For those who don't know, I was an English teacher with dreams of being a pro writer. Which did happen, but not completely as I planned. My Masters was in English with an emphasis in Film Theory, which I completed 17 years ago. I used to teach writing, poetry, and creative writing at both the high school and college level. So here's my ode to standup through haiku. For those who don't know, haiku are three line poems with 5,7,5 syllable structure, usually dealing with nature in someway. Here are five haiku with practical advice. And for the record, haiku is both singular and plural. I added a title for fun.     

Your First Three Years
Stand Up Comedy
Perform weeknights and weekends
Just not bringer shows

The Art of Emailing a Booker 
Email Bookers now
Future You will be grateful 
Always ask for cash

The Comic Not Booked 
Five men on a show
No women in the lineup 
Bad booker are you 

Whitney Cummings and Marc Maron at The Comedy Store  
Famous comics are
Taking spots from new comics 
Selfish and greedy

​Life on the Road Heading To Oregon
Passing tall oak trees
Hearing my wrestling podcasts  
Sunsets fill the sky

Here's my best advice for you when you have "writer's block" - just write a few haiku on one topic and get something on paper.     

Well, I just got my dreaded tax forms from my accountant. It's time to start going back and figuring out how much money I made this year doing comedy, writing for the VC Reporter, and managing a gym. I was talking to a pretty established headliner recently, and he and I were joking how broke we are in comparison to how much people think we make. And to be honest, this wasn't my most profitable year, though I did hit five states and over 100 shows in 2025. Some weeks were packed and then there was December where I did only one show but went out with a lot of friends, even had a few dates, and reconnected to my humanity. So maybe I didn't make the most money, but I also was so much happier doing stand up the past 12 months, even if my bank account didn't reflect that - and you know what, that's okay. I might be broke, but I'm broke and loving it. 

FOCUSED Time Off Can Create a New Energy 
Back in August, I was offered a great job in Hollywood, only for the job to be pulled away like Lucy yanking the football from Charlie Brown. This caused a huge gap in my booked shows, as I thought I' be working on other projects. 

But what that created was an opportunity to go out and see friends I wasn't able to, allowing myself to have Christmas dinners, parties, and even go out on New Years Eve. Instead of panicking, I fully embraced my new found free time and had a ball. I tried new restaurants in Newport Beach, went back to Tao in Hollywood, had a gift exchange with some buddies, and even got to go to a Christmas dinner with people outside of family. 

For many of us, we fear the lack of shows, and it was a bit nerve racking, knowing I had a big weekend in Arizona coming up. But the time off recharged my soul, and by spending my end of 2025 with others and watching movies, I can honestly say I had one of my best weekend gigs ever this past weekend. I might not have made as much money as I wanted in 2025, but I filled my soul in ways I never knew I needed.

Money Can Only Take You So Far 
While living in the LA area is expensive, trying to keep up with the Joneses isn't really a possibility, as everyone is "wealthier" than someone else. So regardless of the income you make or the savings you keep or things you collect or trips you take, the truth is, you never will feel as accomplished as others, as social media has poisoned the waters. On top of all that, no one actually sees your bank account, unless you plan to post it for some douchebaggery reason - so even if you do all the gigs and make as much money as you can, A) No one knows and B) You'll still have to make more anyways. 

It's a never ending cycle. So giving yourself a little bit of grace and freedom and reassessing your priorities and relationships is one way to self care in a hustle culture that cares about results more than emotional aftermath. 

In fact, one thing that keeps an artist "hungry" is literally being hungry.  

Being broke can produce the ability to create more lasting art, and help take your act into a place where there is wisdom, tension, and authentic humor. When you look at the great comics, the one's who stopped struggling financially started struggling artistically. Whether it's Jim Carrey or Eddie Murphy, you see that play out time and time again. 

One reason Larry David stayed so funny on Curb Your Enthusiasm was he's always uncomfortable. In fact, some comics stay relevant through their podcasts by feeling awkward and out of their element. Clearly, many comics don't seem interested in people, so having a podcast keep their edge through the tension created. 

You can apply the same thing to the bank account dwindling. No one is more awful to waitstaff than the super wealthy, having no relationship to dealing with real life problems. Jamie Foxx tells interviewers he keeps a sink in his house leaking just to have a domestic problem to deal with. Don't try to fix everything. Sometimes its the troubles keeping you from sinking into complicity. 

Being a Comic Is Still Cooler Than Anything Your Rich Friends Are Doing
Yes, you might be broke. But if you're broke in LA or broke doing something cool, everyone is jealous. Here's a great story Seinfeld told a young comic in the documentary Comedian, who was sad his Wall Street buddies were buying homes and making money: 

This is my favorite story about show business. Glenn Miller’s orchestra, they were doing some gig somewhere, they can’t land where they’re supposed to land because it’s winter, a snowy night.

So they have to land in this field and walk to the gig. And they’re dressed in their suits. They’re ready to play. They’re carrying their instruments. So they’re walking through the snow, and it’s wet and it’s slushy, and in the distance they see this little house.

And there’s lights on in the inside, and this billow of smoke coming out of the chimney. They go up to the house, and they look in the window, and in the window they see this — this family.

There’s a guy and his wife, and she’s beautiful. And there’s two kids. And they’re all sitting around the table. And they’re smiling, they’re laughing, they’re eating. And there’s a fire in the fireplace.

And these guys are standing in their suits, and they’re wet and they’re shivering and they’re holding their instruments. And they’re watching this incredible Normal Rockwell scene. This one guy turns to the other guy and goes, “How do people live like that?”

The truth is, many of my Big Career Buddies love hearing my road stories, enjoy having an insight into show business, and think it's great someone is able to pursue a dream, even if the conditions aren't always ideal. 

Yes, I won't travel to Dubai or Hawaii this year, but I will make over a 1,000 people laugh in a weekend. I will turn a normal person in the crowd into the star of the night through crowd work. I will meet people from all over the country. My life of writing, comedy, and managing a gym is not that stressful, and my ability to freely ebb and flow through this world feels great right now. 

I used to be a broke teacher and I had a drinking problem. Now I'm a broke comic with a refreshing new lease on life. It's not the money that matters - it's the way your life makes you feel that matters. 

Final Thoughts 
Living in Southern California has its challenges. It's mostly economical, but by choosing the starving artist life, I've been more happy in ways than I've never been as a "professional adult." And that's what this really comes down to. 

Yes, you can get a six figure job and work 60 hours a week and have a mortgage. But with that comes all the stress and anxiety of responsibilities that our modern capitalistic system doesn't protect you from when the sh*t hits the fan. 

You can gamble on the security of a union job or something more stable, only to be let go when A.I. takes over. 

​In the end, being broke has a lot of setbacks, but not pursuing that artistic part of you has more setbacks. So you pick the poison you're willing to swallow and move forward. Or you give up, sell insurance, and resent everything you buy with your newfound fortune. I'm not talking about people who see family and a house as their masterpiece - I'm talking to you - the person who sees their life as something more existential and grand. So go be broke, and love every freeing moment of it.   

​2025 was not a great year for films. If you want to watch a great year, 1994 (Forrest Gump, Shawshank, Pulp Fiction), 1999 (Magnolia, Fight Club, The Green Mile), and 2004 (Sideways, The Aviator, Million Dollar Baby) come to mind. But this year did produce two bona fide masterpieces in One Battle After Another and Sinners. Both films are deep explorations into the American experience and psyche. Both are made by auteur filmmakers Paul Thomas Anderson and Ryan Coogler. Both are technically sound with groundbreaking visuals, whether its the wavy roads of the barren desert or the dancing of multiple African generations in unison, and both films have haunted me all year. And both are essentially homages to two of my favorite films of all time - which I'll explain later in my individual commentary. 

This year, women once again gave the best performances, with Rose Byrne's dramatically comic turn as a mother and wife on the edge in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You. Jesse Buckley was revolutionary in Hamnet, and Amy Madigan gave her wildest performance as a witch feeding off the souls of children. Only two of them can win an Oscar this year, which is a shame, but these performances will live on well past their debut dates. 

The men did a fine job with Leonardo DiCaprio and Benicio del Toro being the buddy duo of the decade in OBAA, and Michael B. Jordan played twins in Sinners to a perfect pitch. But don't forget the fine work by Dwayne Johnson in The Smashing Machine and David Jonsson and the young cast of The Long Walk. 

From a box office standpoint, Minecraft and Lilo & Stitch ruled the year with $423 million each. Superman, Jurassic World, Wicked For Good and Zootopia 2 rounded out the top 6 all making $300+ million. Avatar: Fire and Ash will eventually reach at least number three if not one by the end of it's run. Sinners was the highest grossing original film at $279 million, with F1 being the second most seen non-sequel/remake/adaptation at $179 million and Weapons at $151 million. 

So look for more sequels and reboots as we head into the second half of the decade. 

Many of the years worst films were more ambition gone wrong than purely cynical slop. While there were plenty of sloppy messes, the films that really irked me were by top tier directors making pretentious Emperor's New Clothing. Read my Most Disappointing Films list at the bottom. 

My big takeaway from 2026 is that this new crop of filmmakers are very much remaking their favorite films, and the more established filmmakers are clearly taking the premises and influences of other films and applying their twist on the material. What was once a Quentin Tarantino staple (remaking genre B films) is now the new standard, and you can see its working well with critics and audiences. 

With all that said, here is my list of the Best Films of 2025. For the record, I saw about 200 films this year. My Letterboxd has all the full reviews on it, and that's linked to the bottom of the newsletter. Whether you love or hate these films, I just hope you have an experience with them. Because when I got my Masters in Film Theory, that was the one great pull I got watching and analyzing films - you have to feel something or else you wasted your time. 

THE LIST 

1. One Battle After Another 
If one film were to represent the vibe of the times, it's Paul Thomas Anderson's brilliant social satire action film OBAA. Taking from the 1970's revolutionary films like Dog Day Afternoon but with a splash of The Big Lebowski, Thomas' script and direction crackles and pops with career topping work by Leonardo DiCaprio, Benicio del Toro, Sean Penn and newcomer Chase Infiniti. Don't be surprised to see this on a lot of great films of all time lists over the next few decades. It's already quotable with "just a few small beers," and "Life, man. Life!" living rent free in my head since September.     

2. Sinners 
Easily the most wildly ambitious film on the list, this is Ryan Coogler's Americana love letter to gothic horror and southern gospel bluegrass. Taking a bit from the plot of From Dusk Till Dawn, twin bootleggers from Chicago (played by Michael B. Jordan), try to start a speakeasy dance club in rural Mississippi, only to be invaded by white vampires with a Mumford and Sons vibe. It's both a period piece and a commentary on our current culture. Truth be told, it's not so much #2 as it is 1b to OBAA's 1a. 

3. If I Had Legs I'd Kick You 
Rose Byrne gives the best performance of the year as a mom and wife on the edge. She's also a therapist with Conan O'Brien giving wonderful supporting work as her therapist down the hall. The film is sort of an Uncut Gems from the woman's point of view as we watch everything in her life get destroyed from her house to her marriage to the hamster she buys her overbearing and sick daughter. This is the type of filmmaking Hollywood is afraid to make and audiences cringe at, yet I found it wildly entertaining and deeply poignant and insightful.  

4. The Long Walk 
No film moved me as deeply as the Stephen King adaptation about a dystopian future where once a year young men walk until no one is left except one. Both a dark cautionary tale about violent government rule and a metaphor for young men entering the rat race of everyday life, Cooper Hoffman and David Jonsson are a modern Andy and Red. The best young ensemble cast in a long time, it's refreshing to see young men obsessed with friendship and family more than getting laid or winning a game. This one is probably my favorite gem I discovered this year.  

5. Jay Kelly
Noah Baumbach's take on fame, family, and the price of putting things in the wrong order is one for the ages. George Clooney stars as Jay, one of the last movie stars dealing with the reality of his falling star as he's being honored for his work - yet he can't find a single person to sit with him when he wins this award. Adam Sandler and Laura Dern are wonderful as his long suffering manager and press secretary, reminding Jay that his best friends have to be paid to put up with him. The film is warm, funny, sad, and entertaining above everything else. I will gladly return to this once a year for a good time and moral reminder that my career is not as important as my time with others.

6. Bugonia 
Yorgos Lanthimos has slowly become my favorite filmmaker working today. I will gladly watch anything this man does. After hating The Lobster and being lukewarm on The Favorite, I've found Poor Things, Kinds of Kindness, and Bugonia absolute masterpieces. Emma Stone continues to place herself at the top of all time actresses with her work as a boss babe CEO who is kidnapped by two worker bees who think she's an alien. Jesse Plemons is both loveably dimwitted and terrifyingly violent, giving one the best performances of the year as the lead kidnapper. The last thirty minutes was the most fun I had at the movies.  

7. The Life of Chuck
If Sinners is From Dusk Till Dawn, this Stephen King adaptation is The Truman Show, but from a more metaphysical point of view. Telling the story of Chuck from a reverse narrative, the film explores the relationship between love, logic, and mystery beautifully, switching genres from science fiction fantasy to coming of age middle school drama. There's a middle segment involving dancing that is truly one of the most remarkable scenes of the year.    

8. Frankenstein 
Guillermo del Toro's career has always focused on monsters, both the misunderstood and the devious. By taking the 1818 classic and giving it all the bells and whistles, as well as attaching an all-star cast filled with wonderful character actors and a few Oscar favorites, del Toro finds a way to create a film that is less scary and more darkly whimsical, like the way Walt Disney would make magic. Filled with icy ships stranded, sky high castles, and state of the art visuals and makeup, every scene is both glorious to watch and intellectually stimulating.   

9. Bob Trevino Likes It 
No move made me cry at the end the way Bob Trevino Likes It made me cry almost a year ago. Barbie Ferreira stars as Lily, a young woman abandoned by her father Bob Trevino, only to connect on Facebook with another Bob Trevino, played by the delightful John Leguizamo, who becomes her new best friend. In a world where these films go cringe in either the Hallmark or sleazy sexual way, this is the most CODA-esque film I've seen since, well, CODA. And I'm not lying when I tell you this is the best ending of the year. This is would be Ted Lasso's favorite film.     

10. Superman 
Look up. James Gunn's poster catch phrase sums up all the optimism and hope you'd want from a Superman reboot. While there's no dramatically new territory covered here, the themes of found family, bravery, and courage are explored with all the action and humor we'd expect. David Corenswet makes a great Caped Crusader, and his romance with Lois Lane here would make Nora Ephron proud, with witty banter and sweet romantic chemistry. This also has the honor of being the first film in years I saw twice in theaters, only days apart. If this is is the future of the DC Comic Book world, I'm on board.

Honorable Mentions
Sorry, Baby was a first rate dramedy about the hardships of sexual assault with a great directorial debut by Eva Victor.

Richard Linklater's Nouvelle Vague, a love letter to French New Wave cinema of the 1960's, is a beautifully shot ensemble piece filled with witty dialogue and first rate casting.    

Highest 2 Lowest is Spike Lee's best film since BlacKKKlansman, with Denzel Washington having a ball in the second half playing off his alpha persona. 

No Other Choice is the best international film I saw all year, satirizing the cruelty of capitalism's evils and greed. 

When it comes to gentle kindness, Hollywood rarely gets it right through an entire film, yet despite a bit of predictable plotting, Rental Family is a near perfect dramedy about how we need each other. 

Splitsville was far and away the best comedy of the year, and a sort of American Pie cousin for us millennials.  

Hamnet is Chloe Zhao's interpretation of William Shakespeare's Hamlet, but through the eyes of his wife Agnes, played by the thunderous Jessie Buckley.   

Wes Anderson has found a new muse in Benicio del Toro in this wild thriller comedy The Phoenician Scheme, a candy colored treat for the eyes and ears. 

Maybe the most poetic film of the year was The Secret Agent, with Wagner Moura playing multiple characters, telling a made up story about the true feelings of 1970's Brazil.  

Celine Song follows up the indie hit Past Lives with the more Hollywood big budget star vehicle Materialists, where Chris Evans asks Dakota Johnson, "Am I disposable to you?" and I felt every truth in that line.   

Companion and The Monkey were great high-brow sci-fy horror thrillers with popping scripts and real auteur vibes.

Twinless is a Sundance Film Festival favorite that told the story of twins who lost their sibling and found a way to turn the touching premise into a dark comedy that feels cathartic and poignant.  

I was a huge admirer of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's work in The Smashing Machine, about the life of UFC fighter Mark Kerr before the violent sport became a billion dollar industry. Plus Emily Blunt was the sexiest woman on screen this year, playing a supportive yet erratic girlfriend.

Eternity is the closest to capturing the vibe of Albert Brook's Defending Your Life, and I'm here for it.    

Most Disappointing Films of the Year

I'm not a fan of "worst films" of the year, as a low budget piece of crap like Screamboat Willie deserves that title, but that's also unfair to a film that never asked to be taken seriously. Same with silly comedies like Anaconda and Happy Gilmore 2. But what about films that aimed for something or cost a fortune to make, and missed the mark completely? That's what I'm warning you from. No one watches Happy Gilmore 2 looking to have their life changed - but these films wanted to go big, when they should just go home. 

After the Hunt stars Julia Roberts as a Yale professor caught in a #MeToo scandal and its a self gratifying nothing burger of a 2 1/2 hour film. 

Jurassic World Rebirth had an easy formula to follow (Dinosaurs + Dumb People = Dumb People Being Eaten Squared) and it failed on every level.

Ethan Coen needs to make up with his brother Joel and stop making inside joke hack cinema like Honey Don't!

I Know What You Did Last Summer took none of the self aware charm of the first film or the similar films created since the mid-90's and instead made a film those films mocked. 

Back in Action stars Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz in streaming slop about spies turned domestic suburban parents, with not one redeemable joke or scene. 

Toxic Avenger wanted to be a gross out action satire, but became a bore and filthy film going experience with grotesque jokes that no one needs to see. 

James L. Brooks went from winning best director for Terms of Endearment forty years ago to making the worst TV pilot feature film in decades with Ella McCay.

I know I'm in the minority here, but I hated Sentimental Value, with not one likable character in a cast of likable actors. Emperor's New Clothes 101.

Bring Her Back's greatest sin is taking Sally Hawkins' great performance and sticking it in child torture porn about the foster system gone wrong and demonic.

​After making Avengers: Endgame, the Russo Brothers could do anything and they decided to ruin the book The Electric State with a terrible script and wooden acting by Chris Pratt and Millie Bobby Brown.             

​Reflecting on your year is very important in comedy and the arts. You have to take an inventory of the type of gigs you had, the jokes you told, and way you moved through the year and ask if you want to repeat that or change it up. Because the saddest thing in the world is a comic desperately holding onto a thing afraid its their only way to get stage time. What I've found in my life is once you let something go, you can usually expect something to replace it. It might not be what you wanted, but in the words of the Rolling Stones, "you might not get what you want, but if you try sometimes you'll get what you need." 

Rethink Your Jokes 
Jerry Seinfeld loves perfecting the act. He writes a lot but he wants to keep jokes for a long time to know he's going on stage with tried and true material. Other comics go more topical and change it up every couple years, burn the material on a special, and move on. Both are fine depending on where you are in your career. I do a lot of 30-45 minute sets on the road and need set jokes to have to fill time and know the response. I also play a lot with crowd work and working on local bits to make the crowd at least feel like everything is off the top of my head. 

But there are a few jokes this year that have finally ran the light. A have a couple dating jokes that just don't get the pop anymore. And there are a few reasons.

One, my relationship with the women in those jokes changed a lot, creating a new tone in my voice when talking about them. Even I sensed my boredom talking about them. Plus, my jokes were written forty pounds ago, so I look different now and the guy who went through those awful dates isn't the same dude writing this article today. 

So I lost a good six to seven minutes of jokes this year, on top of a few month to month jokes about movies like Sinners that just doesn't work after their time in the zeitgeist runs away. I'll tell you, when I see comics telling jokes from 2018 because they were brilliant then and hack now, my heart folds up inside of me. 

Don't be afraid to throw out the jokes that ran the light (metaphorically speaking), and start the process of creating new jokes that are even better. I recently watched Mark Normand and Sam Morril interview Jerry Seinfeld on the podcast We Might Be Drunk and Normand talked about watching old bits to remind and reteach himself how to write great bits. The best bit I ever wrote is my "Do I Have Down Syndrome?" closer (On my Dry Bar Special on YouTube), and I never really topped that, but I'm still trying.   

Focus on the Business Side of Show Business
Don't be afraid to know and appreciate your worth. If you're still in year 1-3, take all the gigs and do anything that provides you with stage time. But if you're in years 4-6, try to think about what you enjoy most and make that the goal for 2026. 

I have a few rules 11 years in:

1. I have to get paid (unless I decide there is value outside of that)
2. I don't travel in dangerous conditions (snow in winter)
3. I don't host shows I'm not producing (Why would I be the face of a show where the producer makes awful choices?)
4. I don't want restrictions outside of actual reasons (example: Don't swear at a church show)
5. I don't rebook comics who become difficult (I think that's self explanatory)

But these are business decisions. I'll gladly do comedy all over the country, and 23 states later, I have. But shows need to make sense or I'm going to become bitter. Bar shows, hole in the wall nights out, drunken hecklers, etc. just aren't fun anymore. Fighting the crowd watching sports games isn't a "challenge" anymore. It's a waste of time. For others, it's important to get those reps in. You'll thank yourself for those shows later on. But today, I want to enjoy my experiences and get paid for them. 

Often, bookers and comics will say, "Why do you want to get paid for ten minutes?" My response is an old Picasso line.

Picasso was at a cafe and a woman asked him to doodle something on a napkin. He obliged and said, "One hundred dollars, please." Shocked, the lady said, "It took you thirty seconds for that," to which the famous painter said, "No, it took me thirty years to draw that in thirty seconds." 

Never be afraid to say no to a gig because it's not worth the money or time after a certain time. I have said to people, "Other shows have paid me X for these jokes, so it would unfair if you only paid me Y for the same show." Steal that line if you want. 

Shape Goals You Can Reach and Almost Reach 
I'm a big believer in having set goals you can control. You can't control if a booker wants to put you up. But you can control how many times you reach out to them through email. You have to think smarter, not just push harder.

Maybe a goal for you is to post a clip of stand up a week. Maybe it's to attend an open mic every Tuesday at The Improv. Maybe it's to write five new jokes a day. Those are actual quantitative goals that have clear metrics to judge success by. 

Saying things like, "I want to make $100,000 this year in comedy" or "I want to be funnier" is a great goal, but are you set up to do that? Do you have the bookers and fellow comics to reach out to? If not, then the goal is to figure out how many shows at $500-$1500 you can book and then how many shirts or bumper stickers you can sell to offset the lack of show pay. Maybe you try to monetized through Instagram by posting more. Maybe you focus more on corporate shows or church shows that pay well for one nighters. Maybe you build out a great website to loo more professional. Everyone is at a different place in the journey. Look at your GPS and see what the next stop is. 

When I was in college, my speech teacher asked us to solve a problem in society. Our example was solving homelessness. Everyone just blurted out, "Build more homes." But the professor said, "Do you think people are homeless on the streets because they don't have a place? Or do they lack money?"

We all sat stunned. Homeless people wouldn't be able to afford the newly bought homes, making building new homes an invalid solution. But if there we more rehab centers, job training courses, and free education programs, they'd be able to get the skills they need to create an income to get an apartment and then set new housing goals. 

Making more money in comedy or being better isn't just "get more gigs" - it's about focusing on building material and networking that opens doors to paying gigs and finding crowds you connect with. That might take all year, but if 2026 was dedicated to building a wildly successful 2027, then its worth the time put in. 

Final Thoughts
This is last newsletter of 2025. I wrote approximately 50 newsletters this year. That's roughly 60,000 words. As the clock ticks and tocks toward 12:01am, I am reminded this year had a lot of blessings, but also a lot of personal letdowns. 

I can't control everything in my life, and yet, I learned I can control my attitude and actions. As can you. You might feel like everything sucks right now or you might think everything is amazing. You might feel stuck in the middle. You might be one break away. But you can always pivot. You can always take a break. You can always ramp up your writing, emailing, and performing. 

This year I performed in 100 shows, down from last year. But I wrote a lot, including numerous new bits and five screenplays that I'll be pitching to producer friends with connections. I had to pivot my day job responsibilities to get health insurance back. I did a lot to create new opportunities and still meet my "adult" responsibilities.

​I'm not a fan of "new year new me" lines. You're still you. And time is a social construct. So before you just throw silly cliches around, step back, make a plan, and create a 2026 you can use to build your comedy career towards the stepping stones that are important to you.       

​With Christmas just a few days away, I wanted to tell you thank you to all of you. For TWO YEARS this newsletter has been in production, and so many of you have been amazing in interacting with it. Putting up with my pontificating and ramblings has been the highlight of 2024 and 2025 for me.  
So, like last month, I wanted to give you my list of the top ten Christmas movies to watch with the family (some of them at least) this season. This list is the definable, undisputed list of Christmas films, and if you disagree, I will make sure you never get on Potluck or your name gets drawn out of the bucket at the Improv. 

Just a little FYI, I'm not a fan of A Christmas Story, and Christmas Vacation is a very comedy at times, but overall I just never liked the film as a film. I'm sure I'm wrong, but I don't know why yet. Oh, and Die Hard is the actual #2 but I don't want people mad at me putting it there, so just imagine it there. 

Top Ten Christmas Films

1. The Muppet Christmas Carol
This is the most joyful, wonderous, entertaining Christmas movie I've ever seen. It tells the most Christmas of stories, retelling Charles Dickens' classic ghost and time travel story from the point of view of the Muppets. Plus, Michael Caine was robbed of an Oscar nomination as Scrooge. Okay, maybe a Golden Globe nomination. But if you have a family member who hasn't seen it yet, stream it on Disney+ over the long weekend. 

2. Miracle on 34th Street 
Santa is real. I don't care what my dad told me at three years old. And this 1947 classic about Santa's visit to earth, only to be treated like an insane asylum member is both poignant and charming. The best part is when all the children write letters to Santa and a judge goes, "Little children need this man to keep this myth going!" Because in law school they teach you that defense. 

3. It's a Wonderful Life 
Remember that classic suicidal comedy fantasy about a guy who loses everyone's money and then an out of work angel tries to remind him that life is worth living because he's gonna get some great tail in life? Frank Capra is at his most Capra-ist and Jimmy Stewart does his best Jimmy Stewart impression as himself in this sweet as a candy cane love letter to small town America. 

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas         
If you have any atheist or non-Christian religious friends, Linus gives you the gospel to share with them in the best Bible reading Ted Talk ever drawn. Everything about this short animated classic is enduring. From the beautiful score to the wild group dancing, you will never not be entertained. Plus, the phallic Freudian impotent tree being erected must have made some animator giddy when drawing that scene of upright redemption.   

5. The Holdovers 
You know that weird relative no one wants to invite to Christmas dinner? Paul Giamatti plays him to a T in Alexander Payne's heartwarming film about the thee loneliest people in the world trapped in a boarding school on Christmas break. It is essentially three characters all coming to grip with their sad existential place in the universe, but with some big laughs and a great soundtrack. This is the most recent Christmas classic.  

6. Home Alone 
It's 1991 and you're in a movie theater watching a ten year old boy beat the living sh*t out of Oscar winner Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. It's the greatest day of your life by far. Macaulay Culkin is the kid actor of his generation, and this dark fantasy that clearly stole it's third act from Nightmare on Elm Street (go watch Freddy's demise and see the shot by shot homage) still holds up thirty plus years later. 

7. Gremlins (Kept it green for obvious reasons)
Tiny green monsters take over a Frank Capra-esque town in Joe Dante and Chris Columbus's brilliant satire. It's still scary and dark in that classic 1980's way like ET and Poltergeist, but still family friendly. Plus you get to watch some GRADE A racial stereotyping in the old shopkeeper and a great collection of green slime everywhere. A perfect intro to horror films for your younger movie goer. 

8. Elf 
The Will Ferrell man-child persona was created in this whimsical winter wonderland fantasy about a grown man who thinks he's an elf. This one could have been overwrought Christmas cheer, but Peter Dinklage and James Caan give this a lot of much needed cynicism and serious counterplay, like Michael Caine did as Scrooge. I wasn't a fan the first time I saw this, but it won me over eventually. Clearly in 2003 I was going through some shizzz. 

9. The Nightmare Before Christmas 
When people tell me this is more of a Halloween film, I just have to pull out my Masters of English and go, "Christmas is in the title, you nimrods!" Tim Burton's vision is on full display here (he only produced, Henry Selick directed), and Disney objected to this film's final cut at first, but now, like good capitalists, turned this film into their whole personality at Disneyland between October through December. When Jack Skellington takes over for Santa, chaos erupts. That's all you need to know about this claymation masterpiece.               

​10. Bad Santa 
So I needed to put one "adult" comedy on this list, and Bad Santa is the perfect film for the raunchy side of Christmas. Billy Bob Thornton gave it his all as a mall Santa who robs the malls he works at in this Terry Zwigoff R-rated naughty list classic. The film reminds us that only sweet natured overweight nerds on the spectrum can melt the heart of a criminal. Plus, Thornton and Lauren Graham of Gilmore Girls fame have an actually funny romance in a film that is more Coen Brother than it has the right to be.