Delusion is the Drug They Give You

One time, while chatting with a slightly intoxicated comedy club owner, they told me the scariest piece of insight in how clubs survive - they said, "we pay our bills off the back of delusional people." It was such a cold and calculating comment to make. They said it with all the conviction in the world, and as if they've said it multiple times. Like it was the business plan mantra. I imagine the business loan process at the loan looking like this: 

Bank: "How do you plan to pay us back, Comedy Club Owner?" 
Club Owner: "On the backs of delusional people." 
Bank: "Deal! Here's a bag of money." 

Both laugh like evil villains in a 1920's silent film, both twirling their mustaches as a girl is tied to the train tracks in the background. 

That is not how any of it goes down (I think), but I can tell you that if you think a comedy club or the industry as a whole cares about you, you will find yourself in a very dark pace down the road. It's a conditional love. The condition being, you mutually benefit. Sometimes that means you are bringing guests, sometimes you're bringing the laughs, sometimes you're bringing higher level comics, etc. But in the end, many will feed off delusions of grandeur to maintain their bottom line.  

The fastest way to build your relationship with venues and bookers is to bring people or have a following, but the best way to have longevity is to be honest with your own abilities and limitations. Because if you listen to them, they might say untruthful things that can make you feel you're going in the right direction, or they can discourage you in ways that cause you to quit before you have your real breakthrough. While most producers, bookers, and venues are decent, many will feed you delusion pills to get you excited about supporting their business more than they are about supporting your comedy career.   

Here's a breakdown of ways to maintain your sanity and not become reliant on being fed delusional pills. 

For the Record, Most Won't "Make It"
If you feel like there are just so many comics and so many things to do to "make it," you aren't delusional. The comedy world is a hard business with a lot of gatekeepers and secret societies. But there are also a lot of transparent groups and comics that will really help you and give solid advice and opportunities. It's important to not put pressure on yourself to reach levels of success that you cannot control. Too often, people want to get passed at a club or get a comedy special, but that requires a lot of moving pieces you don't see in the forefront. It's not just the funniest comics who "make it." It's the ones who are in the right place at the right time. If you don't accept the luck factor, you'll keep running in circles that just tire you out. Most won't "make it," but many can make a good go of it. Comedy might not be the bread and butter of your bank account, but it can lead to other great things and be an appetizer.   

With that said, I always remind people, "Everyone is just one viral video away from fame." So reach for the stars, but it's okay if you only land on the moon. 

Don't Fall For False Promises  
If any booker or venue promises you anything like "we can make you famous" or "we can get you in front of the right people," be wary. I know clubs promise comics opportunities to open for big names, get in front of industry, etc. and the top comic never sees them (because they come later) or the industry is nothing more than their buddy who once sold a screenplay to a production company. There are bringer shows and comedy schools that tell comics the booker of big clubs will see them. There are clubs that hold their marque stars up in the air like carrots to grab. There are "headliners" who promise a lot of work if you do X, Y, or Z. But they come at a price. Sometimes it's your dignity and sometimes your own well-being. You become obsessed with the promised fame, you forget the comedy part, and kind of lose your soul. And if you think a club or comic will make you famous, ask yourself if they have a real solid track record or are considered a top resource as well. 

Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses
"Know thyself." Socrates said that a minute ago. And if you want to make sure you are not getting taken advantage of, having an honest assessment of yourself is key. If you are a few months/years into stand up and the booker or a producer tells you that you're ready to do something that takes others years or decades to do, there's probably some strings attached or conditions behind the promises. If a major headliner is asking you to go on the road with them, and you are brand new in comedy, there could be underlying reasons. They may like the power dynamics so they can bully you. They may want to sleep with you. They may even have you performing before them to look better after you bomb. Or worse...all three. These are not conspiracy theories. I know people who have gone through these very situations. If a comedian DM'd you after seeing a clip and wants to put you on the road with them, then be wary of what might come. Asking to be on one local show, sure. Traveling without a relationship? Totally sus. They are clearly trying to feed off the desire to get gigs faster, and that road leads to a lot of scary situations.        

Be a Student of Comedy (Inside and Out)
Being a student of comedy means understanding the basics of joke structure, the psychology of the audience, the business, and the wear and tear both physically and mentally on you. Study the greats. But don't always watch them for the topics they address; instead watch how they structure a headlining set. When do they go blue? How do they use crowd work? How many times do they use rule of three's or act outs? Learn the music and the lyrics. 

The same goes for controlling the audience. Be actively watching the faces of audience members while on stage. If people are listening but not laughing, then clearly you are being interesting, and you must punch up the jokes. If you are being high energy and no one seems to be watching you, time to slow down and get their attention differently.

And do not take the business side lightly. Learning the business side will keep you from getting burnt out and help you make money. When I realized early on I could sell tickets, I started utilizing door deals with venues. Why have my friend's money go to the club, when I could take a little as well? Major draws doesn't let clubs keep 100% of their ticket sales, and if you are bringing a fan base, neither should you.      

Burning Bridges Can Go Both Ways 
People warned me when I left Flappers and started my own thing I was "burning bridges." First off, who says burning bridges is always wrong. Sometimes you burn the bridge so you won't walk across it again. Sometimes you burn bridges to separate any guilt by association. Sometimes you burn bridges because you know things others don't and wisdom is power. 

Sometimes you have to burn the bridge to find better bridges. And remember, some comedy clubs are the ones responsible for burning the bridges, not comics. There are a lot of clubs that hold back on development spots, don't pay equally, bump you for bigger acts, screw you on door deals, steal your theme show and run their own, run schools and then don't book you because you stop taking classes, demand loyalty without returning it, and won't book your comedian friends because of a petty argument. When a club stops booking you for no reason or the bringer producer stopped booking you when your friends stopped coming, they're the bridge burner. There are bookers who created such a Stockholm Syndrome on comics, they got comics blaming their friends for not coming out enough and supporting their career. 

Whenever I hear a comic complain that their friends didn't support them, that's just the club using dark tactics to shift responsibility from them onto your family and friends. "I'd love to book you, but you need to bring your friends out," is such a manipulative tactic. There are plenty of clubs and small venues that don't require that. So if you walk away, it's not you who burned the bridge, it's them who lit the match. 

​Final Thoughts
Having longevity in comedy is hard. There are going to be better times and seasons than others. Years where you strike gold, and years where you strike dirt. But don't let the leeches or bad comics mislead you. Because flattery when not earned is a one way road to delusion. The Bible says in Proverbs 29:5, "A man who flatters his neighbor lays a trap for his feet." Don't allow anything to create delusion. You'll know when you're making it, when the jokes are hitting, and when they want you for your talent and professionalism.