Valentine's Day Questionnaire

Who wants to be my Valentine? I have a questionnaire:

1. Are you an adult female?
2. Are you single?
3. Does the idea of dating a teacher who moonlights as a comedian sound exciting?
4. Are you okay being the good looking one in the relationship?
5. Are you okay with being the tall one in the relationship?
6. Are you from the planet earth?
7. Can you name the city you live in or a city at all?
8. Does 1 + 1 = 2?
9. Can you speak English or understand basic body language?
10. Are you free on V-Day?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions...you qualify to be my Valentine.