The Sad Tragedy of Christian Cross

In my first years of comedy I really thought I was going to remain coaching, teaching, and become a corporate and church comic. It felt very organic and possible as I was already working clean and connected to churches through my experience in Christian education, marketing, and having filmed a Dry Bar Special. But nothing in the church based comedy world manifested. I even joined a few Facebook groups to try to get gigs. Nothing came of it. In fact, I only got one church gig on my own. It was a multi-generational Chinese church, and I was asked to intertwine a sermon into the act. Which was fine, but I realized that my dream of just doing comedy in the Christian market was going to be harder than I realized. 

What got me really focused on the market was one particular comic I had befriended on Facebook and Instagram. Let's just call him Christian Cross, to protect the innocent. His story is one of the saddest tales I ever saw play out through social media, a warning to young comics all over the club, church, college, and corporate scenes that you should always under promise and overdeliver. Christian Cross was not that comic. Today he's not really doing stand up. He's become a cautionary tale for those who reach for the prize too soon, only to stumble.   

The Set Up
Like me, Christian Cross was about two or three years into stand up. A family man, he attended all the Christian Comedy Association events and was able to book well over 50 high paying church gigs requiring an hour of comedy. At first, I was a bit jealous. Then I saw his stand up clips and I became enraged. It was bad. Hacky bits filled with long stretches of silence. Terrible impressions. Bad timing. Weird setups with punchlines like "butt-head" and "poopoo face." I thought, how did he get all this work? Then I realized, he asked. As the Bible says, "ask and you shall receive."   

One Year Later 
I decided to mute the stories and posts of Christian Cross, as he was living my desired life. I toiled away at clubs and worked on my writing. I ran bar shows, country club events, and eventually started teaching classes. Things were moving at a solid pace. Then a buddy mentioned he ran into Christian Cross. I asked how he was doing. I was told he had a Comedy Special coming out. WHAT? HOW? WHY? I let my worst parts of my soul take over me. Not an attractive look, to say the least. 

Two Years Later
My Dry Bar Special has come out by this point; before his special. I'm feeling good about my future as we are coming out of Covid-19. I'm booking shows nationwide. Things are comings together. Then my YouTube suggests Christian Cross's comedy clips. I tried to watch. It was atrocious. Bad puns. Weird church culture jokes. It was a really hard watch. I'm thinking he's making a fortune as I'm struggling but moving forward. 

Jealousy and envy are not healthy emotions. They can cloud your mind and create decisions that aren't based in good will or love, but out of fear. Not very "Jedi" of me, to say the least. Why did I let this one guy create so much animosity and frustration? Maybe it was because he had the "courage" to grab the comedy bull by the horns, whereas I just thought I wasn't ready to make bigger leaps and take financial risks.

Yet, I didn't really know him. For all I know he was unsatisfied in his career, life, marriage, etc. I decided to see how his career was panning out by doing a little internet deep dive.      

But a funny thing happened when I went to look at his website. It was almost non-functional. Videos wouldn't play, and it looked abandoned. He had no bookings coming up. Like I wrote, the website was barely accessible to use. I checked Christian Cross's Facebook and Instagram. Nothing. 

I then realized Christian Cross was no longer was touring. In fact, I heard from others that he bombed so hard, the churches and groups that booked him, refused to bring him back. And after his special dropped, bookers took away gigs upon watching it. According to his social media accounts he moved to a smaller state and performs in afternoon county fair shows...sometimes. 

Never before in my life did I feel both vindicated and utterly depressed and saddened. I really don't like celebrating in the downfall of anyone. I really do want everyone to succeed, but sometimes a petty part of me rises up and reveals a hole in my character. This is such a case.  

Lessons Learned 
So here I was super jealous of his career, yet it was those very same career moves that were creating future blockages and eventual rejections. You don't really know where anyone's path will take them, and you don't really know how anyone is really progressing in this industry. 

Sometimes the comic passed at all the big clubs is making no money, stuck in a cycle of performing for chump change while living off the "exposure" that club gives them. Sometimes the comic with a million followers on Tik Tok isn't getting the conversion of fans from views to paid seats. And sometimes the comic opening for a few big named headliners is miserable feeling chained to their schedule and whims.

I was wrong about Christian Cross. I thought he punched a one way ticket to success, and nothing could be further from the truth. 

Don't Feel The Need To Fly Too Close To The Sun   
I know we all want to make the money, get the gigs, and take on the comedy markets that we think will be the start of a great relationship. But the sad sad story of Christian Cross reminds me that you can network all you want, book everything, over promise on your abilities, and collect the checks, but if you aren't really ready, you destroy your future. You can only make a first impression once. And while no one expects you to be Robin Williams in year two, you shouldn't try to force the hand before others start giving it to you as well. If you think you are ready, and you really aren't, then what feels like a blessing becomes a curse. 

Too often comics want the "main stage" and think they'll rise to occasion. It's just not true. No one ever got "funnier" because more people showed up or the stage expanded. Or the headliner was famous and the crowd thinks you're their disciple. Christian Cross didn't know this. He thought he was making a good choice. Yet, he flew too close to the sun and now he's stuck playing 2pm shows in a place farther away from his dreams than he thought.

Final Thoughts 
I don't want to punch down, but I feel like these stories need to be shared so people are reminded that they can work hard and network and get the credits, but if you aren't in a place to handle the responsibility of headlining, you won't sizzle - you'll fizzle. Comedy is a long game. There's a reason most comics say it takes at least 10 years to find your voice, and years later to feel like you really know what you're doing. 

Jerry Seinfeld said your years in comedy is your age in comedy.  If you've been doing comedy for five years, then you're a five year old on stage. Christian Cross was 2 years old when he got the calendar filled. It's not filled anymore. Be grateful for slow starts and small beginnings.

Crawl before you walk. Walk before you run. Run before you Sprint. And if you sprint fast enough, you might get so famous you'll be hated by half the country and have a Dark Side of Comedy episode dedicated to you down the road. And in all reality, isn't that the real goal?

​(It's not, but I love irony)