Best Vacation Spots for 2019

2019 is just weeks away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start planning next year’s amazing vacation destinations! While cliché places like Hawaii or Cuba are always an option, these 5 destinations will provide you real adventure, romance, and family bonding.

Arby’s Pembroke Pines, Florida

If you love fine dining, the Arby’s in Pembroke Pines, FL will be an amusement park for your taste buds. This restaurant has repeatedly earned Yelp reviews ranging from 0 to 1 stars. Just look at the delicious food made from scratch.

Mmmmmme. Just like how step grandma used to make sandwiches.

The floor staff is known to be on break most of the time, allowing for the family to spend a lot of time complaining and bonding over the dining experience. Don’t forget your mace! Crime runs rampant!

Flint River Boat Tour
​(Flint, MI)

If the sea is calling your name, then go “sea” a Doctor, because water can’t talk! But if you like to get wet, the Flint River Boat Tour and Swim Lessons Experience is the vacay of a lifetime. You’ll bathe in the rich ocean water and feel younger than ever.

Bring your friends and family along, as Captain Jack (no relation to Disney’s character) takes you to the best places Flint, Michigan has to offer. And after the tour is done, feel the refreshing cool water against your naked back in front of strangers and nomads.

You’ll never think about where your bodily waste goes down the toilet the same ever again!

Ken Ham’s Creation Museum

Did you know Jesus rode dinosaurs! Watch out Jurassic World! Your park has some holy competition! Ken Ham’s Bonnie County, Kentucky “Museum” is filled with facts the liberal media doesn’t want you to know about! Bring the kids or bring your hot significant other. This museum, unlike The Getty, welcomes you with open arms. Tiny tiny T-Rex arms.

This couple was caught doing cocaine in the bathroom of an Arby’s in Florida before Ken Ham got ahold of them.

Yaji Mountain Hog Hotel
(China)

Here piggy piggy piggy! This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy went to the Hog Hotel. And that little piggy became bacon.

If you love hearing Jim Gaffigan talk about bacon, you’ll love this pig factory in the heart of China. The kids will love picking out their own little hog and hearing it scream in agony before eating it for breakfast or on a BLT the next day.

North Korean Room at the Madonna Inn
San Louis Obispo, CA

The Madonna Inn on the Central Coast in beautiful California is known for its romantic atmosphere and inspired theme rooms. Just look at these amazing room experiences:

The Safari Room will get your animalistic urges going wild!

Whether you want a futuristic or old fashion room, the Madonna Inn is your hideaway to that second honeymoon or first honeymoon or if you just want to have a night of intimacy without hearing the kids scream about some stupid video game you bought them last Christmas that you regret everyday purchasing because they fight about it all the time even though you got two controllers but noooooo they wanted another controller that was an extra $60 you can’t afford on your construction salary.

​I digress. The best kept secret room is the North Korean Room.

Spend the weekend in the underbelly of luxury with this real-to-life room. You’ll feel like a prisoner of love with that special someone. There’s no bed, so you’ll be frolicking on the floor without much of a choice. The room only costs $1600 a night, and all prodeceds go to the Glorious Leader in North Korea.

Make 2019 the vacation year of your dreams with these 5 destinations you won’t find in the AAA travel guide!