The Ugly Truth About Looks

While we live in a world that tells us to celebrate ourselves fully, to embrace ourselves without question, and there is truth in that, in the world of comedy I have one response - ha! Don't let anyone tell you that your looks or age or race don't matter in comedy. Because they do. It's not just a "be funny" business. Anyone who broke free of the open mic circuit knows that on the other side is the political game. The "casting" of comedy shows and festivals, where the quotas are met, and the frustrating reality hits that they only need one of you, depending on your tribe or group. One lady. One senior citizen. One younger woman. One Asian. One Black person. One Middle Eastern. One fat guy. But then 4-5 mid looking white men named Lenny or Jake. If you think your looks don't translate to bookings, then you are very much mistaken.

The Silent Minority 
While every other group sees the bias in their demographic, one group that gets a short end of the stick are the good looking comics. No, really. Go look at a comedy flyer. Odds are it's mostly frumpy, fugly folks. It's not a lot of Sydney Sweeney's either. Go look at the lineups at the big clubs. Do you see a lot of 9's or 10's performing? No. Is it because attractive people aren't funny? We know that's not true. In fact. I would say being attractive helps immensely in the beginning, as their shiny faces help distract from the frump on the rest of the flyer. But what was a ladder in the beginning, sadly becomes a crutch down the road. Because most attractive comics face harassment and expectations that many comics never face.  

Humor is a Great Equalizer in the Arts          
Whenever they do a study about what women want in a man, routinely, a sense of humor tops the list. Albert Brooks once scoffed at that stat, stating, "I'm pretty sure Fabio does better with women that Gilbert Gottfried." It's a good point, and probably true, but women still swear that they want a man to make them laugh. In response to this claim, pundits have argued that women tend to find cute boys funnier because when nervous around them, they laugh. So it's not that "Chad" is inherently funny, but those dimples make a woman swoon.

Meanwhile, men traditionally could care less if a woman is funny. Sorry, ladies. No guy ever thought that she was so funny, she must be "wifed up" before it is too late. But it is very important women find HIM funny. Even a guy with nothing but dad jokes, puns, and stolen Tim Allen stories wants her to laugh at him. Men view humor as their greatest weapon to fight off good looking men in the dating pool. And the greatest insecurity a "funny guy" can feel is when his girlfriend or wife laugh at other men's jokes. In fact, the worst date a guy could take a woman on is going to watch funny male comedians. Watching their girl roll over in laughter is worse than catching them in bed with another guy...it hyperbolic theory. When he asks, "what that mouth do?" He's hoping she doesn't say, "Laugh at Matt Rife." This is why men have had to develop some type of personality. Because when she's giggling at pretty boy nonsense, his only comeback is; "But I'm actually funny." 

Women develop a sense of humor as a way to combat chauvinistic behaviors. It's their way to fight the patriarchy. If anything, the Barbie movie literally proved that theory. It's a way to become "equal" in the eyes of men. If anything, men find a woman who makes more money or funnier than them as a threat. I know that sounds weird, but we all know its true.     

What Makes a Person Funny? 
Growing up, extroverts are seen as the funny guys. Think about high school. The stoner who gets drunk at parties and dances on tables. The wild man. That is usually the introduction to what is funny. In fact, the most popular comics are those archetypes. Jim Carrey. Robin Williams. Chris Farley. It's a the clown - an over the top character on speed. The fat guy. The lanky guy. The sweaty guy. Not the attractive guy. It is how they separate themselves from the pack. It's a type of vulnerability that allows them to be free, whereas many attractive people feel the need to dress, stand, fashion themselves in a way others see as a mask.   

So when the goofy dudes transition to Hollywood, they become stars because they resemble our earliest memories of "fun." Rarely do young people find dry wit and sarcasm funny. It's an acquired taste. But bold and loud always gets the belly laugh. Relatively unattractive, these men's attractiveness stems from their confidence in telling jokes and act-outs. This is why Adam Sandler was a box office star and Albert Brooks wasn't. Sandler's over-the-top broad style reminds us of the class clown. Brooks is the class president or valedictorian. 

Even with women, it's the loud girl who is funny. The heavyset girl who puts everyone in their place. The tomboy. The emotionally detached emo girl too. From these archetypes we get Rosie O'Donnell, Wanda Sykes, Rosanne Barr, Amy Schumer, and Ellen. They are self-deprecating, They area bit aloof. They seem ironically surprised their poor choices lead to an unfortunate outcome. They love irony and sarcasm. They tend to be sexually ambivalent (The Rosie's come to mind) or very sexually expressive and experienced (a la Amy Schumer). Only recently, has the "hot girl" become the prototype. Maybe it started with the Cameron Diaz 1990's pixy dream girl look, but now we see a shift from Rosanne Barr to Nikki Glaser or Whitney Cummings. This has opened doors for many female comics, but there is still a bias against attractive women.  

Is There An Advantage in Comedy To Being Less Attractive? 
This gets a bit controversial, but it's generally true good looking people are considered less funny. As Christopher Hitchens once added, and I'm paraphrasing, an ugly man has to develop a sense of humor if he ever dreams of getting laid. If you think about the types of stand up comics that make it, they are not attractive people. Jim Gaffigan, Sam Kinison, Richard Pryor, etc. 
The main reason is because no one wants to hear attractive people complain.

• Fat people get to complain about food. Skinny people don't. 
• Short men get to complain about dating. Tall men don't.
• Tall women get to complain about dating. Short women don't. 
• Fat people are seen as jolly. Good looking people are seen as bullies.

It's not fair. But there is a psychology to this game. Like an 80's movie with a Ken and Barbie couple picking on the nerds, our society has been trained by nerdy writers and artists not to trust the pretty people. 

Plus, no one wants to hear pretty people problems. So if you find your jokes about the gym or dating hotties who won't commit bombing, then complain about a more universal problem first, then move into something that is unique to 10% of the population. Attractive comics make it work, but it takes some wiggling on stage to get there. 

Exceptions to the Rule 
Are there exceptions? Sure. Matt Rife and Dane Cook come to mind. Even Eddie Murphy would fall into this camp. Of course there are attractive female comics like Nikki Glaser, Sarah Silverman, and Ali Wong who write sharp jokes. One thing that I think pushes out female comics is the harassment and bombardment of sexual advancements they face. 

Many attractive female comics have complained to me that when they get opportunities, the bookers, producers, or headliners make strong moves on them. These slimeballs try to coerce women into sexual favors in exchange for stage time. This incel mentality goes from the open mic scene to the highest level of Hollywood. To quote Hamlet, "there's the rub." Women want the opportunity but don't want this repulsive expectation. And for the record, how much do these men have to really hate women to see them as purely vessels for sexual pleasure? If a comic, booker, etc. only wants sex in exchange for stage time, clearly they are ass wipes who will not do anything for you, except make you feel like less than you deserve to feel.  

What we found in the #MeToo movement is that this was more prevalent than even imagined. And we find that attractive males faced this as well with male executives. The recent Katt Williams interview hinted at this, and comedic actors like Terry Crews named names of agents who promised parts in exchange for more parts. This behavior is abhorrent and when seen has to be called out.    

How Can One's Looks Create a Window? 
Watching Rife today, he reminds me of Cook in 2006 when every girl I knew crushed hard. But the trajectory isn't long lasting as the audience grows up and the hot guy no longer relates to their audience. 

For these comics to last, it's all in the shift of complaints. Adam Sandler, the clear replacement of Shore in 1995 (Jury Duty flopped and Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore soared) grew up with his crowd, and did the brilliant move of making himself desirable by being married to Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, and Salma Hayek in his romcoms. Since beautiful women make men look better, he was able to go from goofball to dadbod. Whereas Pauley Shore, the icon of teen rebellion in the 1980s, stayed a boy and his audience passed him by.

When comics rely on their current looks to keep a career going, they find themselves fading out. It's why it's important to reinvent yourself every few years. You don't want to wake up wearing the same outfit you did ten years ago. That's how you become a Gallagher. 

What Can You Do to Leverage Your Looks?
There are ways to leverage your looks and keep your dignity. If there is a club or festival you want to get into, and you see they don't have a lot of talent that looks like you - hit them up! And just know that we are all struggling with getting booked. I literally had bookers tell me they don't need "straight white males," as if I can just pull from the SWM group fund to pay my bills. While the commitment to diversity is appreciated, it still plays out as gatekeeping no one really feels comfortable addressing.  
Regardless of the unfairness, we have to play the game to the best of our ability. It's really just a "moneyball" situation. Look for the opportunities out there and reach out. If you see there are places lacking people who look like you, START THERE. While most people who see their doppelgangers on the flyer hit those places up first, reach out to clubs and producers lacking representation that resembles you. It's not that they don't want certain groups - it usually stems from them having no idea where to look. 

Final Thoughts
The entertainment industry is a rough and tumble place where the rules change every day. One day Matt Damon is the ideal male and the next it is Seth Rogan. One day Rosie O'Donnell is the queen of comedy and then it is Iliza or Tiffany Haddish. Don't believe me about Rosie? She literally was cast as Betty in The Flintstones Movie, which many considered a sex symbol cartoon. So what was "hot" today becomes "cold" tomorrow.  

​But what never gets cold, is you moving as the chess board moves. It's reinventing yourself. It's finding universal complaints. It's creating a brand that reaches your people. And that's the beautiful part of an ugly truth.