contract for a movie production deal that completely fell through because the financial backers (ironically) backed out last minute. Everything was set up, from my title to my email to even the scripts I would work on. Then I got "the call" it was over. While devastated, I just said thank you for the potential opportunity and moved on. 
Life is full of disappointments, and if you treat every disappointment like the end of the world, not only will you feel awful over time, you'll lose any future opportunities with those watching. 

Second Thought: DON'T THINK "Can I Get Booked Elsewhere?"
I know this feels counterintuitive. But Paul, if my show got canceled, shouldn't I just find another show? Why wouldn't I reach out to comics and venues? You can do that, and it wouldn't be wrong. But take a step back and ask yourself if the Universe/God/Time/Space/The Earth is telling you something. The older I get, (I'm almost 50, folks) the more I begin to cherish canceled plans. Many of us can relate to this in our personal lives too. 

Nothing can feel better sometimes than a canceled meeting, a canceled blind date, a canceled party, a canceled trip. There's a sense of freedom and relief, right? Not always, but you know what I'm saying. Maybe the comedy gods are just giving you another opportunity to have an adventure. 
I've recently been reading a lot about medieval times (5th to 12th century) and the idea of seeing the world as a non-stop adventure is much more exciting than seeing it as just a series of ebbs and flows. Think of setbacks as part of your perilous journey to the destination of your desire. Be the knight. Be the wizard. Be the faire maiden. Be the witch. Create a narrative where your troubles can be overcome by an attitude of moving forward not dwelling in the sadness of a show that was never in your control.   

Third Thought: Fill The Newfound Time With Something Rewarding

I understand your plans were squashed and you're discouraged, but now is your opportunity to do something worthwhile instead of just filling your time with more comedy. Rudyard Kipling wrote in the poem "IF" this line:

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it"

The truth is, your newfound time should be a way to do something you've been ignoring. Maybe it's to be more productive and fix something around the house or to workout or to buy something you need. 

Maybe you can work on a screenplay or sketch. Maybe you can go see a movie or catch up on a popular show. Maybe you can catch up with a friend or family member. Or maybe you can just sleep. There are so many ways to better yourself instead of filling the unforgiving minute with just another show telling the same jokes over and over again.

Be a human being, like the ones you want to entertain. 

Final Thoughts
Comedy is a cruel mistress. She ghosts you. She cancels dates. She costs a fortune at times. But if you have a set back, find a way to step up. Use each moment to better yourself and create a more productive version of you. Don't see the canceled show as a problem but instead as an opportunity to create a new path. 

October 30th I turn 44 years old. I started doing comedy at 33 years old, like Jesus. Here are 44 thoughts about stand up comedy ranging from the clearly hyperbolic to the insanely truthful. Enjoy!  

​1. You shouldn't pay people in exposure, unless that means the booker will show you their boobs. Since most bookers are men, I'll pass. 

2.  Flappers' real marketing strategy is hoping every movie at the AMC is sold out, and people have to walk down to their club. 

3.The greatest double standard in comedy is that women get shit for telling dirty jokes way more than men do. Mostly because men have a lower standard of being human than women do. 

4. Don't try to sleep with the waitress/waiter or bartender after the show. They're a bigger headcase than you most likely. And they probably do Improv.

5. Podcasts pay way more than newsletters, but my newsletters prove I can write and think about my thoughts. 

6. Republican crowds used to be fun, but now they are just racist. 

7. Liberal crowds were never fun, but at least they just walk out quietly. 

8. Kill Tony is the only comedy show where awfulness is expected and adored. Like an average eHarmony date. 

9. A comedy show should be 90 minutes long. Anything longer is just asking for a tired group of overstimulated patrons who won't return for five years.

10. Your host should be be better in ten minutes than your feature is in 25 minutes - because if the host bombs, it's over. If the feature bombs, no one cares. Because the host can come up and get a pop off a joke that gives the headliner a fresh start.  

11. Bookers should pay for travel instead of requiring comics to use credit card points to fly - the irony of getting into debt to fly to their low paying gig is mind boggling and makes me want to use the R word like it's 1999.

12. Swearing on stage is fucking fun, and clean comics know that and cry at night because they can't say shit. 

13. Telling jokes about God and religion is a one way ticket to hell for most of you heathens.

14. Comics with one trick, whether it's crowd work or comedy catch phrases, don't last long. "Get'er done!" anyone was the "So you two dating?" in 2005.

15. Your parents will never be proud to tell people you've done comedy for more than a year. After a year, they'll just pity you and keep you out of the will. 

16. If you're single and want to do road work, stay single. If you're in a relationship, break up. If you're married get divorced. And if you have kids, put them up or adoption. And if you're pregnant, and in Texas...just drive to California. (too dark? lol)  

17. Fat comics are funnier than skinny comics. It's science. 

18. A bucket mic is rigged - just go home if they ask you to put your name in the bucket. Or just put the bucket on your head and do a Homer Simpson voice saying, "Look at me, I'm the magical man..." so you'll never be allowed back. 

19. It's okay to punch comics who have assaulted women. In fact, Jesus would be proud.    

20. If the comic before you bombs, just walk on stage and say, "I'm sorry for the last comic, but I'm really upset at him too - he stole all my jokes!" 

21. The Comedy Store is clearly haunted by the ghost of bringers past and Pauley Shore's career. 

22. Male comics who try to sleep with lady comics are sad, sad, delusional incels. 

23. No one will ever read your script. Even people who read your script were doing 15 other things at once and will just write, "loved it!" in a text four weeks later.

24. Never ask your friends to come see your show in the rain. Most venues in your bringing days don't have good ceilings. 

25. If comedy doesn't work out, try going to the gym. Preferably early in the morning. You'll be too tired to stay up late and you'll feel too good during the day to write cynical jokes.

26. The greatest comedy special of all time is Bill Cosby Himself and it should never be enjoyed again by anyone. Except maybe the Amish who have no idea what horrors he's responsible for. 

27. The most awful sound in the world is dead silence in a 200 seat theater after a joke bombs. Don't ask me how I know this. 

28. Until you've driven over 10 hours in a day for a gig and driven home the next day, you're not a comic. You're just a normal person. 

29. The San Diego Comedy Scene sucks. Because audiences are made up of people not cool enough to go to weekend beach house parties. 

30. Never wear a funny shirt on stage, unless your persona is Hacky McHack.   

31. If you aren't listening to pro-wrestling podcasts about the 1980's and 1990's wrestling scene, you're depriving yourself of great marketing and performance ideas, as well as the cathartic experience of being so cracked out on coke you are willing to sell your family. 

32. If a booker has a list of do's and dont's that is longer than a few lines, just politely decline the gig. No reason to have a person tell you that Big Bird joke was too phallic. 

33. Don't worry about becoming a working headliner for another 15 years. The current ones are only 60 and won't get out until they're 75 because they still think girls find them cute. 

34. The best bookers in LA were Dave McNary and Jan Smith at The Ice House. Both are dead now. So is LA comedy. 

35. You should drive a 15 year old clunker to gigs. It might make the booker feel sorry for you and give you an extra $25. Nobody gives a bonus to a feature or host driving a Tesla. 

36. I performed better sober. Choose sugarless caffeine over booze every time. Your heart might stop a few times on Celsius, but your liver will shut down completely on Jack Daniels.     

37. Joe Rogan and Theo Von aren't real. In ten years years they'll be just another victim of the Mandela Effect. 

38. The hot girls in the second row don't want to have sex with you. You just made them laugh, like you were paid to do. They came to the show because their tall boyfriends aren't funny and you're warming them up to have sex with them later. 

39. There is obvious bias in booking women in comedy. The truth: Once a booker or headliner doesn't
think they can sleep with a woman, they forget about them. These men also have tiny dicks and bad breath. 

40. No one over 55 should start a comedy career and believe they'll become famous. Just enjoy the ambience of it all and maybe you'll meet a famous comic and they'll say good set, even though we all know they never saw the set. 

41. Be "optimistically cynical" if you want to survive in this business. That means, believe you will succeed knowing full well no one like you ever has. Now that's a deeply wonderfully disturbing thought. 

42. Most comedians get a good ten years before they become sad shadows of their once relevant self. So start your clock once you're asked to headline anything worth posting about. Which means I'm about a year away from becoming an rodeo act at the county fair.

43. Whitney Cummings will never learn your name. But she will always cash checks from governments who chop up journalists.

​44. Never ask to go up early in the lineup. You aren't that important and the next show isn't that big of a deal. Because if it was, you would have canceled the earlier gig.     

​​The great irony of stand up comedy is that if done correctly the comic looks at a problem and discusses it from every possible angle, yet at the same time mocks every angle, dwindling every micro and macro issue in society down to its most based form. Suddenly, through the prism of tragedy 9/11 becomes a punchline and dating a girl without a job turns into "bitches be shopping." Then what eventually happens is the comic reduces an important ideal like LGBTQ+ rights and deeply held religious beliefs into a laughable group of people. We've seen this with Dave Chappelle's "Alphabet People" bit as well as Ricky Gervais's takedown of religion. This of course makes for great comedic writing and performance from master wordsmiths, but also can be weaponized to diminish and devalue the inherent value of a group of people or platform. And with this new rise of right wing manosphere comedy, the rise of politically incorrect comedy might feel like a freedom of speech victory, but it may very well be generating a lack of empathy that will have much longer lasting effects. 

Everything is Allowed to Be Made Fun Of
First off, let me say I have a libertarian view of the arts. If someone wants to make awful jokes on stage that creates a visceral reaction, by all means go for broke! But don't be mad when people call you out or won't book you because of it. If your best jokes are about how women are awful and Hitler was onto something (ironically, hopefully) then you can't be surprised when your own over usage of the 1st Amendment is the shovel that buries you.      

I'm not mad that certain comics have built a career out of mocking marginalized groups. I'm more sad and disappointed in the people who decided that was worthy of their hard earned money. If the offensive jokes about gay people, the trans community, women, and others didn't get laughs, then the comics would have moved onto other bits. 

Here's a joke: What do you call a racist or sexist who never gets paid gigs five years in? An open micer.      

So on one level, you have to understand that the awful comics we all know are awful with awful jokes are successful not because of the jokes or point of view but because people agree with the point of view enough to enjoy hearing jokes about the things they want to mock as well. 

Responsibility of the Comedian 
While every comic has the right to fail on their own, they have to take responsibility for their career's failure or fruit of their success. A comic who knows they're creating and profiting off a racist or misogynistic worldview should try to explain in other platforms that these are jokes and not really beliefs.

Anthony Jeselnik has gone out of his way to explain his brand of humor is a persona and not really how he views his family or the world. 

Jimmy Carr in his stand up is crass and unafraid to make everyone a punchline, yet in podcasts is insightful and brightly optimistic.

This doesn't excuse some of the jokes that cross into clearly problematic territory, but it does at least allow for their fans to realize their brand of shock humor isn't a way to argue with others about serious issues. 

Humor can provide insight into our biases and shortcomings. Jon Stewart does this every week on his show, and George Carlin was the master of this in his standup. Even Jim Gaffigan's bit about how people who make fun of people who eat at McDonalds are just snobs who have their own version of McDonalds. That bit has stuck with me for over fifteen years now, creating space for me to not judge others when I think their life choices are dumb. Well, so are mine too. And so are yours. 

But comics do have to think about the ramifications of how their jokes might create a new cultural ethos. You can't tell me that that Gaffigan didn't change the way we think about Hot Pockets, or how Richard Pryor made us view the silliness of how white people cuss. While I don't think those bits were at problematic, they did create a new perspective for many. Just as many would argue Joe Rogan's Austin Comedy scene has created a place for the worst of human behaviors to be celebrated. 

I have argued Tony Hinchcliffe's Kill Tony has created an entire open mic scene dedicated to poorly structured shock comedy, void of nuance or true wit. Just a bombastic group of sexually frustrated young men thinking they are being philosophers and truth tellers while using the R word and N word for comedic effect. Tony and his comedy cohorts (judges) sit back and laugh at the disturbing trend not because they think it's that funny, but because they can't believe they're making money off such awfulness. Considering Tony's first comedy special had none of that trademark humor, I have to think Tony shifted gears when he saw the potential money in being as ass. Kill Tony used to be a show where the freaks were ironically showcased, whereas today the same types of disturbed young men are not just showcased but platformed hard to monetary glory. 

Destruction of Empathy 
Sadly, what I think all of this shock and un-PC humor has done is create a lack of empathy amongst comics and fans. Comics now look or the joke in every situation. Yet, if there is no self censorship we become monsters.

Here's the irony of comedy: By laughing at people in positions of power we because less afraid of them. But by laughing at groups marginalized by society, we become bullies. Same approach but different targets. When comics see a tragedy or a mistreatment and go straight to the joke, they might be displaying a razor sharp awareness and wit, but they are also demonstrating a lack of empathy and sympathy to what's happening. Many comics think they are social police officers, taking down the ills of society. But what happens when their brand of stand up IS the ill of society? That seems to be the current state of this Austin based comedy brand. 

It's why the top comics were able to justify going to the Riyadh Comedy Festival. They are losing touch with their moral center. It also has a lot to do with the monetization aspect of stand up. Comics used to make money doing stand up so they could be in movies and TV. Now, they've forgone those platforms for podcasts and YouTube clips. They can make their own money now, without having Hollywood sanitize their brand or put them into a box they don't want. So instead of making mainstream entertainment with a basic core message of acceptance or growth (like Adam Sandler), they create podcasts and stand up designed to take down the groups that their fans want knocked down a peg.     

Say what you want about Eddie Murphy and Jim Carrey but after their comedy career's skyrocketed, they took on acting and left stand up behind, eventually becoming the stars of major family films. Who knows where their stand up would have gone had they not started collaborating with Hollywood folks - my argument is Hollywood saved them from massive cancel culture the way Andrew Dice Clay and others lost their ability to make more money because their comedy was so divisive and offensive. 

This constant feeding the machine by modern comics only generates more hyperbolic racist, sexist, homophobic, and gender mocking content that gets fed into the algorithm and lives there forever. Every man I know between 25-45 gets the same comedy content in their feed, and you have to actively choose content that is the opposite to stop getting Red Pill crap. To combat the rubbish fed to me, I listen to a lot of Jim Cornette's wrestling podcast, Rory Sutherland's marketing hacks, and talking dog content like Hammy and Olivia. I'm not being fed junk all day. So unless a comics' destructive hot take goes viral and people talk about it on Facebook and Threads, I won't see it. 

Final Thoughts
It's a fine line between artistic expression, commerce, and self-censorship. Comics have to make money to survive, yet it seems the more alt-right they go, the more they make. It eventually become a loop where each group feeds into each other - which feels like it sadly has already become that. 
This of course builds a world were mockery is celebrated and empathy is laughed at. On one level I understand that empathy feels exhausting as we are demanded to feel empathy towards our co-workers and clients at work. It's built into the company culture and customer service. At work we can't offend anyone or we'll be fired. And if the customer complains about the tiniest thing we have to pretend it really is a hug problem. "I'm so sorry the wifi went down for a minute - here's a free coffee coupon for life." 

So the type of comedy that mocks the sensitivities of others feels like a positive outlet until it creates people unable to see comedy as a cathartic release and not an actual moral philosophy. 

What I can say, is most of this type of humor has come through before and eventually fades away. Andrew Dice Clay filled Madison Square Garden telling awful anti-women jokes and within a few years was a washed up comic, begging clubs for drop in spots. At some point people will wake up, or at least get bored by the same types of jokes Kill Tony and Joe Rogan push on people.

​And that's all we can hope. Because until comedy fans correct themselves and their spending habits, then this brand of empathy reducing stand up won't have to sit down for a while.         

About a month ago I was scrolling on YouTube, watching various Jubilee videos when I saw they had a Community Post requesting "liberal Christians" to interview for a show pitting different Christian viewpoints against each other. For those not familiar with Jubilee, it's a wildly popular company that makes viral YouTube content in the debate space. Their show Surrounded (which I was on) puts one famous person against 20 less famous people in a speed date format to debate various topics. Mine was 1 Conservative Christian v. 20 Liberal Christians. I decided on a whim to submit and was selected to be on this episode. Here's a few thoughts on the episode, my experience, and my weird viral moment on TikTok and Threads. 

Understanding the Format
For those of you interested in being on a popular YouTube or TV show, just know that there's a lot of behind the scenes "formatting" to help "produce" a show. On the show, the producers select who will go first and "win" the race to the chair. So when five or more people race to the center, like pro wrestling, we know the outcome. Which was disappointing because I was doing box squats for a month to get ready to pop up and debate. 

The filming takes place in a very warm abandoned warehouse studio, with large air fans blowing right before they call "action!" So if people look sweaty or uncomfortable, they are also hot as heck. 
We didn't know we would be debating Allie Beth Stuckey, a MAGA podcaster and author of "Toxic Empathy." So preparing for the debate was nearly impossible. In fact, they didn't send the topics to us until 9:30PM the night before. We filmed on a Saturday, meaning who's checking their email on Friday after 7PM? So any prep was out the door. 

While I'm pretty knowledgeable in right wing Christian talking points (LBGTQ+ bad, Abortion bad, Immigration bad, Empathy bad, etc.) there was still no way to completely know the best examples to use to debate, so I had to rely on my own studies and hope the right words came out. Talk about walking by faith. 

But once Allie showed up and we settled in, the shoot was super smooth with there being four claims she made and I waited until her claim "Empathy can lead to sin" came up. I really am bored by the political issues and would rather discuss more philosophical ideals. So when the claim was made, I raised my hand and was selected to kick off Claim #3.

The Actual Debate
I learned two things while watching previous debaters: 

1. Regardless of how well it's going, the other debaters are going to throw up red flags so the clock stops and they can get their turn.

2. The format is more about quick talking points than deep dive discussion.

I wasn't sure if the show would be three hours and cut down to 90 minutes or it it would be 90 minutes and 99% of the show makes the episode. Turns out we film 100 minutes and 99 minutes got in. Outside of cutting some friendly banter up front, the main points are showcased. 

To be honest, I thought I would be debating a male. So having to argue with a woman is always a bit different. Anyone who has debated knows this to be true. This goes for women and men, as we know the general rules of society that keep us feeling safe. So I knew that some of my snark would need to be dialed down, which was probably best since these clips do go viral. 

Our actual discussion went for 5 minutes, which was pretty impressive, since many people were voted out by the three minute mark or earlier. One poor Mormon girl was voted out before she could sit down. At one point I realized I was going to be able to state many of my arguments in defense of empathy, and that's when my school teacher/preacher persona got to take over. While being a comedian doesn't necessarily make one a better debater, being quick witted does help. 

I'll let you be the judge on how I did, but the online response did help me realize a few things about myself and the content game in general. One thing I forgot is my wagging finger goes wild when I'm cooking.

Going Viral for 15 Minutes 
So far the YouTube episode has over 1 million views, which shows people are hungry for some type of civil debate, because the episode is much more low key than previous videos. But what was super weird to me was how MY TIKTOK clip went viral. 

I don't have a real TikTok account. I just have a tiny burner account to watch clips and see things that make the news. I had 50 followers with most just being bots from a handful of clips I post so if I do comment on something it doesn't look like a bot. I used to have 1500 followers but got rid of that account when my algorithm failed me. 

I took a clip about how Jesus used empathy and it gathered 230K views, 30K likes, over 500 comments, and over 3,000 saves. It was reposted by many people as well. On Threads I had one clip get 2K likes, 450 comments, 147 reposts, and 75 shares. And another clip had 300+ likes, 76 comments, and 20 reposts. I felt like a pretty girl on IG with a new Gucci bag.  

I also went from 50 TikTok followers to now 470 followers. That's 400 organic followers in less than a day. I've been posting comedy clips since 2015 and nothing like this every happened before. It turns out people were less interested in my comedy and more interested in me pointing my finger of empathy at a MAGA Trad Wife. 

With this new found success, I posted a follow up clip and I'm sorry to say, your boy isn't the viral sensation he hoped he was. Back to normal numbers, and back to reality. Which is fine. I'm not even sure I could switch gears into some type of Christian ethos content machine at this stage in life, even if I did pull off back to back 200K view content. 

Final Thoughts 
Overall, I enjoyed my time meeting the people I met and having an opportunity to discuss empathy with a person who so has so much animosity toward it. Why? Maybe because it would force her to think about others in uncomfortable ways. Maybe her definition of sympathy (aka pity) creates a position of power. Or maybe because her male religious mentors like Charlie Kirk and Douglas Wilson have been so much against empathy for the reasons mentioned earlier. 

What I really learned is that even with another credit, my life hasn't changed. It's not like I'm now the authority on liberal Christianity. I jokingly told my brother I could start The Empathy Project - only to find out there are multiple organizations with the same name. I also ironically found out that I went more viral with a burner TikTok than when I had a 1500 follower account I was actively using. I also learned more women seemed interested in me when I mentioned Jubilee than Dry Bar Comedy. And I learned that no matter my points or Allie's points, the comment section creates its own beast. 
I'm reminded of the last scene in The Coen Brother's Burn After Reading:

CIA Superior: What did we learn, Palmer?
CIA Officer: I don't know, sir.
CIA Superior: I don't fuckin' know either. I guess we learned not to do it again.
CIA Officer: Yes, sir.
CIA Superior: I'm fucked if I know what we did.
CIA Officer: Yes, sir, it's, uh, hard to say.
CIA Superior: Jesus fucking Christ.

I hate ending on a swear - but that banter is literally how I feel right now. 

Below is the full episode. I kick off Claim #3. Enjoy!